Me: "No offense, but i think you're being a bit melodramatic about this"
Her: "F*** you"
-----
Okay, so i'm currently under the assumption that the suggestion to mate with myself was more of a quasi comic, quasi angry comment. That was the end of the conversation, and as i said, given the source, i really don't think it was intended to be too malicious, so i'm not horribly phased by it. But, in this, i realized just exactly why men lie, fabricate, sugar coat, dodge, and simply never flat out say what's really on our mind.
Now, i'm not advocating lying. Of course its nothing good. However, as a guy, i fully realize that most of the time, it's just easier to let you hear some version of what you want to hear... just as long as it has some inflections of my personality in it.
Her: "Do you like the color?"
Me: "Yeah, sure its great" --- aka--- honestly, i couldn't care less. so what, you frickin painted
Her: "Isn't this just so adorable?"
Me: "Very!" --- aka---- they're just slippers... seriously?... do you really need to have massive fluffy neon rodents on your feet?
Her: "What are you thinking about"
Me: "oh nothin really..."
Her: "No seriously, what are you thinking about"
Me: "umm.... just how lucky i am to be with you" ----aka---- Sex, I have to pee, i'm starving, that chick running down the road looked hot, sex, i'm tired, i'm glad you stopped talking about how your boss is a jerk, sex, etc, etc, etc
So clearly there would be a massive problem in saying most of, if not all of that. We would instantly be the worlds biggest jerk and / or pig, and you would instantly be HIGHLY disenchanted with us... Even in the nicest most innocent fashion, if i told any given girl that it really didn't matter to me that she ____________ ... then i would be an instant jerk. Because evidently her sense of self worth hinged on her painting, slippers, or new pajama bottoms. Now, this is where we really find ourselves getting in trouble.
On average, i would say that a good 90% of the time, it would never be in a negative way that we simply aren't effected by _________. But if we voice that we aren't effected ie: i don't care / couldn't care less / etc then we're instantly crucified as the horror of horrors of that moment. And for the rest of the evening, you women will passively aggressively never let us forget it.
*ring*
Her: "Hello?.. .Oh, hey Cindy... yeah, i got new curtains... no... he's being a jerk... he says he couldn't care less... you know... i just wish he'd care more"
*Doorbell*
Her: "Oh hey guys, come on in... it's so nice to see you again... Dinner is about ready. Oh umm.. but stay away from him... he's in a mood... he doesn't get why i have 'massive fluffy neon rodents' on my feet... OH THANK YOU... They are so cute aren't they!.... Well, at least SOMEone likes them"
*muffled noises of tv teenage drama's*
Her: "See!! HER boyfriend isn't being a jerk.. HE likes her pajama's"
-------Sidenote---------
Now, i am going to go ahead and rant about something that rather pisses me off--
If we as men were to be passive aggressive in this exact same manner... then we would be KILLED... ABSOLUTELY KILLED! There's a reason why women rarely hear their guy saying:
Me : "Yeah bob, i just got done changing that torque converter on her car... took me all weekend. Hey man, i appreciate you saying so!... at least SOMEone appreciates what i do around here"
Me : "Hey man, come on in.... the cards are on the poker table... feel free to grab a beer out of the fridge. Oh no.. dont mind her... She's in a mood. She thinks its 'stupid that i have to go racing around town to prove my manhood' ... DUDE YEAH!!.. I SMOKED that mustang... Man... See!!... you guys get it... 'least someone does..."
Completely inappropriate right? Not only would it be hurtful to hear those things, but its also HIGHLY inappropriate to share stuff like that with other friends. It only shows that you really know how to disrespect your wife / girlfriend in front of the guys. However, once again, if ANYTHING of that sort happened... INSTANT crucifixion. But for some reason, its okay for you ladies to make comments like this to us guys and should be held to no responsibility for your words. You want equal rights, i want equal responsibilities! Its just as inappropriate and massively disrespectful for you to tell cindy you wish i cared more, to tell the girls that i'm in a mood, and to compare me to some guy who gets paid to pretend (aka acting) to care.
-----End rant----------------------
Time and time again, it has been proven to us, that telling the absolute flat out, unfettered truth only proves to blow up in our faces. Now, i realize that i've gone on to comically bash women left and right here... and sure, i'm a bit biased because of the side of the fence that i'm on. But I wouldn't put it to any sort of a fault whatsoever. I'm totally all about a woman enjoying the things she does, wanting what does, and all in all just... being happy. TOTALLY fine with that. But we men are simply wired different... drastically. So, not that we're throwing down your thoughts likes and ideas... but half the time, we don't even get them. And believe you me, its EXTREMELY hard to participate in something that i dont comprehend. I just get off on different things. When i fix something... when i build something... when i create. When i drag race some punk strait out of high-school and beat the pants off him?.. heck yeah... i feel fantastic about myself... probably like you ladies do when you get that cute pair of pajama bottoms that look great on you.
I dunno... They say communication is a massive downfall in the ubiquitous relationships that we find ourselves in -- be it platonic or not... if not the root downfall altogether. But in all honesty, i would rather flat out lie to you just to keep you happy in the moment so the rest of my night doesn't go down the crapper... Granted i'm not saying that i typically DO flat out lie to women... needless to say, there's a reason why i tend to be a massive jerk around certain chicks :)
I dunno... It's all a fantastic dance of finding out just how someone works, so you can tell them the appropriate truth without hurting feelings or being a massive jerk.... it's fun... annoying, but fun.
Comments (96)
this is interesting to learn.....
Silly men. Just say what your girlfriend wants to hear, and everything is gravy.
another one of these.
Again, good thing not all guys are like this, and not not all girls are like this either.
heh. boys. see, this is why young women so often prefer older men. :P
This was too long for me to read lol. But the part I did read was very true. Especially where a girl asks what your thinking and you tell her how lucky you are to be with her. LMAO. I use that probably three times a week. And it's almost never true. Haha. Brilliant. Because we all know she would be upset if ever a thought crossed our minds that wasn't about her.
lol, I remember reading somewhere on xanga where a girl told a guy to just tell her he loves her, even though she knows he doesn't, just to say it. women can be kooky that way, but just tell her what she wants to hear, and she's all yours. =\ SAME GOES WITH MEN. if in doubt, feed their ego.
heavaly agrees..we lie cause they force us to...
well that's unfortunate.
while i think you should be interested in the things that your SO cares about (or find a different gal whose interests suit you), i think your ladyfriend needs to be better at handling the truth. it's not always pretty.
so true.. it was too long to read.
i hate men like that but i'm not that kinda girl either.
I somewhat agree but wouldn't it be easier to be with someone who shares mutual interests so you don't have to BS all the time? I'd never ask a BFs opinion on anything I buy besides lingerie because I assume he doesn't give a shit.
So either be with a woman who isn't so invested in constant verbal affirmation you care about her or find another way to show it.
AGREE!!!! Yall females should really think hard about this because its very true. Ladies of mancouch... if you think your man is great and says the right things cuz he genuinely is a great guy and wouldn't lie to you... hahahaha.... you're probably wrong. Sure 1 in 100 men might just be that guy who doesn't lie, but most likely he's not with you... he's with his boyfriend. (i'm just kidding about that boyfriend part) Don't fool yourself into thinking that you know more about how a man thinks than MEN do, its ridiculous. Just accept this for what it is and realize that you can't change it.
that "what are you thinking about" part...funnyyyy =D
@haloed@xanga - Yeah. Just condition yourself to consistent dishonesty. As long as you lie to her about everything that may offend her in the slightest, the rest is gravy.
BUT where do the lies STOP? Justify the little, white lies, and I'm sure you'll find yourself justifying the bigger lies...
@SighIntoAColorfulEye@xanga - T'was a sarcastic reply. Obviously you should not lie to your gal, but certain honesty is hurtful, so you just avoid it. It's like what any smart man does.
@MissPixieGlitter@xanga - I also agree with you, if you have so much to bitch and complain about with your ladyfriend, you should maybe consider someone else.
I KNOW my boyfriend doesn't think the same way as you put here, he's no where near that kind of an asshole, though I know men like that exist. And if there are men in existance that think the way you stated, well I don't want to bother with them.
@complicatedlight@xanga - Also agreed, young men can't appreciate women in the least and are quite often preoccupied with their own needs. Which is just NOT appealing to women of the same age.
I just tell the truth. I'm unimpressed by hissy fits and tears.
hahah i totally agree! great work..
but what i want to add is, doesnt matter if u "lie" or speak the truth that you like certain things (the neon rodents...etc).. they still think you arent sincere enough and are lying to them. GAY.
I HONESTLY like that guys lie about things like pj pants and slippers and paint colors. If they didn't it would be lots of pointless fighting. I can say I pretended to be interested in mx for months and I still do sometimes when my ex talks about it. He doesn't realize that I really have no idea what he's talking about sometimes. Nor do I can. But I listen and pretend to care. And I like when guys pretend to care back. I was talking about this with a guy friend the other day. He was saying how guys usually don't care about half of what a girl is saying. My best friend that I tell everything to is a guy and I know when he doesn't care and is lying about stupid things to make me happy. I want to hear certain things and be happy. I don't want to be miserable because some guy told me the truth about something stupid and pointless.
Maybe you should find a girl who also likes to race cars like a 16 yr old who just got their license, and stop whining. Not all girls are like this, you need to find a girl that doesn't need your approval constantly.
lol psch
Summarized: Men lie because women's narcissistic interests don't interest them and expanding a blog about it heightens the said increasing ego that men compete for in interests that women aren't interested in.
Class dismissed.
This is amusing.
I do the same thing. Yeah? good day at work, "Cool!" blah blah blah
i iz such a liar
but people if you have something interesting to say then no one will need to lie. lol
I blame stupidity
Dude, you gotta tell the truth sometimes. Make up sex man... it might just be worth it.
If I ask my boyfriend what he thinks of "this colour" or "this shirt" and he says I could care less, I just laugh. Because why would boys care about a shirt?
Anyways, I like how my boyfriend is honest. And I don't see why girls ask such silly questions. Why would someone want to know what someone else is thinking randomly? Who cares?
Not all women ask stupid questions, and get upset when they get a "I don't really care". It's all about being rational. I love honest guys.