Tuesday, 18 August 2009

• The Man's Survival Guide, Part 2: More 1st Date Do's and Don'ts

  Part 1 of Mr. Jin's series can be found here.
  

  
  DON'T, drink if you're Asian and are cursed with the "Asian Glow".
  Girls can hide some of the redness with powder and makeup, you my friend, cannot.  Being purple in a dimly lit room is not a good look...unless you're hitting on Barney The Purple Dinosaurs' younger sister.
  
  DON'T, take shots.
  It might sound like a great idea at the moment.  You've given the bartender a fat tip and so he's throwing down a couple free shots of Patron?  If you must take one, take it chilled.  The ice will dilute the shot at least by 20% or more.  All joking aside, I'm assuming you drove to this place?  I don't care if you drive off a cliff by yourself, but to do it with a passenger is no bueno.
  
  DO, ask questions, lots and lots of questions.
  It's a fact, women love to talk about themselves, shit, they love to talk period.  So come armed with a good amount of questions, hopefully they are questions you actually are interested in hearing the answers to, but if not, oh well.  I try to make as many observations as I can during the date.  Smell of perfume, style of hair, clothes they are wearing, decor of the restaurant, even other customers of the restaurant.  I can usually spot out a few girls and guys I'd think she might think are hot and ask questions regarding them too.  Basically, the more information you can gather, the better.
  
  DON'T, take that as a cue to ogle other women and point out how hot they are.
  If I really need to explain this to you, you're hopeless.
  
  DO, have a secondary location in mind "just in case".
  If you met for dinner at around 8pm, then chances are that things are wrapping up at the first location around 10:30pm.  Things going well?  Don't want to go home yet?  Well then this is the time to have a more "intimate" place lined up.  I'm not talking about Motel 6, get your snake back in the cage buddy.  No, I'm thinking along the lines of somewhere more quite where you can really get to know each other better.
  
  By this point, you are most likely buzzed or at least have a little bit of a head change.  How about coffee to sober up?  Sometimes people make the mistake of taking the party to another drinking location to get ass face drunk *points at self*.  If you really like this girl, I doubt that that's how you really want to end this evening.  I'd suggest coffee and maybe a walk around one of those large outdoor entertainment areas.
  
  Around here (LA/OC) we have a few choices, Universal City Walk, Irvine Spectrum, The Block...you get the picture.  I know it sounds cheesy, and far be it for me to take my own advice, but I'm just making the suggestion because I'm sober right now.           
  
  DON'T, make the move.
  You know what I'm talking about.  Night went well, you had a good time, what's next?  The movies will have you believe that you're supposed to walk her to the door, take her into your arms and have your way with her.  *Buzzer sound*  Wrong answer.
  
  Sure, I'm probably going to get a lot of shit from guys about this, but listen.  If you had to read a tutorial on a first date to get you through it, YOU my good man, do not have it in you to lay it down on the first date like that.  I'm just being real about it.  Personally, I do not make a first move on a date unless all the signs point to an bigger flashing sign that says, "DO IT."
  
  What might be these signs?  Well for one, the girl sitting on your lap straddling you while your driving is a good indication.  Or maybe her sucking on your earlobes are  you're trying to keep your car from running off the roads...that's another pretty good indicator.  Anything less than that, and just save it for the next date.
  
  

  Mancouch adds: We're saving the best for last... Part 3 is truly genius, as Mr. Dr. Jin explains how to end the evening with the smoothest of moves.
  
  In the meantime... we gotta ask: do you make the move on the first date?
  

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