Mr. Jin's "Man's Survival Guide" got me thinking about dates. Specifically, how do you prep for a hot date that you're really excited about?
Personally, my method is pretty straightforward:
Hit the gym for a light workout, making sure to blast my bis, tris and chest. (It sounds dumb, but you can really see the difference - and the physical exercise makes you super relaxed.)
Shower up and throw on a casual outfit.
Make sure I've got some good stories to make her feel comfortable and break the ice.
That's pretty much it. I try not to overthink things and just relax.
There's one more method of preparation I had never even considered before There's Something About Mary:
Dom: You choke the chicken before any big date, don't you? Tell me you spank the monkey before any big date. Oh my God, he doesn't flog the dolphin before a big date. Are you crazy? That's like going out there with a loaded gun! Of course that's why you're nervous. Oh my dear friend, please sit, please. Look, um, after you've had sex with a girl, and you're lying in bed with her, are you nervous? No, you're not, why? Ted: Cause I'm tired... Dom: Wrong! It's 'cause you ain't got the baby batter on the brain anymore! Jesus, that stuff will f*ck your head up! Look, the most honest moment in a man's life are the few minutes after he's blown his load - now that is a medical fact. And the reason for it is that you're no longer trying to get laid, you're actually... you're thinking like a girl, and girls love that.
It was definitely innovative thinking at the time - none of my friends at the time prepared for dates like this (at least, any timing along these lines was coincidental).
I've always wondered how many people actually did this, but it's hard to work into a group conversation ("Hey, how many of you guys flog the dolphin before a big date?") So I figured this is my one chance to get to the truth.
Umm... how many of you flog the dolphin before a date?
Nope. While I like the rationale behind Dom's suggestion, I don't believe that flogging the dolphin would make anyone any less nervous on a date. Of course, I'm sure there may be people who have had different experiences.
I flog the dolphin before I read mancouch...or during...whatever.
I flog the dolphin six times a day because I'm a fat loser that never leaves his house.
i spank the monkey before i KNO im gonna get some
i say, always keep a loaded gun, who knows when you might need it... but yeah, it takes a man to control its gun...
hahahaha. How do men walk around with those things?!
...but, in some way, I guess it makes sense. Maybe?
Yeah, I also keep my gun loaded. I'm confident enough to keep the safety on when I need to. And later on in the night, maybe the chick herself will flog the dolphin for me.
@boo_the_dude@xanga - Yeah, you always have to do a pregame practice. Its like high school football. The team always gets together for a small light practice before the big Friday night game.
If its a first date or something like that I'm already assuming I won't get laid so I keep the gun loaded so i can reward myself when i get home afterward with a huge splashdown to her memory. But if its nearing date #3 and we've never had sex before OR we've been dating for a while but havent hooked up in a few weeks I'll deliver some knuckle-children before hand...
Because as most experienced men know, that FIRST nut is PURELY for us. The second 3rd and 4th are ALL you :D ...most women don't have the mindset to stick around if you bust quickly so they will miss out on how insanely long you can last once you get the first one out of the way so its good to go ahead and send out the scouts gorilla style before you send the main platoon into battle.
But as far as a regular date where sex isnt in the forecast i'll go without and just bring a condom that has a thicker build just encase.
Lmfao nope never have, sounds like it may work though xD
Comments (9)
Nope. While I like the rationale behind Dom's suggestion, I don't believe that flogging the dolphin would make anyone any less nervous on a date. Of course, I'm sure there may be people who have had different experiences.
I flog the dolphin before I read mancouch...or during...whatever.
I flog the dolphin six times a day because I'm a fat loser that never leaves his house.
i spank the monkey before i KNO im gonna get some
i say, always keep a loaded gun, who knows when you might need it... but yeah, it takes a man to control its gun...
hahahaha. How do men walk around with those things?!
...but, in some way, I guess it makes sense. Maybe?
Yeah, I also keep my gun loaded. I'm confident enough to keep the safety on when I need to. And later on in the night, maybe the chick herself will flog the dolphin for me.
@boo_the_dude@xanga - Yeah, you always have to do a pregame practice. Its like high school football. The team always gets together for a small light practice before the big Friday night game.
If its a first date or something like that I'm already assuming I won't get laid so I keep the gun loaded so i can reward myself when i get home afterward with a huge splashdown to her memory. But if its nearing date #3 and we've never had sex before OR we've been dating for a while but havent hooked up in a few weeks I'll deliver some knuckle-children before hand...
Because as most experienced men know, that FIRST nut is PURELY for us. The second 3rd and 4th are ALL you :D ...most women don't have the mindset to stick around if you bust quickly so they will miss out on how insanely long you can last once you get the first one out of the way so its good to go ahead and send out the scouts gorilla style before you send the main platoon into battle.
But as far as a regular date where sex isnt in the forecast i'll go without and just bring a condom that has a thicker build just encase.
Lmfao nope never have, sounds like it may work though xD