Tuesday, 18 August 2009

• The Man's Survival Guide: 1st Date Do's and Don'ts.

  All this is under the assumption that you have enough game to get yourself the first date.  A little guide to my brothers get to that all important 2nd date aka "bow chika bow wow~" J/P. 
  
  DO, pick a place with a good amount of ambient noise.
  Unless you're Mr. Smooth-Talker, 1st dates can get a little unnerving.  Those long awkward silences can throw you off your game in an instant.  I usually like to choose places that are loud, but not too loud.  Avoid places where you have to scream through your conversation.  Chances are high that in a place that's pretty loud, there are some interesting things going on that you can fall back on should you run short on material.  Remember gents, the longer you keep a girl talking, the more fun she thinks she's having.
  
  DON'T, go to the movies on a first date, this is a total high school move.
  I think the only reason movies became such a popular place for dates is because people with no game needed a place where they could go to waste a few hours.  The first date is about gauging the person and seeing if she's a possible match for you, what could you possibly accomplish by sitting quietly munching on popcorn and sipping a $15 dollar diet coke?
  
  DO, wear the absolute best outfit you have in your wardrobe.
  You know the saying, "clothes make the man"?  Well, it's absolutely true.  Listen, everyone has their insecurities; some people worry about weight, others about height, bad skin...whatever.  At least wear something on that will boost your confidence level to the highest it can be.  If you're a little vertically challenged, wear an outfit that gives you an excuse to wear some dress shoes...at least the heel will give you a good half inch or so. 
  
  DON'T, smell.
  For those of you guys who tend to have body odor problems (I know you know who you are), fucking take a GOD DAMN shower right before you go out.  Don't think to yourself, "I'll just spray on some cologne, it should mask it".  No bitch, it does not.  It just makes you smell French.  Also, after taking that nice shower, do not throw on clothes that you've already worn without washing it too.  I understand that dry cleaning bills can be expensive, but what's the point of taking a shower when you're going to put on the same dank shit you were wearing last night?  Women are used to smelling pretty things, like lotion, shampoo, deodorant, shit like that.  A "musky" smelling dude will get the rejected faster than a midget in the NBA.
  
  DO, arrive to your date on time.
  Women are notorious for keeping guys waiting, it's not uncommon for them to have you waiting outside or in the living room for up to 10 minutes.  But what's uncommon, are guys keeping them waiting.  You can swing this both ways and say, "well, I'm a bit of a dick, so I like to be late, keeps the girls on their toes".  Well homie, if you got game like that, then you don't need to be reading this tutorial now do you?  This is for the more inexperienced guy...unless you have the juice to pull off keeping a chick waiting, just arrive on time and wait like a good boy.  She'll feel bad for keeping you waiting and you start the date off with some brownie points for being a good sport.
  
  DON'T, wait longer than 15 minutes TOPS.
  If someone is inconsiderate enough to keep you waiting for that long, leave.  The girl that has the nerve to do that my friends is what we call, "a bitch".  She's the type to play games with you and expects you to take it in the ass like a dog.  Hell no gents, we're not having that.  If she lags on you for more than 15 minutes, just leave.  Do not call her, do not text her, just leave.  More likely than not, she's testing you to see how much she can get away with.
  
  DO, pick a place you're familiar with.
  Whether it be a restaurant, bar, lounge, wine bar, bowling alley, Chuck-E-Cheese, whatever.  Choose a place you've been to before, but hopefully it's a place that she hasn't.  If you two both live in the same city, this might be difficult to pull off.  If you're lucky enough to choose a place that she's unfamiliar with, you've got home field advantage.  You know the bartender?  Slip him a $20 early on and watch as he kicks down on the "top shelf" alcohol.  Or if you know someone in the waitstaff?  Grease the wheels a little and make sure that service goes off without a hitch.  It's one thing to go to a nice place and have good food, it's a whole different story when you're catered to with some "freebies."
  
  DON'T, spend more time talking with your waiter/bartender buddy than your date.
  Yeah I get it, you know the people who work there, point taken.  Don't be the douchebag that name drops and needs to let everyone in the restaurant know that you know the waitstaff/bartender.  That'll have the exact opposite effect, instead of impressing her, you'll make her think that you took her to one of your friends places because you're too cheap to spend a little extra.
  
  DO, buy her a drink.
  Alcohol is known as a "social lubricant", anything that has the word "lube" in it is a good thing...I kid.  Unless she does not drink at all, buy her a glass of wine or four.  Again, you're in a high stress situation.  You're doing everything you can to make sure this girl wants to see your ugly mug again, that's tough enough as it is.  Please by all means, indulge in a couple drinks yourself, but PLEASE know your limits.  "Mildly buzzed, talkative guy" can be fun, "heavily buzzed, slurs your speech guy" is freaking annoying...it's a fine line gentlemen.
  
  

  Mancouch adds: Mr. Jin also had some great advice on how to say goodbye (or not) at the end of the date.  It was great stuff, so we decided to save it for a separate post so this one wasn't tl;dr.
  
  How many of these nine dos and don'ts do you follow?
  

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