Friday, 07 August 2009

  • Are you a creeper?

    I sometimes wonder how people can end up so socially awkward. It's especially bad for males because it dampens their chick-getting-abilities.

    Once you've been dubbed a creeper by one woman, all her friends will dub you a creeper. They'll spread the word, and you'll be shunned from your neighborhood! People won't make eye contact with you anymore. Parents cover their children's eyes in front of you and walk around your path as if you weren't just a creeper, but a pedophile too

    A whole chain of events happen when you're a creeper. I don't want these things to happen to the Mancouch readers so I took action and compiled a list!

    How do you know you're a creeper?  Well, you know you're a creeper when...

    1. You Follow Girls

    You find yourself following a pack of attractive females at the club(mall, beach, other area where girls congregate in large groups) around. They're pretty, yes, but don't follow them. Following them will make you look like a desperate stalker, and will blow any chance you might have had with all of them.

    2. You Stare at Girls

    You can't help but stare now at the same pack of girls. Even if you're not following them around, observing them from a distance is weird too. It's ok to glance every now and then, but straight up staring is odd. Just because people are pretty doesn't give you the right to stare (same goes for ugly people!)



    3. You Invade Personal Space

    You find that you've mustered courage enough to approach the females you've had your eye on, remember to stay out of their personal space. No one likes their personal space to be invaded. You might have friendly intentions, but you're not cramped in an elevator. Take a step back!



    4. You Touch Girls You Just Met

    You're talking to someone, and not stepping all over their personal space, just keep the conversation topic light and friendly. Just don't touch them. Don't massage their shoulders, or rest your head on their shoulder, or tickle their ribs, or anything! You've just met this person, you're not best buddies.

    Other signs that you're a creeper are (but not limited to):

    • watching someone sleep while eating popcorn like it's a movie,
    • going to the same coffee shop each morning just to "bump" into the same person you've seen every day for the last four months,
    • hiding in the bushes outside their home wondering where they are, etc.

    Now, here is to avoid "creepin"... don't do any of the above. Duh.

    Mancouch readers, are you a creeper? Do you know a creeper? How do you 'fend yourselves from creepers?

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