Friday, 07 August 2009

  • Men Who All Men Love

    The other day I gave you all a list of Guys Who All Guys Hate. There were some accusation that those chosen for this list were chosen out of jealousy because women love them. This could not be more false.

    For one, there are a large number of women in our own comments section who agreed with the male hatred for these figures. Secondly, the deciding factor for all the choices was the male capacity for tool-dar. We can smell a tool a mile away and we care not for tools (the people version). Finally, as you'll see below the determining factor on male hatred for a fellow male is not good looks or female attention and affection as a number of these men, beloved by other men, are quite well off in those categories.

    Ultimately, if the deciding factor for how much men everywhere hate you is how much of a tool you are, then the deciding factor for how much men everywhere love you is probably bad-assery. Below is a list a list of men who are universal mancrushes:

    Christian Bale



    This dude owns the words intense and badass. Seriously, I think he's had them copyrighted. The dude is motherfucking Batman! Do I even need to say any more? I have and will watch every single movie he is and will be in. Almost every one of them is great. (A rare misfire in every conceivable way with Newsies, and Public Enemies was only so-so, but it's not his fault that Michael Mann's once brilliant mind for staging heist movies has been reduced to shtick). 

    Clive Owen



    This gloomy gus is the perfect silent badass in an overcoat that Harrison Ford played for years. Every talented director in Hollywood should be making a Neo-Noir film for Clive Owen to star in right now. And have you seen Children of Men? One of the best movies I've ever seen. Shoot 'Em Up was hilarious. It's called range, people!

    Jason Statham



    I'm pretty sure he has the power to kill just by looking at people. He is a real martial artist and has a classic cool. He's like a modern day Steve McQueen (aka the inventor of awesome).

    Bruce Lee



    The  Legend. I don't even need to say anything, do I? I will add this, this is where every one of our facinations with martial arts and nunchuks began (well, Bruce Lee and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles).

    Samuel L. Jackson



    "I'm tired of these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!" Taught us all the meaning of bad mother fucker in Pulp Fiction and never looked back. Makes everything in life more enjoyable.


    What are some other guys that all guys love?

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