Thursday, 06 August 2009

• Hotties, then and now! NSFW

  

  
  

  80's and 90's child stars all GROWED UP.

  I used to think some if these chicks were mad hot.  I've assigned them points according to how Fappable* they were/are.

  Fappable - adj.

  Of sufficient quality to masturbate too.

   

  Person 1 : Hey dood did you just see that chick walking down the street?
  
  Person 2: Yeah I didn't really like her face but that shit is totally Fappable.

  Scoring.

  1 = I'd rather be fapping to Alf.

  10 = Fapping in progress.

  1.  Alyssa Milano - No intro needed.  I distinctly remember saying this about her, "She is going to be so fucking hot when she gets older".  That was when I was 6 years old.  I was wise beyond my years.

  

  Then.

  

  Now. 

  Damn, I'd like to show her who's the boss. Fap fap fap.

  Fap Meter: 10+

  Christina Applegate - I bet every (straight) guy from my generation has rubbed one out to this girl.  Kelly Bundy, the prototypical blond, bimbo...gotta love her.

  

  Then.

  Fap fap fap.

  

  Now. 

  Err, minus the boobs.  She had a double mastectomy due to symptoms of breast cancer.  I cried a little when I heard that, what a waste. Oh well, I'd still fap to that.

  Fap Meter: 8 (minus 2 pts for the minus 2 breasts)

  Soleil Moon Frye- Better known as Punky Brewster.  I never thought she was hot, but I remember when I was a teenager I heard she got a breast reduction.  How big do they have to be if you're going to get them reduced?  Them shits must have been HUUUUGE.

  

  Then.

  

  Now.

  Fap Meter: 6

  Tiffany Amber Thiessien - The all American Kelly Kapowski.  Kelly was the most popular girl in school and was head cheerleader and captain of the volleyball, swim, and softball teams.  She really knew how to shake them pom poms.  Oh yeah, you know I rubbed one out to her too.

  

  Then.

  

  Now. 

  Fap fap fap fap fap....

  Fap Meter: 9

  Jennifer Garth:  Undoubtedly the hottest girl in the 90210 zip code.  Platinum blond locks that made all the guys grow sideburns.

  

  Then.

  

  Now.

  Aged very nicely.  Major fappage.

  Fap Meter: 9

  Drew Barrymore - I didn't even know who she was until highschool when a buddy pulled out his 1993 Guess Jeans catalogue.  He then commenced to fap.

  

  Then.

  

  Now. 

  Very nice and curvy. 

  Fap Meter: 7

  

  Err...make that a 8.  Fap fap.

  Jessica Biel - Of 7th Heaven stardom.  I have no idea what the show was about but anything that can turn out this kind of hotness deserves an Emmy.

  

  Then.

  

  Now.

  Please do not disturb me, fapping in progress.

  Fap Meter: 10

  On a side note, this girl was also on the show.

  

  Something about the way she looked.  I wanted to run her ass over with my car. 

   

  Keisha Knight Pullam - Cute little Rudy Huxtable.  **DISCLAIMER** No fapping occurred during this portion of the post.  Please don't arrest me.

  

  Then. 

  

  Now.

  Over 18?  Yes?  Fap fap.

  Fap Meter: 6

  Jaime Foxworth: You might remember this one from Family Matters.  She was the younger sister of Steve Urkel's love interest. 

  

  Then.

   

  

  Now.

  Following her critically acclaimed performance as what's her face, Jaime Foxworth moved on to a lucrative and prestigious career in porn.

  Fap Meter: 1 (Damn Alf be looking good right about now.)

   

  Danica McKellar - Winnie, the girl next door.  Actually, she was the girl next door to Kevin, that bastard.

  

  Then.

  

  Now.

  Oh teacher, can I have some extra credit?

  Fap Meter : 7

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