Wednesday, 05 August 2009

  • Guys Who All Guys Hate

    Guys kind of exist with a pack mentality. We can befriend nearly any other dude. All we have to do is question who would win in a fight, a black panther or a black bear and we'll be arguing for hours until we end up beating the crap out of each other and then going out for a beer. Such are the ways of male bonding.

    However, there are exceptions. And this crops up in the world of celebrity. When guys sniff out that some dude isn't quite one of our own there tends to be a very negative reaction. That's how we get guys who all guys hate:

    Robert Pattinson



    Well, hating Twilight has become a national past time for many. And that's just the start for this pale, sickly looking dude famous for playing a stalker. I think a large part of the hatred of him is the shrill siren of female screams that are heard whenever Edward Cullen is mentioned, despite his being a creepy stalker and incredibly old. Also hating Twilight. And did I mention the line "You're like my own personal brand of heroin" is so agonizingly awful you would have thought it was written by Diablo Cody.

    The Jonas Brothers



    Three brothers who make awful music that's really just a marketing campaign for the Disney corporation. Do you really have to ask why they are so despised? And once again, much like with Twilight, the tweens are ruining the world for everyone else. Seriously, who would have thought the most terrifying thing in the world would come in the form of a word a vomit inducing as "tween?" (also, just look at them, don't you just want to cause them bodily harm?)

    Pre-Scorsese DiCaprio



    It's easy to forget now how much guys despised Leonardo DiCaprio back in the day. He was universally hated. A lot of flack probably came from Titanic (there's hope for you yet Robert Pattinson!). The only part of his movies guys liked were when he died. But then he teamed up with Scorsese and became awesome sauce. I mean, he's gone from universally hated among the male population to if he's in a movie we have to, at the very least, consider it, no matter what it is. It's an impressive feat.

    Bruce Wayne



    That drunken layabout playboy does nothing but live off his name and good looks. He contributes nothing to society! When is he going to wake up and do something with his life?

    Pre-SNL Justin Timberlake



    Justin Timberlake is another one who has redeemed himself after years of suckage. He was Mr. 'Nsync. The very face of all boyband awfulness. His music got slightly better after he left that, but still sucked. He was attempting to become an actor. He was everywhere and there was nothing we could do about it. His popularity and prevalence was inescapable. Then he appeared on SNL and provided some of the most watch-able moments that show has had in years. And he wasn't just celebrity funny. He was legitimately funny and even, dare I say it, charming. We still hate almost everything he produces, but we just can't hate him any more. Funny always wins out in guy terms.

    Any dude with any connection to American Idol



    This show has been a boon for guys to hate. First off you have the smarmy British judge/producer who I don't think has any actual connection to music in any way. And he's the most likeable guy they have. The other male judge is the only black man in America who has to try so hard to be black (and still fails). Then you have a host who is America's most massive tool (although, apparently he freely admits it which kinda gets him off the hook). And who was the biggest male star that they produced? Clay Aiken. Really? That's the best you can do? Gross.

    Who are some other universally hated guys?

Related Posts

Comments (96)

  • Choose Identity

  • Give eProps (?)

  • New! You can now edit your comments for 15 minutes after submitting.

About the Author

Tags

Who recommended?

Who gave the eProps?

2 eProps from: