Greek statues have raised the self esteem of men around the world. Guys always feel better after a trip to the museum, as Greek statues make us all look good.
I always wondered why Greek statues had such small packages...
It's ok to show naked things if it's ancient art.
I just assumed that it was a national characteristic of all Greeks (I'd like to take this opportunity to apologize to my friend Niko). Anyway now that I'm writing for Mancouch, I had an excuse to Google my way to the truth. Here is an expert on the subject
From [the] vast array of XXX-rated artwork we can make a few deductions about Greek aesthetic preferences, genitaliawise (here I mainly follow Kenneth Dover's landmark study Greek Homosexuality, 1978):
(1) Long, thick penises were considered--at least in the highbrow view-- grotesque, comic, or both and were usually found on fertility gods, half-animal critters such as satyrs, ugly old men, and barbarians. A circumcised penis was particularly gross.
(2) The ideal penis was small, thin, and covered with a long, tapered foreskin. Dover thinks the immature male's equipment was especially admired, which may account not only for the small size but the scarcity of body hair in classical art. A passage from Aristophanes sums up the most desirable masculine features: "a gleaming chest, bright skin, broad shoulders, tiny tongue, strong buttocks, and a little prick."
This is like a Bizarro world... big is small, and small is big. It's strangely fascinating, until you get to the stuff where it's encouraged to molest young kids. In any case, mystery solved: Greek statues have small packages because that's the way they liked it back then.
Did anyone else just think that Greek guys were cursed in the package department?