Monday, 03 August 2009

  • Why I Hate Humanity: The Snuggie For Dogs



    There comes a time in everyone's life (or maybe not) where they become convinced the Universe hates them or perhaps that the Universe was created simply as some cruel game made to torment them. This is that moment for me. When I was first directed to the website proving this atrocity's existence all I could feel was anger, but now I am just sad and exasperated.

    I think this is a moment in time where humanity really has to look itself in the mirror and say, "Really? We have the gift of reason and opposable thumbs which have given us dominion over the animals of the land and this is what we've done with it?"

    I guess the concept of "with great power, comes great responsibility" went right out the window, didn't it? Oh well, you tried, Spider-Man, you tried.

    You see, mancouch, society has finally ended. It's been a good run, it really has. We've had some good times. Those Ancient Greeks were really something weren't they? But now it's time to move on. I really can't see how society can continue to exist now that there is a Snuggie for dogs.

    Who really hates their dog enough to do this to them? What the hell, Snuggie creators? Was destroying any possibility of humans being taken seriously either by future generations or aliens not enough? Now you have to torment some poor fucking dogs?

    I thought we were in a freaking depression. Who in their right mind is actually spending money on this?

    And do I even have to mention that dogs, you know, have FUCKING FUR ALL OVER THEIR BODIES!

    Where did we go wrong? I've lost all sense of being. If you see some one walking their dog in a goddamn Snuggie, just walk over to the owner and punch them in the face. Please. I don't ask for much. It's doing your part to make the world a better place. The dog will thank you and I will thank you and every person with a properly working central nervous system will thank you.

    Have you ever joined in the desecration of humanity and bought a Snuggie product? Would you?

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