According to Webster's Online Dictionary, the word "emasculate" has a couple definitions. Besides one that is completely irrelevant (had something to do with flowers) and one that's a little bit too literal for this ("to deprive of virility or procreative power;" think
Sin City or
Hostel: Part II), the last one is "to deprive of strength, vigor, or spirit."
Here at Mancouch, emasculation is something we're ideally trying to stay away from, and so, when I saw
this, I figured that it would be a good thing to pass along. I rethought that almost immediately after reading it, but, well, I've already started typing.
The link is from the brilliant staff of AskMen.com, on how to "reverse emasculating trends" while you're in a relationship with your girlfriend, and their tips are as follows:
*Stop asking for her opinion.
*Phase out baby talk.
*Stop whining.
*Do something macho.
*Work out.
*Treat her like a woman. Reasonably, that first one might be enough to change the name of this list to "How to Make Sure You Don't Have a Girlfriend Anymore."
Listen, I agree that men shouldn't be whipped in relationships, because that isn't healthy, but completely ignoring any female input sounds a whole lot like relationship suicide. Also, how is working out going to help? Last I checked, being able to beat up your girlfriend wasn't the right way to go about things either.
There are definitely smarter ways to make sure that you stay manly in a relationship, cause I'm feeling like following AskMen's steps are a good way to become a better-fit version of this guy.
As I'm writing this, I can actually feel the female Mancouch readers getting upset. Turning it over to you guys,
do you agree with this list? If not, what do you think are the right ways to go about it?
Comments (17)
that last picture is so disturbing.
LOL. i roll my eyes at askmen's stupid "suggestions" (particularly the first one), but you have a perfectly legitimate question.
personally, i think it's all good as long as other people treat you like a respectable human being (regardless of gender and assuming you are a respectable human being). your gender identity has got to be pretty weak if the trivial actions of others can threaten it.
I really don't like baby talk or whining from a guy
a guy should act like a guy. i mean, if you're dating one, why would you date a girl in a guy's body unless you were secretly lesbian but with a penchant for dicks? in order to be an unmanly man, you need only to read the numerous amounts of fiction stories posted by teenagers on fictionpress.com. guys who whine, cry, are soft on the inside but oh-so-tough on the outside, have luxurious and silky long hair, draw/sew, glitter, etc.
1. Stop asking her opinion- That one treads a line. How are you going to communicate with your significant other if you stop getting input. Don't ask her for her opinion on your hang nail. Do ask her opinion on whether or not Ava Mendes is a good actress.
2. Phase out baby talk- Yeah. If your feeling emasculated it might be wise to cut that stuff out, on your end anyway. You don't have to replace it with a smack on the ass or anything, just stop calling her all that gushy stuff. And be sure to cut that LoL, byb, and noob, out of your vocabulary.
3. Stop Whining- Yeah. She's not your mother or your therapist, she's your lady.
4. Do something macho- If she's receptive to romantic stuff, rent a hotel room and put on some baby making music while she lies down on a bed full of rose petals. If she wants aggression you might have to buy a big truck or a fast car with a loud muffler or get drunk at a bar and beat the crap out of someone (just make sure its not her. Sometimes plans can go haywire.)
5. Work out- If your gonna do something macho you better work out. Or just work out for the increased stamina. Not everyone can have a face like Brad Pitt but we can all have his abs from Fight Club. You can actually hear the emasculating stop when she sees you with your shirt off.
6. Treat her like a woman- Sure why not?
if it's a partnership or a marriage, I think he should consult with her on the big stuff. but should he ask "tuck my shirt in or leave it out?" every time he gets dressed? Well, that is either cute, or it's over the top
The only thing on that list that bothered me was #1.
I hate baby talk, and whining. I think it's cool when my boyfriend does something macho like lift heavy things, and stuff like that. Working out is a good stress reliever so if someone is less stressed their relationship will be better.
And women do like to be treated like women... because we're women. Haha.
LMFAO @ Being able to beat up your gf haahah
That cartoon is awesome.
well, working out helps you be in good shape, which makes you SEXY. hello? Also baby talk is a turn off for me. Some girls do like a manly man, but i can see men reading that and taking it to the extreme...
@DeLasombra@xanga - And with that I have nothing to say
- just don't ask for every little thing...my little sister does that and it's just as annoying....good god.
*Phase out baby talk.
- wtf? who does that? and if so can i punch them in the face?
*Stop whining.
- yeah, definitely don't whine a lot. there's a difference between disagreeing and being immature.
*Do something macho.
- you're a guy, if you didnt do something manly...well...consider yourself dumped. can't handle pretty boys. ugh.
*Work out. -
do not become the guy in the last picture...gross, you gotta be able to throw down some punches in case of an emergency. ;] plus, mansweat: epitome of manliness i suppose.
*Treat her like a woman.
- i am NOT a little girl, you better damn well know it.
that's just my version of that list.
Just when you piss me off Mancouch.. you bring it back around and make me proud I'm a subscriber. Great post!! (PSST YOU BROKE YOUR OWN RULE THERE AT THE END GENIUS... DON'T LET US DOWN AGAIN)
But when women step in here and try to post their littler two cents agreeing/disagreeing with things. Dude, shut the fuck up. Go watch sex and the city and leave grown-ass adult man talk to grown-ass adult men ;p and don't turn up the attitude when I smack your ass before you leave the room XD j/k
All those celebrities you like... you like them because of the ROLES they play in films and sweet little lies they tell you in their music. Its entertainment... so when you watch the fucking Notebook and then come home and tell me I don't love you because I don't act like that crooked nosed rich bastard(who was PAID to act that romantic), you're living in a fairytale. Come back to reality ...and make me a sammitch on your way.
Ask Men probably has female editors... im checkin up on that right now...
I thought the actual article was really good. I found it quite well-balanced, and I'm usually one who gets all up in arms about women's equality. Sure, the first tip sounds bad as a bullet-point, but when I read the article I thought it was quite clear that what the writer was saying was not to NEVER ask a woman's opinion, but merely to remind men that they don't have to ask about every little thing, every single time. Basically, that it's ok to have opinions and desires of your own, so you don't have to ask where she wants to eat every time you eat out together. Frankly, I think that if this list were reversed and read from a woman's perspective, very few women would have a problem with it.
I agree. I see guys getting whipped all the time and I think it's awful. If the guy is sweet and good then he seems inevitably taken advantage of, even if he wasn't a wimp to begin with. Either that or the girl is abused (emotionally usually, for the record).
*Stop asking for her opinion.
I believe relationships should have a balance. just like everything else in this world. Sometimes her opinion dont count for shit, visa versa, but as long as your being considerate and remembering she is a person with feelings.....
*Phase out baby talk.
I my self would not want to be talked to like a baby...but if thats your thing....
It doesnt make you any less of a man to show affection however you like.
*Stop whining.
Agreed.
*Do something macho.
Theres not even any words for to say how retarded this statement is, in or out of context.
*Work out.
What does this even have to do with it?
*Treat her like a woman.
Depends on your definition on how a woman should be treated....
I agree with the list. When you actually read the whole article, alot of it makes sense.
"There’s nothing wrong with asking for input periodically, but incessantly asking her what she wants to do tonight, or what she’s thinking about, will only irritate her." Definitely true. I get tired of always being the one to pick what restaurant we go to. If you really didn't have a preference, 1) save some money by eating at home or 2) don't whine when you don't like the place I picked. We want a man, and a real one can make a definite decision once in awhile without looking like a whipped puppy. I don't want to feel like I'm dating myself.
"One of the good things about being in a relationship is that we can talk to someone about our troubles, but complaining all the time makes you sound like a whiner, and a bit of a wuss." I would really prefer that instead of complaining, the guy just handles the situation. There are some things that can be fixed, and it doesn't involve sitting around being whiny.
"Face it, when you let yourself get all doughy and soft, her attraction falters." Not to sound shallow or anything but this is also true. Yes, we do love you for who you are, but can we help it if our attraction wanes when you're letting yourself go? If we make an effort to look good, so should you. It's only fair. If you have a fast metabolism, that's super, but if you know you're not looking as hot as you used to when we first started dating you and you say you're going to start working out... You should just do it already. It's not impressive to just hear you say that you're going to do it, you have to actually do it.
"Take her out to dinner and choose the restaurant yourself. Buy her flowers and open the car door for her." I don't think anyone can go wrong with this unless you're dating a feminist.