As I am a mini expert on women, I've compiled a list of things they like and dislike. I call myself an expert because I've been raised by women all my life, having a single mom and matriarchal Grandma. Then there's the experience of being in relationships with women, followed by listening to their stories. I also go to a woman's university as part of the 12% male population. Needless to say, I'm surrounded by them and as I have a very observant nature, I'm pretty good at recognizing how they feel.
Anyways, the lists below are meant to be satirical and maybe half serious. Enjoy. The focus is on women 18-26.
What Women Like-Compliments, that's a no-brainer.
-Chocolate, or other various sweets.
-Attention. This does not mean to constantly pamper them, it also entails listening.
-Winning arguments.
-Back massages,sometimes brushing their hair if you have the right touch.
-Bread, even though the carbs are the bane of their existence.
-When you hold their hair back for them when they drink too much and vomit.
-When you bring condoms, followed by KY Jelly.
-Michael Phelps...
-Flowers.
-Equality.
-when you cook for them, if you are good at it.
-Nicknaming your penis...
-Oprah (over generalizing statement).
-Cheesecake.
-Make up sex.
-When you shave and groom yourself.
-Clothes...nuff said.
-When you give them space, but answer their calls.
-When you paint their nails, if you don't suck at it.
-When you don't climax in five minutes.
-Dancing/singing when nobody is around.
-Respect.
-spooning, followed by necking.
Things women dislike/hate
-Giving birth, especially if the baby's daddy has a big fucking head.
-Absentee fathers of their said baby.
-When you take a shower with them and you pee in the drain.
-When you fart in bed.
-Hair in their food.
-The way your penis looks after sex.
-When you squeeze their breasts the wrong way.
-Motor boating.
-Screaming children that aren't their own.
-STD's because you cheated on them.
-Cheaters.
-Guys who don't listen.
-Football, unless she's a sports fan.
-Other women. You know what I mean.
-When you win the argument.
-When you don't give them space.
-When you don't answer their calls.
-Being degraded/objectified.
-Double standards.
-Carbs.
-When you speak for them.
-Forgetting important dates like an anniversary.
-Periods.
-When you joke about their period.
-Whores
-When they have to swallow your cum.
-Roaches.
-Their mother in law, sometimes.
Well that's all for now. Can you think of any other thing women like/dislike? Feel free to point out what I missed. Take care all.
-Owl
Mancouch says: We added the word "(some)" to the title: "What (some) women like/dislike". That's because (some) women go nuts when you make sweeping generalizations about them. Even when it's (usually) true.
Comments (97)
totally true man couch.
we're fickle creatures, and should be treated with much care.
I was not aware it was general for women to name their boy-friends penis. Am I missing a circuit in my brain. I've never given a dick a moniker.
"When they have to swallow your cum." - I can't think of the last time I HAD to. ;}
Hmm, loves chocolate, hates carbs...
Men hate contradictions
@crystal_air@xanga - The what men like/dislike is coming up next. Lol.
@King_of_The_Night@xanga - Is this supposed to be a flipside to Gerald Washington's name of the things we men like and dislike? Anyone remember THAT blog?
@LeMizzMizz@xanga - I KNOW thats rite. lol :D
Owls?
I would also add to the dislike..
--Assuming sht. (e.g., assuming they're on their period when they're not.)
@LeMizzMizz@xanga - I guess I should have wrote swallowing cum. Heh.
@mynameisblueskye@xanga - Who? No, I'm just saying what I hear girls talk about.
@King_of_The_Night@xanga - I'll be waiting!
@colorless_clarity@xanga - Actually my penis has yet to be named. Friends of mine go by skipper and Klondike bar though. =/
@crystal_air@xanga - Then why do most men I know contradict themselves? Hmm (:
@KiraWuzHerexD@xanga - Oh snap!
holy aching shit sticks, no wonder women are so fucking complicated. i've been trying to sort this shit out for 2 years and i still get it all wrong.
@KiraWuzHerexD@xanga - lol touche!
tl;dr: Men, think with your head that is connected to your neck and try to be considerate and you're fine (but always be open for something new and spontaneous)
Women, we can't read your mind, so if you want us to do something differently, then tell us (also, we don't get your hints, clues, nudges, etc. either)
@King_of_The_Night@xanga - Plus, who doesn't like chocolate? Haha! It's a bedroom snack.
I don't mind swallowing &I think girls who do are just bitches, haha, jk.
I do hate my MIL, though :)
haha this is pretty much 100% true!
good observations!
ahahhah nice list.
LOL.
Sucks how you had to add "some" in the title 'cause (some) women are bitches.
Has anyone seen Scrubs? Tara Reid nicknamed JD's penis "little buddy" hahahaha :)
There are some things on here I disagree with haha.
But I agree with 95% of it!
I kind of like how mancouch added "some", saves a lot of drama.
@xjadersx@xanga - Word