Friday, 24 July 2009

  • If A Demon Child You Adopted Murders Your Entire Family, It's Your Own Damn Fault



    The recent release of the movie, The Orphan, has brought calls of protests from adoption agencies and orphanages across the country claiming that it will discourage prospective parents from adopting.

    Really they should be thanking the movie. It's not going to discourage prospective parents from adopting, it's going to discourage dumb prospective parents from adopting, like too dumb to be competent and capable parents dumb.

    All I'm saying is that if you see a horror movie and that makes you decide to not adopt for fear of getting a demon child, well, you probably shouldn't be adopting. I'm also saying that if you do get a demon child it's because you are exactly that dumb and its your own damn fault adopting said demon child.

    I mean, who walks into an orphanage and has all the children swarm up to them excited and adorable and wanting to be adopted, all perfectly caring children in need of a good home and says, "Wow, you all seem all lovely, how are we supposed to pick just one of you .... wait a minute .... what about that one over there drawing pictures of people killing themselves?"

    Adoption agent/Nun: "Oh, her? You don't want her."

    Prospective Parent: "You may be an adoption professional who is specifically charged with getting children adopted and have seen thousands upon thousands of kids pass through here, but I'm going to completely ignore your wisdom and experience on the issue and assume that all she needs is a good home"

    Adoption agent/Nun: "Look, sir, there are plenty of other kids, good kids who desperately need a loving home. If you're looking for something in troubled I assure you we have some that are troubled, but should be straightened out by a loving and trusting environment. This one is different, she is a demon child, please don't adopt her."

    Prospective Parent: "Well, I do see billions of souls burning in eternal hellfire in her eyes, but  just look at all the blood and organs she's adding to those pictures. Awwww, that one looks like me."

    Adoption agent/Nun: "And you don't see that as a horrific warning?"

    Prospective Parent: "Can you tell me more about her?"

    Adoption agent/Nun: "Well, she has a thing for knives ..."

    Prospective Parent: "You mean she throws knives? Hunting knives? She likes cooking?"

    Adoption agent/Nun: "No, she's stabbed several of the other children and the orphanage cat. Three children are currently in the infermary nursing their wounds, the cat is dead"

    Prospective Parent: "Does she like to read?"

    Adoption agent/Nun: "Only things by Aleister Crowley and large tomes with pictographs from ancient languages that cause her voice to get deep as she speaks in tongues."

    Prospective Parent: "Does she have any talents?"

    Adoption agent/Nun: "Mostly throwing things at people with her mind, and causing people's faces and inanimate objects to bleed spontaneously"

    Prospective Parent: "What's her fav ..."

    Adoption agent/Nun: "Sir, she will kill you and your entire family."

    Prospective Parent: "I'll take her!"



    Do people who get murdered by demon children they've adopted deserve it?

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