Hooker pickup lines

Wednesday, 22 July 2009

Hooker pickup lines

My neighborhood is crawling with hookers, for reasons that I've never quite understood. As a result, I've been propositioned loads of times in the last year... especially at night. Usually, the lines lack in subtlety: "Baby, want me to ____ your ____?" (Hint: it's not "wash your car".)

But lately, I've been getting more subtle lines from the local prostitutes... here's a sample:
- "You got a light?"
- "You know the time?"
- "Do you have a smoke?"
My immediate reaction is super smooth: I blurt out a "no", and I immediately walk away quickly. I have this fear if I talk to the prostitute for longer than one word at a time, I'll be picked up for solicitation! I live two blocks away from the police station, so this is more likely than you'd think. I have no idea how so many prostitutes can streetwalk so close to the cops, but maybe that's naive - I bet the cops are in on it.

Anyway these subtle pickup lines have got me thinking. Maybe I'm overreacting and they're not pickup lines at all - maybe these prostitutes are just striking up a friendly conversation and I'm being really rude by just walking away. I'd like to think I'm a friendly fellow, so I'd hate to be rude. Then again, I would really prefer not to be arrested. Or, my real concern: one of the prostitutes will follow me home and cause a scene.

I'd love some advice. Is there any viable alternative to a friendly "you got a light" line from the local prostitutes, other than fleeing as fast as I can in the opposite direction?

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Comments (37)

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say somthing like..."i've no lighter and no money" or "i dont even have enuff money to buy a lighter".
- 7/23/2009 12:16 AM
- raiyaya@xanga (message)
- reply
How about, "Sorry, I don't"?
- 7/23/2009 12:31 AM
- ViciousGrin63@xanga (message)
- reply
I'm not known for friendly remarks, but "Go take your scandalous ass and cancer elsewhere" seems to work just fine where I live.
- 7/23/2009 12:34 AM
- Duke6932@xanga (message)
- reply
why don't you say "yes" and take the hooker home? geeeesh! geekdom.
- 7/23/2009 1:40 AM
- T5421@xanga (message)
- reply
act like you didn't hear it at all
- 7/23/2009 1:49 AM
- yourblondeness@xanga (message)
- reply
Here's a dumb pick-up line. Lmao

Hey baby... Did it hurt?

???

You know, when you fell down from heaven.

lol
- 7/23/2009 2:09 AM
- Jackassbobby112@xanga (message)
- reply
If you're rich enough, take her to your hotel and... oh wait. I think I'm suggesting something that will only work for Richard Gere. Well darn.
- 7/23/2009 2:16 AM
- B2yan_C@xanga (message)
- reply
Mention something about a gay pride parade as an ice breaker.
- 7/23/2009 2:20 AM
- mycontinuity@xanga (message)
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@mycontinuity@xanga - ROFL. I think I like yours the best! =]
- 7/23/2009 3:08 AM
- Tracy_tragedy@xanga (message)
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Hehehe. "Sorry I don't have any money?"
- 7/23/2009 3:34 AM
- miss_prettyinpink@xanga (message)
- reply
how about

FUCK OFF MY NUTS, BITCH!!!
- 7/23/2009 4:01 AM
- immaairheadxl@xanga (message)
- reply
The "say no and go away in the opposite direction asap" way seems to be working fine..I'd just keep doing what you're doing.
- 7/23/2009 4:04 AM
- Debs38@xanga (message)
- reply
@mycontinuity@xanga - What if the hooker or prostitute just happens to be gay or bisexual?
- 7/23/2009 4:59 AM
- mynameisblueskye@xanga (message)
- reply
Maybe... if you do have a light, give her a light. But then make a comment like, "Yeah.. I've really gotta go now though. Have a nice day!"

Haha.
Aww, wait.that's sad! "Have a nice day!" I don't know about that. But something...like..that....er..
- 7/23/2009 5:05 AM
- ThisGirlCouldUseALittleSting@xanga (message)
- reply
i think they want .. to ask you for likee something & then give u them dirty lines ;)

haha , lmfao MOVE !

or just be like .. err no thanks ..

nothing much u can rlly say ..
- 7/23/2009 5:29 AM
- Emawlee@xanga (message)
- reply
we used to live in a down town urban area, and my husband was walking upstairs from his car to our loft when some lady came up and was like, "can I get a ride? I just live around the corner." and since it was like 30 degrees outside he took pity on her and decided to give her a ride.
So he gets in his car and calls me to let me know and then I hear him start yelling at her to get out of his car. Apparently she thought he wanted a favor in return for the "ride". hahahaha
needless to say we moved shortly after.
- 7/23/2009 7:37 AM
- confessions_of_V@xanga (message)
- reply
@mynameisblueskye@xanga - Then you can still say you aren't interested and have been with your "partner" for awhile.
- 7/23/2009 9:36 AM
- mycontinuity@xanga (message)
- reply
Cupid is cruel

just smile....and maybe you will make a new friend! Shelby Stone......Cherry Picking Time.....A1AdultEbooks.Com
- 7/23/2009 1:54 PM
- Shelby_Stone@xanga (message)
- reply
just talk to them,
prostitutes aren't hustlers.
If you say your not interested..
i'm sure in most cases they wont push for it.
there's plenty of other men for them to get work from.
- 7/23/2009 2:31 PM
- thehighbreed@xanga (message)
- reply
Just say, "No, sorry," smile, and walk away. I don't think your reactions now are too terrible. If the woman who asked you is a prostitute, then she won't care. She'll just go ask someone else. If she isn't, she'll either think "Strange lads in this town..." or she will understand.

No worries.
- 7/23/2009 2:41 PM
- turn_about_the_room@xanga (message)
- reply
Just say I like being STD free.
- 7/23/2009 2:48 PM
- Neowind@xanga (message)
- reply
@mycontinuity@xanga - LOL! I love it. xD
- 7/23/2009 3:40 PM
- Littoface@xanga (message)
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Just simply say no. It's not a big deal.
- 7/23/2009 4:24 PM
- WhenHateIsTheOnlyOption@xanga (message)
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add a sorry after the no.
- 7/23/2009 5:05 PM
- benjaminlin@xanga (message)
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Knowing me, when strangers talk to me I end up stumbling on my words...so I'd be like "ummm... uhh.. no sorry...." then I'd walk away.
- 7/23/2009 5:27 PM
- xjadersx@xanga (message)
- reply