Wednesday, 22 July 2009

• This is "EXCUSE" JEOPARDY!

  Don't ask me what made me think of this. I guess this is just how life feels sometimes.

  THIS IS...
  
  EXCUSE JEOPARDY!!!

  Alex Trebeck: Welcome back to Excuse Jeopardy. Let's take a look at our scores. Mitch is currently in third place with $300, Carl is in second with $500, and our returning champ Dave is in the lead with $2100. Dave, you have control of the board.

  

  Dave: Okay Alex, I'll take Work/School for $400.

  Alex: You fell asleep the night before your term paper was due and only finished half of it...
  Dave: What is slip the janitor twenty bucks to tell your teacher he accidentally locked the locker room yesterday before you had a chance to get your books out?
  Alex: Correct! Pick again.

  Dave: Let's try Wife/GF for $400.
  Alex: The two most convenient places to be when your cell phone conversations start dragging on
  Dave: What are in a tunnel or in an elevator?
  Alex: Right again.
  
  Dave: Let's stay there for $500.
  Alex: And that is our Daily Double! (Pause for golf clap from audience)
  Dave: I'll wager $2000 Alex.
  Alex: Alright, for $2000. It is the worst thing you can tell your woman when trying to explain why you don't want to have dinner with her family.
  Dave: (Pauses for dramatic effect.) What is the truth?
  Alex: The truth it is, well done! (Pause for another round of applause)

  Dave: Friends for $500.
  Alex: It's the last person your friends want to hear about when you are telling them you can't come out.
  Carl: Who is your old lady?
  Alex: Glad to see you are still alive Carl. Correct.

  Carl: Misc. for $100.
  Alex: You run into your pastor at the supermarket and he asks you why he hasn't seen you at church.
  Carl: What is I've been volunteering to coach little league on Sundays for handicapped kids in Brooklyn and I've been going to the church in that neighborhood while doing so?
  Alex: Correct again Carl.

  Carl: Misc. for $400.
  Alex: You are a black man and you have just been pulled over for speeding. What do you say?
  Carl: What is I didn't know I couldn't do that?
  Alex: Judges? (Carl is denied by the judges and no one else buzzes in.)
  Alex: Carl that would have been correct if you were a white man being pulled over, but as the clue specifically said "black man", the answer we were looking for is "what is I am screwed." Carl you still control the board.

  Carl: Mom/Dad for $300.
  Alex: Mom wants to know why you still haven't found a girl to settle down with.
  Dave: What is I just haven't found a girl that can live up to the type of woman you are yet Mom?
  Alex: Spot on!

  Alex: And the last clue of the round. It's who you always pretend to be when the credit card company calls.
  Dave: Who is my roommate?
  Alex: Another brilliant round for our defending champ Dave. Back after these messages.

  • 11:14 AM
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