I'm not sure how it was instilled me to judge character based on a person's handshake firmness, but I have, ever since I was about 10 years old.
I think my uncle, "Tio Cruz" as he became known around the family, might have had something to do with it. I had always looked up to him ever since I can remember. To me, he was the epitome of what it was to be a man. Period. ( I grew up without my biological father and lived with a step father that was never really there.) It wasn't until I was around 10, that he started to salute me with a handshake whenever we met. It was always firm, and always lasted the perfect length. (Yes there is also a length quota.) I have had instances where I've met people for the first time, and had whatever chance of them having my respect completely disintegrated by a weak or limp handshake. This is what happens in my mind: weak handshake... everything runs in slow motion... gasp... heart stops beating... dissapointment! It takes a lot from me to gain confidence in a person after that.
It's different for the ladies though, for several reasons. 1, they are gentle 2, most girls would be mad at me if I squeezed them "too hard." 3, most women are accustomed to giving hugs rather than a handshake. I hope that sounds fair.
Anyway, how do you all feel about handshakes and how do you do yours?
Comments (56)
I judge people by handshakes. They've gotta be firm. I'm impressed by a guy with a firm handshake. If it's weak, pfft, see ya.
i give gentle handshakes.. and i don't give handshakes very much. unless i'm meeting somebody for the first time.
Btw- I'm not a germaphobe either!
I can't stand weak handshakes. It bothers the hell out of me.
i do judge people by handshakes. i hate it when they kind of just put their hand out there like a dead fish. shake with some conviction!
wtf is this "girls are gentle" crap?
My handshakes kind of "pop." I give a swift, firm shake and immediately relax a little bit. I suppose I want my handshake to be firm, but I don't want to unintentionally turn it into some childish competition of strength..
@MissPixieGlitter@xanga - for real!
except if they are old ladies....
but really, firm handshakes ftw.
@BranmacFeabhail@xanga - lol, true. the elderly are exempt from my handshaking expectations.
I HATE it when people give you a really weak wussy limp-wristed handshake (women do this all the time!) I feel so icky afterwards...I don't know what it is about it, but weak handshakes from ANYONE are just awful.
I love surprising people with a firm handshake, definitely changes the look on their faces. Handshaking doesn't really happen a lot with me though.
oh boy. I'd be so screwed meeting you as I have palms that are constantly sweaty. (hyperhidrosis) yeah, nasty.
good news though, there is a surgery that should fix the problem. I will get the procedure done in 1 or 2 years when I have enough moneys.
I would not categorize it "plastic surgery" by any means. I would ignore it and go on with my life if it were all possible, but hyperhidrosis plagues your life. Take my word for it and be grateful you don't have to experience what I'm talking about for yourself! :P
A limp handshake turns me off, completely - man or woman; I'm about to be a lawyer, so that may play into it . . .. But still, for me, weak handshake = weak person.
Thanks you guys for the feedback. It seems most of you agree with me. Firm handshakes it is!
Limp handshake feels like they are trying to shove a dead fish in your hand. Add a sweaty palm to that and you've got a winner. My own handshake is firm enough. Some complain that it's too firm.
A strong hand shake is key , but peope do weird things with their hands and I don't know where that hand might have been 5 minutes before so I think I am going to start bowing from now on
Wow I guess Stephen Hawkings is screwed by these standards. What happens if someone wraps their meat hooks around your fingers instead of your palm? It's superficial to judge someone's character on handshake alone.
now thats the truth let them konw ur there but dont try to rip it off i was taught the same way
I like firm handshakes too. I especially despise men who see that you're a woman and then do the limp handshake thing.
@bleujinxpwns@xanga - hmmm, thanks for the input. When I shake a woman's hand, I try to be as firm as I can without actually being firm. Its not on the same level of firmness as I would give a man. I guess I should be an equal opportunity greeter. From now on, both genders will recieve equal firmness!
A handshake is a form of connection, like a hug, but more formal. If it is done wrong, people can think that you do not care. My handshake has a pretty strong grip, but not enough to hurt the other person. I shook hands with a woman who was at a business meeting with me and she told me that I had a very firm, but proper handshake.
Firm handshakes are the way to go!
And very fair, for women. :D
Though, I would believe that even women shake hands rather than hug people when they first meet them.
I will always remember one specific handshake. The man was a retired army Staff Sergeant. I was instantly terrified of him, and I told my daughter to go play because I didn't want her around him. His face looked mean... he looked angry, even when he was smiling. He was huge. Very tall, very wide, but not at all chubby. His hands were huge, just like the rest of him. When I shook his hand my fingers didn't even stick out of the other side of his palm. I expected his hand to crush mine. But it didn't. He was very gentle. He barely squeezed my hand at all. He just kind of wrapped his fingers around my hand and gently shook it. We sat down and were talking, and my daughter came out of her bedroom with a book. She went up to the Staff Sergeant and asked him to read it to her... and he did. He picked her up, put her on his lap, and read her a story. My point is, he was a very nice guy, and I wouldn't have guessed that until I shook his hand. So I would agree that you can judge a persons character by their handshake.
But I don't agree that people with a limp or weak handshake aren't respectable. This man had spend 20 years of his life in the military, had been deployed 5 times, and was highly decorated. He also was very kind and liked children. He was a very respectable man, even though his handshake was weak.
I have to say though, that if you're not a humungous, terrifying man, I would prefer a firm handshake.
I like a just right handshake. I think it conveys sincerity (I hope I spelled that right). People who squeeze hard tell me they're eager, inconsiderate, or trying to convey strength. Those who give the limp handshakes, well, I get the sense that they don't really want to be there or they're uncomfortable with me or themselves. People who have clammy, sweaty hands, I won't fault them for it. Some people just have sweaty palms. Perhaps a handshake is just a handshake, but most managers I've met have got it just right.
I like a real handshake. I hate shaking peoples hands who do the "dead fish" thing. We're shaking hands, not holding hands.
My dad always said to squeeze hard and have a firm handshake, so I do!