"Most excellent show, dudes!" Wayne stood up from the couch, admiring the basement studio he'd built. He was filled with pride and awe at his own awesomeness, especially considering the fact that he was about to go home to the punk-rock Goddess Cassandra. Schwing! He had an excellent night planned: hot wax, ice cubes, some candles, and "Appetite for Destruction."
"Snap out of it, man! We gotta get to the Gasworks before the show starts!"
Wayne turned to Garth, a look of indignation on his face. "Gasworks? Garth, I have a babe-a-licious chick awaiting my return. I'll close up around here and catch you guys later."
Dejected, Garth and the crew turned to leave. Garth turned around before leaving, shaking his head in sadness as Wayne shrugged him off.
Completely alone, Wayne started to clean up the cables scattered around the studio. Humming some Aerosmith to himself, he never heard as the back door was unlatched and opened, nor did he notice that his beloved guitar was no longer on its stand.
A horrifying crunch echoed throughout the basement as the guitar slammed into the back of Wayne's head. Staggering back to his feet, Wayne turned to see a hulking deity of manliness gribbing the carcass of a blood-covered guitar.
"Hail to the king, baby," the man said. "You've been staining the Campbell name for too long, hippie, and it's time to bleach some stains."
Attempting to run, Wayne fell as a bullet ripped through his chest. Standing over the crumpled body, Bruce Campbell laughed maniacally to himself.
Of course, he slipped on his way out of the house and, in a hilarious bout of slapstick comedy, stepped on several rakes and electric wires until he finally returned to his dusty old Chevy.
It's good to be the king.
It's good to be the king.
Comments (3)
No way Wayne would ever have won.
But "Hail to the king, baby" has to come at the end! It doesn't make sense if he's calling Wayne baby, ewwww. Throw in the "this is my BOOMstick" line instead.
Damn skippy ! Wayne was no match for bruce . the man had an entire cabin full of inanimate objects laughing at him and he just laughed back . No compitition
show 'em your GRRRRR FACE BRUCE!