Sunday, 05 July 2009

  • How to Handle Prank Phone Calls



    These past two nights, I have gotten prank calls (from the same person possibly.) Last night I was too oblivious because I was under the influence of a fine plant, but nonetheless tonight I was paying close attention. I have a strong feeling it was just my ex-boyfriend but that's besides the point. If you must answer those unavailable phone calls, here are a few tips and guidelines to follow and keep in mind as you get your ass pranked.

    1. Never hang up on the pranker- I know this may seem weird, but bear with me for a second. If you prank call people and they hang up on you, don't you tend to get pissed off and instead continuously call them back until they answer and succumb to your prank? I know I do. Which is why, the most important thing to do when getting a prank call, is not to hang up on them. You hang up? You lost the battle already.

    2. Pranksters are people too - They're just having fun at your expense. Granted, they're normally a lesser form of human species and are more closely related to the Gorilla family, but they're still some sort of human, so treat them like one.

    3. Always go along with the phone call - Now, if someone calls and asks you if your refridgerator is running, just say "No." they're not creative and don't deserve your time. They'll likely give up after that. But if someone calls and says "You ordered food and you kicked our delivery boy down the stairs and you no pay for food" in some stupid accent, don't just act baffled and try to argue that you don't understand what they're talking about. Instead, explain to them that their delivery boy is a pansy and tried to stick his hands in your pants so now you're suing their establishment for sexual harrassment. (This is proven to work)

    4. Get creative - This is basically a sister rule/guideline to number 3. Be funny and make something up to get them feeling like an idiot for pranking you. Basically, remind them that they're pranking the wrong person.

    5. Speak another language - Nothing annoys a prankster more than someone speaking a different language. I was just speaking gibberish and they got all flustered. It confuses them. Remember that even though they're still human, their brains are less developed and when you fight back, it confuses them.

    6. Have fun - Remember, you were once a neanderthal as well and pranked people back in the day. And don't get too upset when you get prank called. Laugh it off.

    By following all of these guidelines, you should be ready to face your next prank phone call. If all else goes wrong, threaten that you have the equipment to track their phone call and pinpoint their exact location. Or just make sex noises, chances are if they're prank calling you, they're not getting laid anyways and this will immediately make them hang up the phone and reflect at how sad their lives are.

    Happy Counter-Phone Pranking  

    Any points you think I missed?

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