Hear ye, hear ye: we the people of Mancouch hereby list our grievances against the British pigs who terrorize our land with the foul stench of imperialism and tyranny! We have already declared war on such villains as the Lady Gaga, the Brothers Jonas, and the hideous two-faced she-bitch Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus; now is the time to confront our old nemesis:
England! Grievances
1. On the issue of Brainwashing: We hereby demand that the puppet of corruption known as Robert Pattinson be immediately and forever removed from our land, sent instead to toil on an alpaca farm upon the foothills of Scotland. While his living conditions will not be of our determination, we suggest he be shorn of all his filthy, unwashed hair; kept in direct sunlight to correct his paleness; and given only enough bread, water, and sleep so as not to die.
2. On the issue of New England: We hereby declare that New England henceforth be called Freedomland. All of its cities, towns, and villages must henceforth change their names to something devoid of anything remotely Anglican (i.e. Cambridge = Harvardtown; New Hampshire = Little Massachusetts). Should New England fail to comply with these demands, immediate steps will be taken to physically remove her land from the continental United States, whereupon she will be pushed firmly in the direction of her namesake where she can become England's problem.3. On the issue of British Food: We hereby declare all British food banned from the United States. You're welcome. 
4. On the issue of British Spirits: ...if it's already here, we might as well drink it...
5. On the issue of Athletics: We hereby declare Soccer to replace Baseball as the national passtime, if only to piss off the British, who call it "football."
6. On the issue of Culture: Billy Elliot is henceforth banned from Broadway, along with anything written by Andrew Lloyd Weber, Tim Rice, or Elton John. While we're at it, anything by ABBA should probably go too. These are our demands. Should they be met with anything save extreme haste,
we will murder the cast of the Harry Potter movies. Happy Independence Day, Mancouch!Mancouch says: Ok yah, we've been going a bit crazy with the Mancouch wars lately... but come on, this one feels appropriate to Independence Day?
Comments (67)
hahaha I love the British!
wow. i like harry potter though. lol BUT robert pattinson has to go. lol
@soflyyquotes_______303@xanga -
Oh well good then i dont have to waste my energy pointing and laughing
AND FUCK ME WHY ARE THEY KEYS SO LARGE? I'M SOOOOOOO DRUNK!
I cant even type. Boooooo and stuff.
And fuck, who gives a crap? I'm too drunk... Come to Britain and we
show you good time
teehee.
@chadwilly@xanga - you, my british friend, are making no sense... which I presume, would be because you are way too drunk. haha, "AND FUCK ME WHY ARE THEY KEYS SO LARGE? I'M SOOOOOOO DRUNK!" made me laugh.
But IDK, the only time I typed drunk it came out like:
fckkaak wjhed uu gjpoooo?
wherd my <3@!##33 gio?
Good luck with the hangover!
HAHA groovy. I hate it how so many people are infatuated with the british... Like why do you go around where british flags on your clothing if you not from england? No nock on england., there cool with me but more of a nock on lame people from the states who are obbsessed with the british. really grow up... your'e not from england so dont pretened you are...
all in all the british are awesome (my cousin and uncle were both born in england)
its the generic american youth who ruins it all. (although pattinson really bugs me)
oh btw anyone who was to naive to realize that mancouchs post was sarcastic and ment to be that way needs to grow up because it obviously wasnt ment to be taken peronaly. as is my comment
jeeze all these people are flipping out. it's not like any of it is SERIOUS serious. it's all mainly a big joke. ya know.. for LAUGHS??
jeeze people. chill a little.
Emma Watson is HOT.
@soflyyquotes_______303@xanga - The accents on that series of islands just off the coast of Belgium, change every fifty miles or so. I recommend the Geordie accent if you realllllllly don't want to understand a bloody thing.
Whoa okay, British food does not look like that! I'd like to say that traditional British food is waaaay healthier and tastier than what the Americans have invented... sorry, McDonalds? Whose shit idea was that?
Don't forget the language you speak either: it's called English because its ours, you just nicked it, took at some of the letters and changed some of the words.
@Viola_F@xanga - "i'd like to see someone trashing urs for a change "
Consider it done.
@venomxcupcake@xanga - thanks, very well written!
Jesus. Some people can't take a joke.
I'm laughing at all the people who are getting offended by this.
I love Elton John and Harry Potter, along with C.S. Lewis and Jane Austen. I can't say I would support a war with the British.
@soflyyquotes_______303@xanga - Haha, errrrm. Goodness, i only vaguely recall writing that at about 4am... drunk block should be put on my pc to stop me littering the internet with my drunkness, haha.
@chadwilly@xanga - hahah aw no worriess, it was funny.
@Lovegrove@xanga - hah! that's definitely on my list of places to go.
@BFSpirate@xanga - I know, she is gorgeous.
hahhaah this was funny
Haha I'm English and your ancestors were mostly English. Lol!! Your language is just another version of the original ENGLISH language. Oh and the picture of English food doesn't look like anything I've eaten... maybe it's Americans trying to make English food.
This made my heart sooooo freakn glad