Thursday, 02 July 2009

  • Mancouch Calls Out The Hills

    Ok, I'm pretty sure this post is cursed because this is the third time I've written it. Technical issues keep occurring at the worst possible time. So here it goes, hopefully it's up to snuff. Maybe The Hills just got wind of it early and have been sabotaging me. Either way, here we go:




    It's about time some one did something about this. Mancouch is nothing if not a place of war and so I call all you here, my fellow mancouchers .... mancouchians ..... mancoucheteers? ... to arms!

    From this day forward Mancouch.com officially declares war on The Hills!

    I know it's late or whatever and we would have done something about this earlier, but, honestly, none of us really had any clue what The Hills was. We all just assumed it some sort of internment camp for stupids and if we closed our eyes and made loud yelping noises it'd go away shortly. Well, no worries, folks, because we now know that it's an awful reality show on Mtv (it is a show, right?) and we intend to destroy it.

    I think we can all agree this thing is pretty damn evil. The vapidity, valuing of material wealth over all else, the lack of any signs of actual life, the fact that they've somehow convinced media people talk to them so I actually recognize the name Spencer Pratt, etc. Their list of crimes is a long one, indeed. The whole thing is rather surreal. These are clearly not real people (not even their flesh is real), it's as if Mtv cooked up simulacrums in some lab and put them on TV. It was probably the same place they cooked up such monstrosities as My Super Sweet Sixteen. It's as if Mtv's goal is to destroy all rational thought in the Universe and The Hills is their First Strike capability.

    I'm fairly certain none of them have souls. I mean, they can't right? It wouldn't make any sense.

    Oh .... oh no .... look at this Spencer and Heidi are referring to themselves as Speidi now. I think my skull was just fractured by their pure nonsense attention-whore mindless bullshit.

    Oh, look at this ... looks like they've become 9/11 truthers and think that birth control is a secret government conspiracy designed to poison young women and keep the population down. I did not make that up. They actually believe these thing ... well, as much as they're actually capable of truly believing anything. But these are actual thing they say they believe.

    These people are just awful in every way.

    Will you join us in our war on The Hills?

Comments (32)

  • Choose Identity

  • Give eProps (?)

  • New! You can now edit your comments for 15 minutes after submitting.