I'm really happy that we've started calling "pop stars" out. First, I singled out Lady Gaga, and then Lil_Dude433 declared war on the Jonas Brothers. I like where he was going with that, and so I plan on launching an offensive on the Disney front. Our next target:
The prepubescent platinum-selling pop pygmy, Miley Cyrus.
Listen, I understand that the Mancouch audience is not the ideal audience for this "music." As a 20-year old guy, I'm far from the key demographic (but apparently, I'm Miley's ideal type for a boyfriend. Sweet statutory, Batman!). With that said, that's no excuse for this Hannah Montana business to be so unbelievably popular. I just don't understand it.
Anyway, I'm adopting Lil_dude's format, because I like it so much. Here we go:
LYRICS
The chorus of Miley's hit, "See You Again," goes like this:
"The last time I freaked out I just kept lookin' down I st-st-stuttered when you asked me what I'm thinking 'bout Felt like I couldn't breathe You asked what's wrong with me My best friend Leslie said, 'Oh, she's just being Miley."
What in the world does "just being Miley" entail? I couldn't just walk around, saying and doing ridiculous things, and justify it by saying, "Well, my best friend Charlie said, he's just being Jim." Best of all, unlike the average pop song, with this one, we can actually blame Miley. She's writing the vast majority of this crap herself.
VOICE
You'll only have to watch about ten seconds of this before you realize what I'm talking about. Miley is a chipmunk. I vaguely thought that she looked like a chipmunk anyway, and this was before she spoke. The voice only confirms it.
FAMILY
As some of you may know, Miley Ray Cyrus's father is Billy Ray Cyrus. Billy Ray holds a very important distinction: he has the most redneck name that has ever existed. But Billy Ray wasn't quite done: he also created the most redneck song that has ever existed too, "Achy Breaky Heart."
The Cyrus family should have been stopped fifteen years ago, long before Diana Louisiana. THIS WAS A TERRIBLE OVERSIGHT.
THIS:
I understand that on any given day, thousands of girls are taking Myspace photos like this (and worse). However, because Miley is, like, soooooo popular, I had to deal with this for far too long. Cringe. We can put this one right alongside of her high school grad photo... when, you know, that happens, in about five years.
Obviously, there's more, but reasonably, I don't have all day to talk about this. My head would explode. Even mentioning "Achy Breaky Heart" brought a few tears to my eyes. Which of the Mancouch wars do you support most so far: Lady Gaga, the Jonas Brothers, or Joanna Indiana (or whatever her name is)?
if you watch hannah montana, you would know "just being miley" is her other personality... her non famous one haha.
i hate miley, but she's not prepubescent, and i think she graduates before 5 years. =P XD
@emmaleaaa@xanga - I kind of agree with you, most of the stars that are getting complained about here are not really for this target market. Especially the Disney stars, the Disney stars are marketed more towards kids and their parents. It's fine if you are annoyed but that doesn't mean that any of the groups are completely awful. They're making money and they are popular with their target audience, when that is over they'll be over. Until then I think the best idea is to change the channel, switch the radio station, and just in general ignore them. Also be thankful they're not Brittney Spears and NSync (I think Miley and the Jonas brothers are an improvement).
okay not that i like/dislike miley, but the lyric part is more coherent than the jonas brothers quotation of the lyrics...
and with the billy ray cyrus thing, come one =p achy breaky heart is the mosta wesome song ever. almost every wedding reception has line dancing in it! haha! it's awesome XD.
sure miley's speaking voice is like a raspy and sounds kinda guyish, but i think she at least can sing better or at least in more keys than hillary duff's 3 notes.
the down side to miley for me is how she personally attacks selena and demi on youtube. it's really of low character and then she tries to play it off as a parody/flattery thing where its actually a mockery. then again they're like fresh out of junior high so, whatever.
as for the myspace picture...yeah.... since she's professional, she coulve uploaded professional shots. not than i'm a fan of lindsay lohan, but she has awesome pictures on her page. granted she doesnt look like her pictures on that page anymore..
Miley, I iz gonna keel you. I srsly controversially will.
Miley is just the worst. She only perputates the belief that all girls need to be made from a cookie-cutter image before they're worthy of popularity or acceptance. I can't stand her.
Okay, the Jonas Brothers take a close victory in the UTTER HATE category... but Miley is half an inch behind them.
If it wasn't illegal, I swear.... *resisting the urge to use the nearby AWC G2 sniper rifle*
Not that I like Miley Cyrus all that much, but if you're going to try to make fun of someone, at least be witty.
They're all horrid celebrities, but Miley Cyrus has a special place of hatred in my heart . . .
Disney can sell anything. Absolutely ANYTHING and stars like Miley Cyrus are proof. No acting talent. No singing talent. And, really, she's not much of a looker either. How she makes millions, has her own little empire buidling and thousands, millions of little zombie teeny-bopper fans I will never know.
I'm all for calling out stars but lets keep them 18+
Comments (88)
if you watch hannah montana, you would know "just being miley" is her other personality... her non famous one haha.
i hate miley, but she's not prepubescent, and i think she graduates before 5 years. =P XD
@emmaleaaa@xanga - I kind of agree with you, most of the stars that are getting complained about here are not really for this target market. Especially the Disney stars, the Disney stars are marketed more towards kids and their parents. It's fine if you are annoyed but that doesn't mean that any of the groups are completely awful. They're making money and they are popular with their target audience, when that is over they'll be over. Until then I think the best idea is to change the channel, switch the radio station, and just in general ignore them. Also be thankful they're not Brittney Spears and NSync (I think Miley and the Jonas brothers are an improvement).
@aznspartan94@xanga - Omg, that would be amazing. Can't wait til then.
okay not that i like/dislike miley, but the lyric part is more coherent than the jonas brothers quotation of the lyrics...
and with the billy ray cyrus thing, come one =p achy breaky heart is the mosta wesome song ever. almost every wedding reception has line dancing in it! haha! it's awesome XD.
sure miley's speaking voice is like a raspy and sounds kinda guyish, but i think she at least can sing better or at least in more keys than hillary duff's 3 notes.
the down side to miley for me is how she personally attacks selena and demi on youtube. it's really of low character and then she tries to play it off as a parody/flattery thing where its actually a mockery. then again they're like fresh out of junior high so, whatever.
as for the myspace picture...yeah.... since she's professional, she coulve uploaded professional shots. not than i'm a fan of lindsay lohan, but she has awesome pictures on her page. granted she doesnt look like her pictures on that page anymore..
http://paulslittlesecret.xanga.com/706247577/you-dont-have-to-be-ashamed-anymore/
Miley, I iz gonna keel you. I srsly controversially will.
Miley is just the worst. She only perputates the belief that all girls need to be made from a cookie-cutter image before they're worthy of popularity or acceptance. I can't stand her.
Okay, the Jonas Brothers take a close victory in the UTTER HATE category... but Miley is half an inch behind them.
If it wasn't illegal, I swear.... *resisting the urge to use the nearby AWC G2 sniper rifle*
Not that I like Miley Cyrus all that much, but if you're going to try to make fun of someone, at least be witty.
They're all horrid celebrities, but Miley Cyrus has a special place of hatred in my heart . . .
Disney can sell anything. Absolutely ANYTHING and stars like Miley Cyrus are proof. No acting talent. No singing talent. And, really, she's not much of a looker either. How she makes millions, has her own little empire buidling and thousands, millions of little zombie teeny-bopper fans I will never know.
I'm all for calling out stars but lets keep them 18+
Miley is still a child.