I'm really happy that we've started calling "pop stars" out. First, I singled out Lady Gaga, and then Lil_Dude433 declared war on the Jonas Brothers. I like where he was going with that, and so I plan on launching an offensive on the Disney front. Our next target:
The prepubescent platinum-selling pop pygmy, Miley Cyrus.
Listen, I understand that the Mancouch audience is not the ideal audience for this "music." As a 20-year old guy, I'm far from the key demographic (but apparently, I'm Miley's ideal type for a boyfriend. Sweet statutory, Batman!). With that said, that's no excuse for this Hannah Montana business to be so unbelievably popular. I just don't understand it.
Anyway, I'm adopting Lil_dude's format, because I like it so much. Here we go:
LYRICS
The chorus of Miley's hit, "See You Again," goes like this:
"The last time I freaked out I just kept lookin' down I st-st-stuttered when you asked me what I'm thinking 'bout Felt like I couldn't breathe You asked what's wrong with me My best friend Leslie said, 'Oh, she's just being Miley."
What in the world does "just being Miley" entail? I couldn't just walk around, saying and doing ridiculous things, and justify it by saying, "Well, my best friend Charlie said, he's just being Jim." Best of all, unlike the average pop song, with this one, we can actually blame Miley. She's writing the vast majority of this crap herself.
VOICE
You'll only have to watch about ten seconds of this before you realize what I'm talking about. Miley is a chipmunk. I vaguely thought that she looked like a chipmunk anyway, and this was before she spoke. The voice only confirms it.
FAMILY
As some of you may know, Miley Ray Cyrus's father is Billy Ray Cyrus. Billy Ray holds a very important distinction: he has the most redneck name that has ever existed. But Billy Ray wasn't quite done: he also created the most redneck song that has ever existed too, "Achy Breaky Heart."
The Cyrus family should have been stopped fifteen years ago, long before Diana Louisiana. THIS WAS A TERRIBLE OVERSIGHT.
THIS:
I understand that on any given day, thousands of girls are taking Myspace photos like this (and worse). However, because Miley is, like, soooooo popular, I had to deal with this for far too long. Cringe. We can put this one right alongside of her high school grad photo... when, you know, that happens, in about five years.
Obviously, there's more, but reasonably, I don't have all day to talk about this. My head would explode. Even mentioning "Achy Breaky Heart" brought a few tears to my eyes. Which of the Mancouch wars do you support most so far: Lady Gaga, the Jonas Brothers, or Joanna Indiana (or whatever her name is)?
YAY! looks like someone else out there almost dislikes miley cyrus as much as me! her name isnt even miley, it's "destiny hope" like can you get anymore redneck? she just recently legally changed it to "miley ray cyrus".. sounds like someone has a fetish with their father..
pshh I LOVE MILEY CYRUS!!!!!!
Watch David Lynch's "Mulholland Drive" to see Billy Ray Cyrus get the shit smacked out of him.
I love lady gaga. She's bizarre but you gotta admit she's a good performer. ANYWAY.
I don't really approve of putting down any performer like you are. Because obviously, they are doing something right. And I'd do anything to be any one of them. hahaha. I'm just saying. If you don't like their music don't listen to it, babe.
....That being said...Miley Cyrus is really untalented. Like, REALLY. But that doesn't stop me from screaming to "the climb" every time it comes on the radio. Awww yeah.
I love all these mancouch wars. I've been waiting for a Slutty Cyrus one (kudos to Perez for the name). Mancouch, you're amazing.
Haha I love this post :) I don't mind Miley, but I mind her voice, it just annoys the hell out of me.
Gaga and Jonas I can understand if not entirely enjoy myself- but Miley can choke on a cherub for all I care.
Even though she is very annoying, she is still very attractive and i would destroy her.
can't stand miley, or the jonas brothers. annoying shits. lady gaga is talented though. i can handle her. definitely not miley though.
Billy Ray might not be the most redneck name in the world. I used to have 3 step-cousins, who were all girls, and their names are Billie Jo, Bobby Jo, and Tammy Lee.
and Miley Cyrus can NOT sing
@emmaleaaa@xanga - the only thing she's doing "right" is being semi-hot, slightly slutty, and pretending to be a pop star and actress, causing other pre-pubescent girls to go gaga over her.
not just a chipmunk. a male chipmunk with messed up vocal cords. her voice annoys me to no end.
'Oh, she's just being Miley.
" Seriously, you've never heard of that phrase? Where have you been?
And if you're gonna bash Miley Cyrus, stick to Miley Cyrus. Don't bring her dad into it.
I cannot say anything about the picture. I guess I agree with you on that. I don't agree with the NONcelebrity girls that do it. Miley should never have done that, knowing that millions of girls would see it. The picture kind of makes me sick.
I support the Lady Gaga war, because at least the Jonas Brothers and Miley Cyrus aren't singing about sex. Love Game is SO vulgar. eww.
Hate Miley Cyrus. Annoys the shit outta me.
hahahahahaha. she definitely must be doing something right, I see her face everywhere throughout Wal-Mart...
I definitely hate her though. =)
i believe that miley cyrus is just a little attention whore who all of a sudden got famous and then decided to be as slutty as she can be and thinks she could get away with it.......lol............sad, desperate, and pathetic in my opinion.....
i never saw that picture!
I like lady gaga the best of the three. she earned her fame, unlike all of the disney rock-star wanna-bes. she makes quality songs and even if she has a weird fashion sense so does a lot of other singers and they're really really good.
The picture literally made me gag. Seriously. Her excuse for it was "I was attempting to form a much older audience" WTF?!
This could never happen. I never heard of 25+ year olds who were like "OMGZ LEIK I LUFF MILEYZ SHE ISH SU KWEL!" Never. But sending half nude photos like that lost some of her younger audiences respect as well. Nice job miley, untalented AND a young slut. Can't wait til she has pictures of her getting out of a car with her legs open in a skirt (paris Hilton thing) or the times when she shaves her head ;D mmm glamorous
Well I dont listen to her songs, or watch her shitty show, nor have i ever seen that picture (which is disgusting, isn't she like 12? Way to get old creepy men after you.) so i cant say much about her. Although from what I have seen, I haven't liked.
@ToxicSweetners@xanga - Omg.. why do celebs do that?!? Why cant they just admit what they did was wrong instead of making themselves look like idiots. yeessh what a h-bag.
Girl cannot sing. I am sad that her new song "the climb" is sung by her. It is actually a good song, just paired with a TERRIBLE vocalist.
@will - he's in that? dunno how i missed it. though i guess the fact that i haven't spent much time memorizing his mug gives me partial cover...
Lady Gaga is the shit. She does not deserve to be compared to Jonas and Miley. THey fail. Lady Gaga is great and i'm gonna be right behind her. :]]
Comments (88)
YAY! looks like someone else out there almost dislikes miley cyrus as much as me! her name isnt even miley, it's "destiny hope" like can you get anymore redneck? she just recently legally changed it to "miley ray cyrus".. sounds like someone has a fetish with their father..
pshh I LOVE MILEY CYRUS!!!!!!
Watch David Lynch's "Mulholland Drive" to see Billy Ray Cyrus get the shit smacked out of him.
I love lady gaga. She's bizarre but you gotta admit she's a good performer. ANYWAY.
I don't really approve of putting down any performer like you are. Because obviously, they are doing something right. And I'd do anything to be any one of them. hahaha. I'm just saying. If you don't like their music don't listen to it, babe.
....That being said...Miley Cyrus is really untalented. Like, REALLY. But that doesn't stop me from screaming to "the climb" every time it comes on the radio. Awww yeah.
I love all these mancouch wars. I've been waiting for a Slutty Cyrus one (kudos to Perez for the name). Mancouch, you're amazing.
Haha I love this post :) I don't mind Miley, but I mind her voice, it just annoys the hell out of me.
Gaga and Jonas I can understand if not entirely enjoy myself- but Miley can choke on a cherub for all I care.
Even though she is very annoying, she is still very attractive and i would destroy her.
can't stand miley, or the jonas brothers.
annoying shits.
lady gaga is talented though.
i can handle her. definitely not miley though.
Billy Ray might not be the most redneck name in the world.
I used to have 3 step-cousins, who were all girls, and their names are Billie Jo, Bobby Jo, and Tammy Lee.
and Miley Cyrus can NOT sing
@emmaleaaa@xanga - the only thing she's doing "right" is being semi-hot, slightly slutty, and pretending to be a pop star and actress, causing other pre-pubescent girls to go gaga over her.
not just a chipmunk. a male chipmunk with messed up vocal cords. her voice annoys me to no end.
"
Seriously, you've never heard of that phrase? Where have you been?
And if you're gonna bash Miley Cyrus, stick to Miley Cyrus. Don't bring her dad into it.
I cannot say anything about the picture. I guess I agree with you on that. I don't agree with the NONcelebrity girls that do it. Miley should never have done that, knowing that millions of girls would see it. The picture kind of makes me sick.
I support the Lady Gaga war, because at least the Jonas Brothers and Miley Cyrus aren't singing about sex. Love Game is SO vulgar. eww.
Hate Miley Cyrus. Annoys the shit outta me.
hahahahahaha. she definitely must be doing something right, I see her face everywhere throughout Wal-Mart...
I definitely hate her though. =)
i believe that miley cyrus is just a little attention whore who all of a sudden got famous and then decided to be as slutty as she can be and thinks she could get away with it.......lol............sad, desperate, and pathetic in my opinion.....
i never saw that picture!
I like lady gaga the best of the three. she earned her fame, unlike all of the disney rock-star wanna-bes. she makes quality songs and even if she has a weird fashion sense so does a lot of other singers and they're really really good.
The picture literally made me gag. Seriously. Her excuse for it was "I was attempting to form a much older audience" WTF?!
This could never happen. I never heard of 25+ year olds who were like "OMGZ LEIK I LUFF MILEYZ SHE ISH SU KWEL!" Never. But sending half nude photos like that lost some of her younger audiences respect as well. Nice job miley, untalented AND a young slut. Can't wait til she has pictures of her getting out of a car with her legs open in a skirt (paris Hilton thing) or the times when she shaves her head ;D mmm glamorous
Well I dont listen to her songs, or watch her shitty show, nor have i ever seen that picture (which is disgusting, isn't she like 12? Way to get old creepy men after you.) so i cant say much about her. Although from what I have seen, I haven't liked.
@ToxicSweetners@xanga - Omg.. why do celebs do that?!? Why cant they just admit what they did was wrong instead of making themselves look like idiots. yeessh what a h-bag.
Girl cannot sing. I am sad that her new song "the climb" is sung by her. It is actually a good song, just paired with a TERRIBLE vocalist.
@will - he's in that? dunno how i missed it. though i guess the fact that i haven't spent much time memorizing his mug gives me partial cover...
Lady Gaga is the shit.
She does not deserve to be compared to
Jonas and Miley.
THey fail.
Lady Gaga is great and i'm gonna be right behind her. :]]
JONAS BROTHERS are the worst in my opinion.