Tuesday, 30 June 2009
-
clubbing woes
when a girl is eyeing you at a club, it's most likely due to one of five things: (1) she has a lazy eye. (2) she's actually checking out the dude behind you. (3) she's trying to pinpoint where she's seen you before, because you just have one of those "i fucking KNOW that guy" faces. (4) she wants you to think she's interested so she can sucker you into buying her and her friends some drinks. (5) she actually IS interested, and is inviting you over to chat her up and maybe dance.
(Ed's note: get it? They're holding clubs... clubbing... wokka wokka?)
when a guy is eyeing you at a club, it's also likely due to one of five things: (1) he's so shitfaced he can't even stand straight, and just so happens to be facing in your direction. (2) you're both wearing the same goddamn shirt. (3) he's trying to pinpoint where he's seen you before, because you just have one of those "i fucking KNOW that guy" faces. (4) you're dancing with his girl and he's just waiting until the bouncer passes by so he can pound your face in. (5) he's gay. and he likes what he sees.
of course, if you're a chick then he's probably looking at you for entirely different reasons, or should i say, "reason," singular: (1) he's undressing you with his eyes, because he wants to sex you. (2) he wants to buy you a drink get you drunk. so he can sex you. (3) he wants your number, so maybe later he can sex you. (4) he wants to dry-hump....ERRRrrr....freak dance you, so he can get a better feel for what it's like to sex you. (5) simply put, he really just wants to sex you.
yeah, yeah... most guys are douchebags and are just looking for an easy lay. and guys at the club are always the sleaziest, right? but c'mon ladies, we're not ALL like that! in fact, although you seem to refuse to believe it, can't you just TRY entertaining the thought that perhaps there is actually a SIXth reason why some of us might look your way? "and what's that?" you might ask. it's quite simple, really. i'm like you, i just came to dance.
the problem is, clubbing is not the same for me and you. while it's perfectly acceptable for you to blissfully dance the night away with a circle of your girls, what do you think people would suppose if i did the same with my boys? nothing good can come from a sausage fest. and... i mean, i'm always down to dance by myself. i've been known to bust out the choreo routine i learned in my weekly hip hop class (yup, that crazy asian dude doing the omarion is me...), but the fun in that can only last so long...
so girls, where does that leave a guy like me? is it SO terrible that i want to dance with you? is it SO terrible that i want to dance with your cute friend? it's not like i sneak up from behind and start grinding my junk on you. that's not my style. and it's not like i'm trying to hit on you. don't flatter yourself. in truth, i don't want your number, i'm not going to buy you or your friend a drink, and i definitely don't want to take you home. all i want is your company on the dance floor until this next song is over, and maybe for awhile longer if you dance well. *note: licking your lips, running your fingers through your hair + down my chest, and giving me the "look-at-me!-i'm-eyefucking-you-don't-you-want-me-so-baddd" look is NOT dancing well. sorry. actually, that's not dancing at all.
so when i politely tap you on the shoulder, and mouth "would you like to dance?" is it really necessary for you to give me the one-two head-to-toe check out, then completely unwarranted look of disgust? is it really necessary for your designated cockblocker to rush over and herd you away all-the-while giving me the "pullleasee, not in your life-time" look, when a simple "no thanks" or "maybe next time" would suffice?
i mean, i've long since learned not to take any of this personally, but i'd be lying if i didn't admit it's always a slight blow to my ego. i've always thought i'm decent looking with disarming boyish charm. well, i guess i thought wrong.
-
recommend
- recs 1
-
share
-
email
- sent 0
Related Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to mancouch's Mancouch Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in mancouch's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: BUONGlORNO@xanga
- Name: BUONGlORNO
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 1 Views: 0 903 Comments: 0 28 View all posts by BUONGlORNO@xanga
Comments (29)
Where are guys like you? I can't find them due to all the stereotypes you mentioned being completely true.... >.<
I respect you for actually asking the girl instead of just grinding your junk right ahead. Grind-aheaders = Freakozoids.
LOL i just meet weird perverted weirdos in clubs
If you were a chick, I'd dance with you (If my wife said okay). Sorry, that's the best I got for you.
aww! seriously, where are the guys like you? i like your type; too often i come in contact with the type that thinks it's ok to just randomly grind from behind.
I'm with InTheThin. I have yet to be approached by a nice guy who just wants to dance. Sure they say they wanna dance but I kinda find that hard to believe when the guy has a stupid grin on his face, is rubbing his hands together and licking his lips ( that only works for LL Cool J) while talking to my chest, and his buddy is waiting just behind him with an equally stupid grin in antcipation of his getting shot down.
Where can I find guys like you that arent those who are sterotyped *wink*
if it makes you feel any better, i woulda danced with you =D
@thats_not_my_name@xanga - hahah, you put it so well. i think every girl has been there :D
dont go to clubs go to funerals. ;)
Dude wow I totally understand... it really does suck when you're the only guy on the dance floor that just actually wants to dance for fun.... I usually just end up attracting attention to other guy dancers to start up a little competition.. =\
I don't go to clubs but even at a festival I had some sketchy ass dude grinding on me without my permission. Really, grinding to bluegrass / funk isn't my style, grinding actually isn't my style at all, especially while my boyfriend is standing right next to me.
It would seem those who just want to dance are few and far between. I think I've met one in my entire life. I love dancing,, just dancing, and I feel like I have to have body armor on when I go out to dance because of all the sleazy guys out there. If there are decent, singularly dance minded men out there I would love to be dancing with them, just have to find them first.
Oh man.. I never really had the opportunity to play in "da club", but I have to admit I'm not too broken up about it. I'm sure I would've had loads of fun, but I don't feel too bad about it. It just seems so exhausting, and more-so for the men. I do not envy men and the pressures they have. I'd say you are very reasonable about the whole thing and I completely understand your feelings. I hope girls will be nicer and that you have fun! Great read!
hmm.
not much to say, i've only gone clubbing once, and i met a freak who saw me and smiled like he wanted to sex me from behind...*barf.
but i honestly wouldn't mind someone who just said, "would you like to dance?"
i'd probably say "yes!
"
ill dance with you! lol
Hey Mancouch,..
I'm really lovin' these articles of yours man. I'm gonna have to find sometime on the weekend just to sit down and look through all your articles and put in my 2 cents worth :) - it'll be a full day activity for me I reckon ;)
Keep up the get topics man. Well done.
Mark
it's true, this really is an ongoing problem on the bar/club scene but, in my experience, the girls who can actually dance will often be down to kick some moves (even though i don't really have any).
this reminded me too of asking a girl in a group about a month back if she wanted to dance with me and my group of friends. she said i was really cute and was flattered, but she had a boyfriend. excuse me, did you hear what i said? this exhibits perfectly your assertion that girls always expect all you are looking to do is with hook up with them. in their defense, whenever any girl comes up to me in a similar scenario i assume they pretty much want to hook up with me.
time to start your "dancing only" club.
And why can't guys understand that girls aren't going to clubs looking for a quick hook up or free drinks?
Aw that's a nice post. You'd be a good guy to meet at a club.
I never thought of that before, the whole girls can dance together forever and have fun, but the guys are left with nothing to do. Double standard.
haha. Hope your blog helps you with finding girls to dance with!
i've never gone clubbing, but maybe i should. i usually just go to bars that have bands playing at them where you pay like $8 to get in.
Awww where you at homie! I'm totally down to dance with a guy just for the sake of dancing (:
I actually find it really flattering when a guy comes up to me and asks to dance. Don't give up asking ! Not all chicks in the club are snobby hoes like the ones you came across !
LOL! GOOD READ!
lol wow racist. "asian guy next to me dancing the omarion?" you implying asians can't dance? haha
i have to say though it's kinda inappropriate to be rubbing your genitals together if you know, the girl is... you know... TAKEN. no offense or anything i mean dancing is cool, but it's just you know, rubbing your genitals together in the fashion that animals usually perform intercourse. i mean, totally cool, yanno? /sarcasm
thats how i roll, this is also why i dont go clubbing, only private parties with lots of really fun gay boys and nice people :)