Fashion 
I can tell you right now that whatever these guys are wearing will never be popular. They look like two year old girls who couldn't figure out how to dress themselves. "Real men" will never understand stuff like this. Real men wear the same pair of jeans over and over and over again. Hell, I've been wearing this pair since March and it doesn't have pink polka dots all over it. Also these guys need to eat a burger. Or three.
Why we're going bald 
Sure my dad was bald, but he was an asshole. I'm a pretty nice guy, so why is something sucky like this happening to me? How am I supposed to pick up the 20-somethings at the bar when my wife is out of town, when there's a bright spot on the ceiling where my scalp is reflecting the lights behind me? I'd shave it all off but then I'd have to work out constantly for about two months because the only people who look like they're supposed to be bald are named Vin Diesel. Oh well, I guess this is what baseball caps are for.
Politics 
Here's why real men don't understand politics: when our car breaks down we get out the tools we need and we FIX IT. We don't worry about whether our actions will annoy PETA or the pharmaceutical companies, we just get it done. Politics is pretty much the complete opposite. Every action is motivated by something else, no one is telling the truth, and nothing gets done. Real men only understand things in terms of polarities - awake or asleep, winning or losing, hungry or full, broken or working. This is why we hate politics. Politics is always somewhere in the middle. Politics is always "in the process" of doing something. Real men don't understand processes. We just get it done.
Other drivers 
Why did you cut me off just to drive slower than me? Why are you going 43 in the far left lane? Why are braking at a green light? Why are you driving if you can't see over the steering wheel little miss great-great-grandmother? I just want to get where I'm going and you're in my way. Stop it. The world would be so much easier if real men were the only drivers on the road. That means the only people allowed to own a license should be meat and beer-loving males between 18 and 55. Anyone else can take the bus.
Women 
Let's face it, everything I just described relates back to women.
- Fashion - Women are into it.
- Why we're going bald - Who decided that baldness was unnattractive?
- Politics - Nothing is straightforward? Every action is motivated by something else? I think I just described every woman ever.
- Other drivers - Everyone knows that women are pretty much considered the worst drivers ever. So it should be obvious that "other drivers" pretty much just means all women.
Why are you asking which dress I like better if you're just going to choose the other one? Why are you asking me if you look fat in that unless you want an honest answer? Women are the most confusing and complicated beings on the planet. Anyone who says they undserstand them are completely insane.
Comments (54)
Hahahahaa. This is funny.
I don't understand men.
Yeah... I don't think men are supposed to understand fashion. Hell, I barely understand fashion. Some of the things that are in style are so ridiculous. Anyway, women are complicated. I don't even understand myself... I'd hardly expect someone else to understand me.
I concur.
That's the only "For Dummies" book that you will never see. They need encyclopedias, dictionaries, guidebooks, even an atlas.
@xkthily@xanga - lol this post just shows that the feeling is mutual. hehehe
100% agreed. Only I'm not going bald :)
if "real" men don't understand politics, why is it the majority of politicians are men? just goes to show you why things are so messed up. Hilary should've won :)
I think popular fashion is all about a popularity contest. That's why I tend to not buy into fads. They'll just be "out" in a couple weeks anyway. I prefer to stick to things that are classic and simple. I think guys can relate to that.
hahaha. some things are just complicated.
xo
@wonderland7386@xanga - the poliltitions out there are not real men, man or women, they are self rightious, spineless, bastards that lie there into power so they can steel your money, and as for women politions i would much rather vote for condalisa rice rather than that psycho cunt hilary
that first picture made me puke a little
haha love it :)
@testerdre89@xanga - Actually, I don't understand the first picture. lol and I don't understand men in skinny jeans either.
this is more light-hearted than the other ones, but can we stop with the stereotyping posts?
Women envy me, just because I understand men.
And Women dont confuse me.
Men are not hard to understand.
#1. Most women don't understand fashion either.
#2. Bald can be very, very sexy. (Just not on my husband please God?)
#3. I'm not touching that. I work in a government office!
#4. Have you ever driven in Michigan during a blizzard? Yeah, "other drivers" are the idiots in 4 wheel drives that think they can still go 70 mph with six inches of snow on the highway on zero visibility. Yeah....guys.
#5. Have you ever noticed how many girls had mostly guy friends in high school? Yeah, we don't get each other either. It's okay, really. There are times when I don't understand myself, so my husband gets cut a LOT of slack!
1: The fashion thing is true. The biggest thing onthe runway are hardly ever worn. If we see things in stores, we wear it, but it's notgoing to turn heads.
2: It does seem a little bit awkward if you are going bald on the top, but some women like it when a man is completely bald. Well, when you fit the description of tall, toasted and handsome.
3: I never thought about it that way. But all of us are kind of impatient with politicians sort of lying their asses off.
4: If you think the drivers are bad, in Boston, the pedestrians don't give a care. They just walk in the middle of a person a few feet away. They force them to stop.
5: Men not understanding women? Yeah, I can see that.
@wonderland7386@xanga - Dadgummit, you are right, aren't you? Well, there was Condoleeza.
Those clothes are ugly haha.
90% of drivers are horrible
I'm happy I don't ask the "do i look fat in this?" question. It's so lame. If you think you look fat in something don't wear it haha.
I am a girl, and I don't even understand girls. At least I know not to do my makeup while driving. Who would think that they can do that? Stupid people!
I like the hat in the middle picture,and the pullover sweater on the right, not the cardigan over it. What guy wears a cardigan??
AHAHAHAHA i love men.
real men just don't understand period.
@xkthily@xanga - Exactly what I was thinking...
Well said Pat, well said.
Well said. I'm a female and I don't even understand women. Lesbian fail, that's why I consider myself asexual. xD
Shoot those men in the first picture, they look AWFUL.
-Kunoichi