According to reports,
Robert Pattinson was hit by a taxi in New York City yesterday, proving that even the adoration of millions of teen girls won't stop a Manhattan cab driver from running you down.
"Would you fuck me? Cuz I'd fuck me."
Apparently, Mr. Perfect was running across Broadway in Union Square in order to flee the endless gaggle of tween devotees. Working on a new movie about young lovers which will do incredibly well despite the likelihood of it sucking, the young "Twilight" star has been hounded day and night by fans trying to catch a glimpse of that flawless smile.
Much to the relief of his fans, the "actor" is on his way to a speedy recovery. According to New Yorkers, Pattinson deserved it for
running across Broadway to avoid a fucking teenage girl.
Mancouch asks: is it bad to feel a little bit good about someone getting hit by a cab? I mean, he wasn't hurt or anything... and besides, he's immortal right?
"Would you fuck me? Cuz I'd fuck me."
Comments (92)
hmm fer some reason.. dont seem to have a prob with it
Har. My goodness.
that's beyond hilarious.
I'm totally disappointed.
Hahaha This is brilliant!
LOL, he's definitely immortal--and sparkly too! That's why the cab driver didn't see him.
I don't get it. He's not that good looking and he has a disgustingly huge forehead. Ick. Sorry he got hit but he's nothing to gawk at, really.
I thought he could stop a speeding vehicle with a mere wave of a hand. Oh wait. That was Edward Cullen. Drat.
handsome ....
Still trying to figure out what the big deal is with him, no one noticed him when he was in Harry Potter (I think), so what's the big deal now?
LOL!
This post is AWESOME. Kudos, mancouch.
i sort of respect him a little after that E! interview, but still, all i can say is that it probably pays the bills and lot's more for the time being
[also one prop for the film still going as planned]
lol
he'll be fine. immortality.
what happened to the taxi?=)
@Veiled_Reverie@xanga - I agree he's not that great looking. He totally ruined Edward Cullen for me.
And fans like those make normal people who enjoyed reading the book ashamed to say they like Twilight. I wish the fan got run over instead...
Nah; I can think of one or two people hearing that about would make me smile.
hahaha.. Mean!
i heard he hates washing himself.
gross.
Why wasn't it a bus instead of a taxi?
Oh dear.
Haha! He's not even that great looking...it's just because he plays the role of Edward. Go NYC taxis! I mean oh goodness, is he alright? :P
How did the tazi guy miss all them sparkles?
Now, I know I wrote the post but I've been thinking about this question. I think the answer's there in the question: BECAUSE he wasn't hurt, we can laugh at him all day for being such a prick. If he HAD been hurt, we would blame the girls for obsessing over him and the media for not leaving him alone, et cetera et cetera et cetera.
Truth is, what the hell is a vampire doing out in the middle of New York City...DURING THE DAY??