Getting to Second Base

Monday, 08 June 2009

Getting to Second Base
I've never understood what the various bases stood for... so this xkcd comic cracked me up:

I still wasn't precisely sure what second base was after reading the comic... so I looked it up on Wikipedia:

Mullaney reports the idea that the introduction of oral sex is in fact a "new teen model", that is replacing the "traditional base system", in part as an "unintended offspring of 'abstinence-only' education". In this new model, sex acts, including many that were not included as part of the traditional "base" system, are classified in a wholly different way. The acts that count as "sex" are distinguished from those that do not count as "sex" according to whether it is possible to become pregnant from them. Thus oral sex, anal sex, and "a variety of other acts" are reclassified in the new model as "not a big deal" and "part of the realm of abstinence". Mullaney states that "obviously, not all teens subscribe to this revised model of classification".

If sex doesn't count if you can't become pregnant from it, I guess that means gay people never have sex. I don't know who Mullaney is, but s/he doesn't really seem to know what they're talking about.

Here's how the base system works, in my simple head:
1. First base: Kissing
2. Second Base: Under shirt
3. Third Base: Oral Sex or Manual Stimulation
4. Home Run: Sex
Time to ask something scandalous. When was the first time you got to first base?

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It was the same time as the first time I experienced everything else, unfortunately.
- 6/8/2009 10:47 PM
- steph@datingish (message)
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I guess I just have to raise my batting average, run scored, RBIs and HRs.
- 6/8/2009 10:57 PM
- kachino@xanga (message)
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-________- lol, dang, i'm still on the bench, warmin it up.
- 6/8/2009 11:03 PM
- msarianne@xanga (message)
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Anal sex - Foul ball, HA HA HA.I was actually 17 for first base.Oh, and that binary bit is "Base 2"... perhaps explaining why my 1st kiss was when I was 17.
-Andrew
- 6/8/2009 11:04 PM
- TransportPhenomena@xanga (message)
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13 at the end of a school dance. It was pretty awkward.
- 6/8/2009 11:12 PM
- SliverLines@xanga (message)
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wait...you just made this ten times more confusing :D
- 6/8/2009 11:13 PM
- noree_n@xanga (message)
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I got to first base when I was a freshman in high school. :P
- 6/8/2009 11:15 PM
- mIss_shOrtY503@xanga (message)
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never :D
- 6/8/2009 11:17 PM
- my_secret_diary_xx@xanga (message)
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8th grade with my first boyfriend who stayed that way for two years.
- 6/8/2009 11:20 PM
- spanz@xanga (message)
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First base freshman year of college LOL I was 18.
- 6/8/2009 11:34 PM
- tastytimmm@xanga (message)
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...too old to admit online.
- 6/8/2009 11:37 PM
- Insomnia_Pickles_XtraTomato@xanga (message)
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i was a late bloomer, i didn't get to 1st base until i was 16. i was always a tomboy and boys were never really interested in me because i was "one of the boys" until i had boobs.
- 6/9/2009 12:06 AM
- mewithoutu77@xanga (message)
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@msarianne@xanga - your not alone. I sit next to you.
- 6/9/2009 12:07 AM
- sissydesarie@xanga (message)
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Shrug. Not yet.
- 6/9/2009 12:14 AM
- benshee@xanga (message)
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Well my first real time getting to first base was in grade 9. Haha.
- 6/9/2009 12:37 AM
- xjadersx@xanga (message)
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8 years ago.
- 6/9/2009 12:48 AM
- mayanao@xanga (message)
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My first time getting to first base and second base was 8th grade. Then there was a very long time out...I think there is still a time out actually. haha
- 6/9/2009 12:53 AM
- kaylamae31@xanga (message)
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Um... is there a too young to get to first base? >_> hehe
Or....not. She kissed me, I just kissed back was all. lol
And I think the teens usually try to just roll all over the field all in ten minutes.
- 6/9/2009 1:46 AM
- naguyin@xanga (message)
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I was like 17... ya a little old but whatevs..
- 6/9/2009 1:51 AM
- quotes3085@xanga (message)
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haha i'm 19 and i haven't gotten to any of those "bases".. and i don't feel like playing. haha :D
- 6/9/2009 3:03 AM
- cherrie_heart03@xanga (message)
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15 at a Homecoming dance with my now ex-boyfriend. Yep, our relationship died around the boring zone.
- 6/9/2009 3:11 AM
- xa06@xanga (message)
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16 i think? lol.
- 6/9/2009 4:07 AM
- yourblondeness@xanga (message)
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I have to second the motion that Mullaney doesn't know what he or she is talking about:

"Mullaney reports the idea that the introduction of oral sex is in fact a 'new teen model', that is replacing the 'traditional base system', in part as an 'unintended offspring of abstinence-only education'."

Excuse me? Show me an example of an "abstinence-only education" curriculum that teaches that "oral sex" is not "sex" because I don't believe any such thing exists. I submit that children will get more encouragement to have oral sex from the traditional "condom on a broomstick" sex education than from "abstinence-only" sex education, because traditional sex education concentrates upon preventing pregnanacy rather than trying to talk children out of it.

Frankly, IMHO any recent increase in oral sex among school age children could be a lot more plausibly blamed on a recent POTUS who once beat a perjury rap on the theory that oral sex is not sex and his supporters at the time who at least pretended to believe him.

Thanks a lot, Bill.
- 6/9/2009 7:08 AM
- FredTownWard@xanga (message)
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i was 13... tehe.... i hated kissing when i first tried it ha a i thought it was gross :P
- 6/9/2009 10:05 AM
- makea_wishh@xanga (message)
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The easiest way to remember the base system is the four Fs. French, feel, finger, fuck. Those are the bases.
- 6/9/2009 12:36 PM
- pandapanda2@xanga (message)
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