Friday, 05 June 2009
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I Have Enough Woman Friends
I don't know about you, but these days, I tend to spit with booger-lacing intact on a woman's attempt at telling me she would rather be friends with me, if I have a thing for her, especially if it is after the breakup.
(Ed's note: this picture was added by Mancouch haha)The thing is I had an epiphany that a man CAN have too many women friends. I personally don't have enough guy friends. But more on that later. I have been friends with girls all my life, even the ones with whom I told out loud that I had a thing for. And I knew the whole situation with woman friends. Once you are in love, you can't do it. They don't really realize that when a man finds something so special, the last thing he wants to do is lose you. So, they tell you they have more than a thing. And saying that you just want a friendship is shooting down his advance to be friend and a lover, too.
After that, there is no friendship, because they like you. That's it. Once they know that special thing and you have it but won't start it with him in life, then he's done. He has given up. Maybe it can be friends after a bit of solitary time, but it is never as easy as you think. And saying that some woman will be lucky to love him one day can be a bit like twisting the knife. After all, the truth is he has already had some women friends and knows EXACTLY what kind of woman he CAN be friends with. All he needs to really make her see is to say this: I have enough woman friends. I just want you as more.
I personally have beef with just being friends anymore, because the last thing I ever want is to date somebody random, or to get another friend. I have had so many woman friends in my life, I don't even have enough guy friends here on Xanga. The only one who are able to have more woman friends without complaints are (truth be told) gay men. It gets annoying for a while.
So, I say this: anytime a girl I really like tells me we are better off friends, I just walk out without their friendship. Like I have alway stressed, when one has a thing for each other, it doesn't get as easily back to good as you think.
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About the Author
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- From: mynameisblueskye@xanga
- Name: Chris
- Location: Boston, Massachusetts
- About Me: African-American man (Scorpio, Dragon, Left-Handed) I love music and fruitful conversation. That may be all you need to know. Anything else you want to know, talk to me on AIM or Yahoo. Take a look at my profile to find out what the AIM and Yahoo! are. I also have a policy for adding people. I check your profile, read your blogs, and maybe look at your photos, and then add you. IF you have friends lock, please send me a profile or a sample of your blog to be added.
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Comments (25)
SO TRUE. I have had this situation way too many times. From my experience, girls just really dont understand how hard it is to be friends when you like them. They think its al fine and dandy, while your heart is dying on the inside. Then you look like a dick for telling them you dont want to be friends... W/e, you have to do what you have to do.
I still wonder how some guys can get past the friendship zone after a few years with some girls and start dating them-and even marrying them-because that definitely has NOT happened to me
@dragon_king@xanga - It can happen if the girl has always liked the guy and just never said anything about it, plus in this economy if you're making the $, the girls will flock to you for a ring!!! haha jk
It's a sucky situation, that's for sure. Both of those, actually; the unrequited love, and the excess of female friends.
But friends are friends, man; don't turn those down. Don't turn your back on someone who cares about you just because she doesn't want to be "something more."
This happens to the ladies as well. I have/had guy friends whom I have/had feelings for. They all know/knew about said feelings. It doesn't hurt any less whether you're friends or not.
i'm the opposite, even if it didn't work between me and a guy friend, i'll still remain friends just because sometimes it's better just to remain friends than strangers.
@mewithoutu77@xanga - I agree. For me, there was always something better about keeping in contact or some (even if really odd) form of a connection.
man females are just lame period. I mean they are a good cure for blue balls but thats about it.
They want their cake and they want to eat it too. Damn gluttons.
I hate the friendship zone. It is never fun.
no be a man and walk away because if you like the broad and she wants to be your friend thats just lame Id rather be a stranger than a novelty lap dog.
I think girls a lot of times face the same difficulty but keep telling themselves "if I change then maybe his feelings will too." At least a lot of the ones I know. It isn't a good thing. But neither is completely losing a friendship. Lose-lose situation, I guess?
I have too many female friends and wish I had more guy friends as well. The problem is that the guys I meet always seem to want more. :-/
And then when there's a guy I like, it tends to be someone who doesn't even seem interested in friendship. That's just too bad, because I think I'm a pretty awesome person.
My hat goes down for you while you preach. I can also agree that one guy can have too many friends of the opposite sex. Going for lunch, dancing, drinks or even watching a movie- there is a lady friend I can call that would be down. Don't forget the ones that knew that you had a thing for them, they know you now on an emotional level. Stay friends long enough and you'll soon be confiding in each other, without the sex. I have enough lady friends... just STOP! Haha! I'm kidding I enjoy making friends, it doesn't matter the sex. On the brighter side of things the friendships are genuine and sincere. For what I get back is what I put into the friendship.
It is what it is.
A friendship can last forever.
I said that all the time when I was single. Plus as a guy, there's really only so many girls that you can actually hang out with. I think I have more female "friends" than I do male friends, but I see my boys on a much more consistent basis and I'm 150x closer with them than I am with my female friends. There are a few girls who I'm very close friends with, but on the whole, I would say 95% of the girls who are my "friends" are essentially names on a Facebook "mutual friends" list or numbers in my phonebook.
You can't force someone to be attracted to you. If you want to throw away friendships just because you can't have your way (i.e., have sex), that's your loss.
but what about when you've been friends for a long time, both have a thing for each other, and the girl wants to go out, but the guy just uses lame excuses even though he tells her that he loves her more then anything?!
@quickxsavexme@xanga - Then that dude is just messing around. Why is he making excuses, if he wants you?
@LadyLibellule@xanga - My sort of mentality fromexperience is that once a man starts to take a liking in you, it's not for nothing. They can try to subside it, but that one special thing about a woman can ruin that subtle friendship. The only way to destroy that crush is if you do something subtly disturbing that'll make him think otherwise. THAT is why some men get shallow.
That's really dumb..... What if she's taken?
I would never want to lose any of my guy friends for such a silly reason.
I concur.
@la_faerie_joyeuse@xanga - That's the thing. If she was taken, then that's it. But if you fell for her and she is taken, then you got yourself in quite a dillemma. haha! But say if that whole time one asked her, she was single.
wow its the same way with me, except other way around. i find guys so much easier to get along with. i have tons of guy friends, but definitlyy not enough girl friends =/
My female friends outnumber the guy ones by at least 3-1. I wouldn't say no to a couple of them, but I know some of them want more than I do. Saying that, I think it's just human nature to like the opposite sex more...
@Lucid_Dreams_and_Sunsets@xanga - I still can't get the point of that cliche. "Have your cake and eat it, too." It's their cake, right?