Saturday, 30 May 2009
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My dad refuses to wear pants...
The cloud of rude that surrounds my household is large and fluffy indeed. It was only a few hours ago that I witnessed a sight that I have witnessed for 18 years...my father, exposed in all his fruit of the loom glory.
Ever since I can remember, my Dad has walked around in his underwear...there are pictures of me sitting in my pajamas and my father drowning in his blinding white XLs. Disturbed? Feel free.
It has recently come to my attention that this is not normal. I was talking to some friends around a lunch table a while back, and some rambling required a description of my household...I didn't fail to describe the man who wishes to be called "Papa" in his underwear, ass to the couch. One of my friends recoiled in horror, another turned red and giggled and I, clueless needed to know..."What's all the hubub, Puff?" (Spongebob) I know it sounds weird that someone has to tell you that it's strange, but once it was brought to my attention, I rapidly became uncomfortable and uneasy.
A few months ago, I started to discourage this behavior, especially when I noticed my brother (10 on Monday) repeating the same offense...offensive! When I confronted my father about this, he took it in good stride... sort of. In one ear, out the other... to prove my point that it was wrong, and how uncomfortable I suddenly began to feel...you know, seeing my overweight 53 year old father near nude, (this may sound sick to some of you, but I didn't get "most dramatic" in high school for nothing) whenever I saw my father without pants on, I simply just unbuttoned my own pants and let them drop to the floor. "There, how does that make YOU feel?" I asked him, a smug smile plastered on my face. His response? VOMIT! ... and then padding away in his knee high socks and underwear with a blue stripe across the waistband. Damn him...
So... his most recent offense? I was going upstairs tonight *because we live in a tri-level and I'm on the tri of the levels - aka The Tundra because it's so dang cold!* and when I went to the twin level (2 - living room), I saw my father, laying on the couch, in his underwear with a blanket draped over his...his...almost like an aged cherub, so I asked him, "Are you posing for a picture?" ...he rolled his eyes.
I find my situation comical and frustrating all in the same...well...I guess I'd better go. End rant I suppose - the racoons are in the garbage again, I hear them - those seed barrel gluttons. Time to pull them out...
Point of the matter - gentlemen...when you're married with teenage daughters, button, zip and tie the strings. Hmmm...I wonder what mancouch would say to that?
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About the Author
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- From: colormethespian@xanga
- Name: Allyisa
- About Me: I'm a college freshman at UW-MWC who loves life, senses of humor and people that attempt good grammar!
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 3 Views: 0 1677 Comments: 0 91 View all posts by colormethespian@xanga
Comments (48)
at least he has on underwear. i refuses to wear any :D but yeah..that's a bit disturbing. yuck.
My father does the same thing.
Imagine how I felt as a 19year old girl.On many occasions he would even be nude coming from the bedroom to the bathroom.
ugh.
i rekun if they guy iz cute itz cool
O.M.G! My father does this too! Granted, he's starting not to because we now have little kids coming and going, but still! I thought it was normal, but then a while ago I was just like uhhh, yeahhh, I'm a teenager now, and this is not right.
Like, even if he put on shorts, it wouldn't be so bad... Ugh and whenever someone else is coming into the house, we always have to be like, 'Uhh, go put on pants please.'
I'm so afraid one of these days my sister or I is gonna see waaay to much of something we don't EVER want to see (another O.O omg moment.) It's so gross and annoying!
It's like the Dane Cook joke:
"As my dad got up, his bath robe flew open and I saw his cash and prizes. I was traumatized as he quickly covered it back up. But then he said something to me that kinda gave me hope. He looked at me and said, "Someday, this will all be yours."
HA! you'll find your never alone on that subject.. thanks for bringing back the ... memories?
my grandpa was like that up until death, and the most messed up part was it would be like the same 3 pairs because there was a hole in one of them and the other two were stretched out...lol...
Rec0mmEnd ...
lol its his house but try laughter and old age jokes bout skinny legs... kindly... embarrassment usually works. lol take out cell and snap pic fer yer friends to see yer father (not really but he dont know that).. might make a difference...
My dad is sometimes in his underwear when I'm at his house. I don't really mind. My ex-boyfriend's dad used to walk around in his underwear when I went over his house. Now imagine how weird THAT was.
What is really disturbing is that some guys will answer the door in their tighty whities. I deliver and have to look at some old geezer in those things with a big old pee stain while he signs for his parcels.
I have kids. When they got older, I got P.J.'s. It's ok when they are little. But when puberty hits and they are painfully aware of dad's manhood. It's way past time to spare them the sight.
Kids want to see mom and dad as mom and dad. None sexual and decent. Most of us.
@kassieisradxO@xanga - ha ha - yeah...that'd be really awkward...and how ballsey (ha!) of your ex's dad... There's no way I'd do that if I was him.
@husbandofawife@xanga - Thank you, and you are so right! I'd prefer not to see my father's junk...if only he'd conform to the trend of pajamas...I doubt it, but I'm moving out in July so I only have to bear it for a little while longer. *And you're right, pee stained geezers answering doors is more than wrong*
My pops does that, too.Don't let your friends fool you. It's their dads that are unusual.
omg. my friends dad used to do that, except he was NAKED...and had NO problem walking around the house COMPLETELY in the nude when I (or anyone!) else was around!
Needless to say I spent minimal time there as I find it mildly offensive.
I guess feel lucky that he does at least have SOME clothes on. I would give anything to return those mental images. (Mind you this man was quite chubby, and covered in hair everywhere but his head).
To argue the other side however, Sally Mann, the photographer, is amazing--and her best work is of her family, nude. Children, husband, and self.
@colormethespian@xanga - Nice pun ! lol
But seriously, he'd walk around, gut hanging out, beer in hand, with nothing but his boxer's on. It's the best when he answered the door for me.
@kassieisradxO@xanga - Yikes...twisted indeed.
my dad does this...but at least when we have people over he wears pajamas or pants!but he kept doing it when my little brother was growing up and now he is 15 and hes doing it too and he refuses to wear pants when people come over!
@scrawnyjohny@xanga - lol, thank you for the clarification, I'll try to remember that. @thinkpinkpanther@xanga - That is gross!!! ...I can't imagine the emotional trauma you've been through...your poor friend! Okay...so maybe I don't have it as bad as I thought!
@kassieisradxO@xanga - Lol my boyfriends dad walks around with his pants unbuttoned all the time! It's sooo weird!
if a man isnt allowed to not wear pants in his own home, then where the hell is he allowed to?!
@weirdlyspazoid@xanga - amen, man!
I don't really find it offensive at all. if the only thing I have to do all day is relax and put pants on there's no way in hell I'm doing that. I hang out at home in my boxers. I've seen several of my friends parents do the same even if my own father never did. I'm comfortable in boxers and I'm sure I have no friends who haven't come over and seen me in just those. maybe that's extreme, but some men just don't like pants. isn't this mancouch? someone's gotta back me up here. chilling at home in boxers ftw!