the difference between a woman who means alot to me, and one who doesn't depends on whether she loves me unconditionally. that will be the woman i bring home to the parents. that's the one i will love, care for, and respect. the one who becomes my wife.
i could care less about other women's desires to sleep around or not, unless they're my friends.
it is pointless to introduce a "f'buddy" to my mom, pastor, or anyone else i know. a woman is considered a f'buddy if the only thing she has going for her are her looks, and she's horny all the time.

F-buddy is any girl that will put out.

The take-home type is a bit more rare and complicated.  She has to be smart enough to hold a conversation, but not too smart as to come across as a stuck-up know-it-all that alienates everyone else.  She also has to look pretty, but not so hot that it will give your dad a boner, but cute enough so they won't be disappointed in you.  Also, she must have a good family (with both parents still alive and together), but not too wealthy to make your family feel uncomfortable, but not too poor so they won't be disappointed in you. 

i can go on, but then I'd have to charge.

I agree with the second comment, a guy is either gonna cheat or not cheat, it usually will have nothing to do with the girl he's with, and everything to do with what kind of person he is. So...how to define a girl that is "wife worthy"...kind of hard really. First of all, physical attraction is a big part of it, I don't care what anyone says, it is. But past that, there just needs to be an emotional connection, we'd have to agree on certain things such as moral issues/religion, but if there's no connection it simply won't work out. Most times its inexplicable, it's impossible to explain WHY you love someone, you just do, it's a culmination of so many things it's impossible to put into words without cheapening it. You get butterflies in your stomach when you so much as hear their voice, and you want to spend every moment of every day with them, if I ever find a girl that makes me feel like that, and she feels the same way about me then that is the girl that is "wife worthy" for me (sorry for the sappyness).

honestly..it doesn't matter who you are or what ya look like...it matters how you carry yourself, how you view yourself inside. any woman that cares about who she is and is healthy being such..likes who she is and is comfortable with who she is we will look at a second, third, forth, and eventually a marrying time. try this simple thing..stand up straight, square your shoulders, chest out..not exaggerated k but decently out, smile and walk out of the house /apt ..walk down the street and honestly simply care about yourself as well as others.. think that, be that and then see how people see you... lol go ahead and dont believe but still give it an honest try...

From they way you write this blog, you think it's a particular characteristic of oneself that can be changed in order to escape this fate.  However it's not something you DO to get out of this trap.  Sure, one can be less slutty, go to the gym and lose 15 pounds, or achieve a higher degree, it really doesn't matter.  What does matter is that the girl know what her RANGE is.  Yes RANGE, I believe girls who end up being the f'buddy are girls who over shoot.  Most "girls" however fall for this trap, because they go out to bars and clubs and they all think they're hot shit, cause numerous guys will hit on them.  However unless you're morbidly obese or heinously ugly they'll have scores of men hitting on you, only furthering this delusion.  

For instance, I have a friend who i consider a 7.  Yet she thinks she's a 8 or a 9, sometimes 10 when fully intoxicated, yet she'll chases guys who are 8 and 9s (physically and intellectually).  Of course these guys are going to show interest, however they're never going to love her.  She continually chases, and time after time gets dissapointed.  She's still single and 32.  

I've dated plenty of women that I would never take home to my mom, personally because we weren't equals, and yes guys date alot of women they don't consider their equals, if you're a f'buddy you're NOT an equal in my eyes [F'buddies i tell stories to my friends, relationships I don't].  However these girls were soo up in cloud nine they don't realize they were overshooting.  Sure it's dishonest to lead them on but hey it's dating, all fun and games.  Life is tough get over it.  But these girls knew what they were doing, they probably passed over on some douchebag who would "treat them right" in order to be with me.  Girls NEVER look at this perspective, they always complain about the asshole who jerks them around.  Therefore, I say THEY DESERVE what they get.    

It's not about settling for something less, it's more about self evaluation of oneself.  
Perhaps the next time a girl wonders why she's continually turned into a f'buddy maybe they should look back at themselves and realize that they shouldn't over shoot.

What a great post!.. I'm sure other women would really appreciate honest perspectives from men as well

i'll start off by saying this... just be yourself. if you spend your time trying to be what you think men want, you'll never find someone to love you. when you meet someone special you just know. more often than not you'll be surprised that the person you fall for is nothing like the ''type'' of person you thought you would fall for, if that makes any sense.  real men aren't out looking for the ''next piece of ass'', they want that relationship with someone who makes waking up each day worth it. the problem is that you can't predict when that is going to happen, or who with, so men go play the field until they find someone who really makes them wanna settle down.  every person is different so what one man is looking for might be totally different than what another man is looking for. because of that, there really isn't a concrete answer to any of your questions.  trying to explain what men want is like trying to explain why anyone would like brittany spears, because its beyond human comprehension and understanding.

There are many approaches to dealing with rejection depending on who it is coming from.  For starters-we need to change some common beliefs that we might have.

bullshit.

there are no pretty women that can't find a man.  period.

they can have PLENTY of men.  but they are probably ludicrously picky.

and it all boils down to something like that - are you trying to play in a league you don't belong in?

if you aim a level lower, it's easy pickin's.  if you aim at your level, you have even odds.  if you aim a level higher, it doesn't matter if you're a boy or a girl, you're in for not only a rough time of it but a life of heartache after.

you're attempting to write checks your ass can't cash and that will eventually catch up with you... that's why it makes no sense trying to be something you are not - you won't be able to keep it up and either you'll snap or the other will.

the notions of "levels" and "value" is indeed different for men than it is for women.  what men value is blatantly obvious unless you're an idiot.

what women value is different... but that hierarchy of rating men still exists.

you ask that pretty woman what she wants in a man and if you cut out 9/10ths of the bullshit and get at what she's REALLY looking for, you'll understand why she can't find someone.  she's aiming too high.

as for the fat chicks, what kinda guy does she have?  likely it will be obvious that either he's using her as a stepping stone or transition p*ssy or there's something that puts him at a lower rung (if he's not out and out, dead obviously of a lower rung).  and there are overweight chicks that can be sexy... i'm not talking out and out obese but a bit overweight... especially if she's voluptuous, busty and curvy.

dumb chicks - if she's hot, there's your answer.  you think it's hard for a hot dumb chick to find guys?!
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as for what you bring home to your parents, as long as it's not obvious that she works in the sex industry (even though she does), she's good to go.... (and many times even if it is obvious).

especially for women, this shit is not rocket science.  just be hot.

jin

Looks are important. I wont lie. I have to be physically attracted to the person, but I prefer a "cute" or "elegant" quality in a long term partner rather than "hotness". The innocence and elegance go along with the personality and work together. If, as a man, you cant see your partner beyond their physical description, then its likely that neither is right for the other.

Looking at women who are trying to be "hot", I think physical attraction and sex drives are more prominent in the initial courting. If after a few months a serious personal bond has not developed, this person is clearly not a good match and not worthy of being taken home.

And I definitely dont think that a F-Buddy can evolve into a loving relationship. I'm definitely of the opinion that having many partners erodes the perception of love and should be avoided. I'm traditional. One of those annoying people... Getting in to a loving relationship for the long run requires a much more well-rounded and personal starting point than just looking for sex.

As has already been stated, I would agree that a potential marriage candidate must be the equivalent or better than the guy's best friend. Shared interests and similar personalities. Of course, in this, each and every person is different and will look for different things out of a potential marriage, but if assuming that they are looking for "true love", then I think that all of these things are necessary.

I like girls who have a good level of self-respect. Someone who doesn't just crawl into bed with anybody just because she is lonely. Somebody who has her own views and is different from other women, but not so different that makes her odd. Honestly, I don't really care how attractive they are as long they give they understand and care about others. If i had to live 5 years with someone who don't have any of these qualities, I might actually question whether this is someone I can pick up
anywhere. Of course the looks (boobs included) are a bonus, who wouldn't want to wake up with a sleeping beauty sleeping right beside him.

I'm pretty picky when it comes to girlfriends. She doesn't have to be perfect...just close to it. F buddies are mainly there for the f. Unless I somehow father a child with her, I'm obligated to take care of the kid with her. Until then, the only thing I would care about is the f part to gratify some pleasures. As for introducing to the parents, I would obviously be introducing someone special whom I took time and effort to find.

It's like the saying goes...something about fish in the sea (I forgot). But the fact is, I don't want an ordinary bass, tuna, or halibut. What I'm looking for is the rainbow fish.

For starters I just got out of a year long engagement with a woman I would still marry. She up and decided she wanted to date around for a little while and whatever else, so it ended.

Apart from how amazing she made me feel and her beauty, why I asked her to marry me was this. Before we even started dating we had a talk about what we wanted in our lives. We wanted a lot of the same things and we shared the same views about a lot of things like religion, family, love.

I knew I was going to marry her after a couple weeks. It want just that things were new and exciting, she made everything better. It took her a little while to warm up to me, but when she did it was like something just clicked. I don't know how to explain it but it was the best feeling Ive had in my life. When I looked at her I saw her as something more, she could be my wife, the mother of my children, my best friend. Her smile melted my heart and cut right to the core of me.

So not long afterward I asked her to marry me and she said yes. Every day got better, even the most mundane things were a pleasure with her. She made me want to be the man I knew that once day I would become. I looked in her eyes and I knew that I was loved.

I dont think I will ever find anyone like her again.

As for a woman you want to only have sex with, she would most likely not have anyhting to offer you apart from sex. When you can tell that it wont go anywhere but they still want to see you then its probably just for sex. This would be a bar hook up relationship I guess. ( never had one)  Sometimes you stick around just because you have nothing better to do.