When the discussion comes to picking up girls, the emphasis always seems to be placed on making that initial ice breaker, appearing confident, yada yada yada...But what is rarely discussed is the deal sealer.
Sure, you have her, inexplicably, in the palm of your hand. She's laughing at your jokes (let's face it, you aren't that funny), she's trying to look into your eyes (that's because she's so drunk she needs something to focus on), the stage is set, but you need a little extra push to get her to come back to your place.
Now, before we proceed, I will admit, this does not work 100% of the time — nothing is foolproof. But, if things are going swimmingly and you need the strongest ammunition around, it is these five words.
Wait, which five words? These five words, "I live with my parents." If you can say, "I live with my mother," you are doing one better. "What a crock of shit," I can hear from the peanut gallery, but I promise these words are golden and to prove it, I'll use a little psychology (who says it's a pseudo-science?) to back me up.
When a girl is leaving with you from a bar, sure she's generally saying she's down for a little action, but underneath the drunken haze she still wants a safe and protective man. You are edgy enough to be out drinking but you're also a family man...after all, you live with your family! The chances you have a contagious STI automatically are reduced, even with that open sore she can feel kissing your lower lip. When you say that's just a canker sore, she'll know she can believe you.
She'll also be thinking just a little bit about the morning after. As a guy, we love it when, after a hook-up, girls cook for us the next morning, but you know what? Girls like when a guy does just the same thing for them! But, how swank is it when your mom puts together a little French Toast for two? Not just that, the girl automatically feels important and special because you will be introducing her to your parents.
Yes folks, it's a win-win.
What are some of your can't-lose exit lines?
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Comments (28)
This is the best joke I've ever seen on Mancouch.
This is awesome haha
"Lets pillow fight naked"
Always works. Always.
wait...you're joking right? haha.ha.ha.ha. ha...
LOL NO.
=P
i'm gonna say it again, ah lahk yo peach fuzzle. :D
i usually just hold up my visa card or a wad of cash....that generally does the trick, lol.
LOL epic
@Lordv16@xanga - I like this. I'm gonna have to try it out.
Yeah, kay. No. Not really.
hahaha.
i don't use "lines"; i find them to be quite cheesy. i am often, though, quite sexually aggressive and will flirt shamelessly until i know s/he wants me. then either s/he takes the lead or i make a move myself with the knowledge that i won't be shot down.
@gypsybird@xanga - it's all in the delivery, man. I've had all kinds of cheesy bullshit work for me. You've just got to be able to play it off, you know?
i have money..i have a job...i have a porche...i have a mansion.... i have a yacht.... and im dumb as a post...
Definitely wont work at uni.
@gypsybird@xanga -Passing off slightly modified works great literature as your own, and the practise of only hooking up with illiterate chicks strikes me as rather shallow >.>
Shallow-ness notwithstanding, that's a novel idea. Not sure that it's something I would try, but very interesting. Thanks for sharing!
anything is better than that time i heard "I've got a small dick. You ladies should come home with me, I'll prove it to you."
That, my friends, was a fail.
@Nerevar_The_Incarnate@xanga - obviously. though i found his naivete at the whole matter quite hilarious.
my dream guy totally lives in his parent's basement
it shows his going green considerate side by taking up less space on earth by residing in the confines of a modest basement & his recession proof strategic intelligence-loving side by generously allowing his parents to pay for everything 
LOL
"i'm a doctor"
@ThePrince@xanga - Visa?! What? You are mistaken. You must mean a Centurion card. =P
i didn't know ppl still went home with random ppl from bars...wow that seems so trashy and 80s to me.
@Lilyofdavalley84@xanga - I mean no offense when I ask this; Are you serious?
"i have a weed farm in my backyard" would def work on me