Tuesday, 21 April 2009
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Ladies, Your Dog Is Not An Effing Toy!
The other day I flipped to Animal Planet in hopes that there would be a show about men fighting bears, hippos eating men, or bears riding on the backs of hippos fighting dragons.
What I got was a kick square in the junk in the form of a show about the world’s craziest pet houses (and consequently, most retarded pet owners). When I saw a woman from Hollywood who had built an apartment sized house for her dog, furnished it with electronic accessories, painted the entire interior pink, and had enough paint left over to paint the dog pink, I suddenly realized why my hands had flung my pasta at the TV.
It’s enough to see Paris Hilton carrying a dog in a purse when she’s out flashing her vagina. It’s enough to know that there are people out there who call themselves dog psychologists and ask their patients what they feel when they indulge in that second helping of their own shit. It’s enough that women in Hollywood are allowed to own dogs in the first place, but the latest trend of turning dogs into four legged midgets is too much.Later on in the show, after I cleaned up the pasta, there was a batty old woman who looked like the slutty female gremlin in Gremlins 2.
It's in the eyes.
The gremlin, or Ruth Regina as it calls itself, explained the concept behind her store that designs wigs for dogs, or better yet, colored hair pieces for partially colorblind animals already covered in hair. So, if you ever want your dog to wish he was on a plate in China, let him know there's a nice comb-over in his future.
In related news, your pug still won't have a face.
Anyone else wonder why people can't just let dogs be animals?
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About the Author
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- From: goldenj2384
- Name: justin
- About Me: I'm a writer, I'm a guitarist, I'm a boyfriend, a brother, and a son. That order changes daily. I play guitar and write lyrics for Escape the Skyline and now I'm a writer for Mancouch.
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Comments (70)
I gutta admit though that dogs tie is pretty ill
This made me laugh. I have a dog but it isn't purse sized and it doesn't have any clothes, thank god.
Little dogs are both pets and accessories. Discuss!
I want to get my dog a raincoat. I'll stop just short of dyeing him pink..... the cat on the other hand...
Ick, I'd never make my dog pink - she's beautiful already :P
wonder if those wigs comes in red.
Dogs are also not accessories.
@Kevin_is_a_pirate@xanga - That dog is fitted up, with a tie, and everything Hehe! But seriously, dogs are dogs. It's best to let them stay like one instead.
i wonder that all the time. if one of my friends dressed up their dog, put a wig on it, or painted it, i'd probably find a pit bull that has been in a dog fighting ring and let him loose on my friend after severely beating him and tying meat to his body!!!
p.s. i think dog fighting is f**ked up too!
When people let dogs "just be animals", it often leads to things like dogs being tied up outside in the cold, dogs being neglected, dogs being abused, and, eventually, dogs tearing off the face of the toddler next door.
We've domesticated dogs to the point where they could not survive as "animals" in the wild. Should we be dyeing our dogs pink and making them wear hairpieces? Probably not. But I do think we need to take responsibility for the little monsters we've created through centuries of selective breeding. A Yorkie will never be a "real animal", no matter how much we try to make it so. We bred the little dogs as companions; to expect them to act otherwise is unrealistic.
@ego_sum_nemo@xanga - My dog, who's a Shitzu, has both a raincoat and a sweater for any "inclement" weather. While she definitely hates me putting it on her/taking it off her, she would freeze without it. I don't see what's so wrong about it.
@TalithaKum88@xanga - Exactly! My dogs's a bigger dog (Hound/Collie mix), but he's so skinny and he's getting older (not that I like to admit it), so he doesn't need to be drenched in cold rain. He still needs his walks during bad weather weeks though.
so is a dog a toy, accessory, or midget? i'm not sure what you're arguing against
Too funny... I don't think about these things until they come up, and yes, they are very amusing to read.
Oh that's freaking retarded. It should be a requirement that someone's sanity be checked before giving them a pet!
LMAO!
Dying a pooch pink? Animal abuse!!!!
Don't dress up your dogs.
Seriously.
Look at poor tinkerbell (Paris's dog)
Dogs should only wear clothes for health reasons [if it is freezing cold outside during a walk] and nothing else. Beyond health reasons it's pointless. Seriously, there is not justification for dogs wearing wigs. It's a waste of money and most dogs would not like it. Poor animals. People are so stupid. Also dogs should not be kept in purses, they need exercise.
I wish women did not give all women a bad rep. Trust me, not all women like those tiny little purse dogs. I think they SUCK. They usually have bad temperaments and when they are really small they can have a genetic deformity.
Some day they're gonna mess with the wrong dog and that dog just won't take it. Newheadlines will read: Paris Hilton Killed by Tutued Chiuaua
Sorry...no offense... I love dogs, but WTH. People don't you know, how many diseases the dog inside their bodies. For real, I hope they are not going to kiss the dog, who know what they lick, eat ( some dogs do eat # 3) and so on.... I'm not kidding.. I seen dogs did that.. arrrrrrr
Well, I hope those dogs are looking for new owners ASAP. That's is horrible. PINK -- you are giving me nightmare.. I don't think I want to have another cotton candy for a while.
They probably do that because they don't have a kid to live through anymore XD Poor dogs.