Here's a little female bashing. Not to be taken seriously.
Q: How many men does it take to open a beer?
A; None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
Q: Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up women?
A: Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.
Q: Why do women have smaller feet then men?
A: So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.
Q: How do you fix a women's watch?
A: You don't. There's a clock on the oven.
Q: Why do men pass more gas than women do?
A: Because women don't shut up long enough to build up pressure.
Q: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling
at the front door, which do you let in first?
A: The dog of course. At least he'll shut up after you let him in.
Q: What's worse than a male chauvinistic pig?
A: A woman who won't do what she's told.
Q: What do you call a woman with two brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
Q: What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
A: Divorced.
Any of these ring true?
List is from funnylist.net
Comments (96)
Ha ha. I've told people that when I get married, my husband can serve me beer and food, and I'll sit on the couch & watch football :P
i have to admit, as a women, i feel guilty for laughing at those
Lol, these are so good. The one about the wife yelling and the dog barking at the door is so true though. Lock your wife outside and you're pretty sure to get bitched at.
classy.
Q: Why do men pass more gas than women do?
A: Because women don't shut up long enough to build up pressure.
I'll admit that this one got a smile out of me.
It made me smile
A: Pregnant.
LMAO.
Q: What do you call a woman with two brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
I didn't know that babies had two brain cells.
Q: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling
at the front door, which do you let in first?
A: The dog of course. At least he'll shut up after you let him in.
hahaha.
I heard this from an ex-coworker:
Q: Want to hear a joke?A: Women's rights
Yikes/Hilarious
LOL!!! I
mancouch
:) you made me laugh.
haha this is so good!
my boyfriend has told me some jokes similar to these hahah
YEAAH we're completely useless!
feminists suck
ROFL. we are NOT that difficult to be with. That's why god gave men the muscles and women the everything else! LOL
Those are pretty fun, even if so sexist.
i always laugh at these XD
makes me feel guilty but i cant help it
I giggled at this one, lol.
Q: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, which do you let in first?
A: The dog of course. At least he'll shut up after you let him in.
Grammar Lesson:
Woman = the singular form of an adult female.
Women = the plural form of an adult female.
Please get it right. :P
lauging like crazy.............. payback time of biblical proportions.... feel free to delte this one if you think it is too long..... Genesis 1 = And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light.God saw that the light was good,= And God said, "Let the water under the sky be gathered to one place, and let dry ground appear." And it was so. God called the dry ground "land," and the gathered waters he called "seas." And God saw that it was good. = Then God said, "Let the land produce vegetation: seed-bearing plants and trees on the land that bear fruit with seed in it, according to their various kinds." And it was so. And God saw that it was good. = God made two great lights--the greater light to govern the day and the lesser light to govern the night. He also made the stars. And God saw that it was good. = So God created the great creatures of the sea and every living and moving thing with which the water teems, according to their kinds, and every winged bird according to its kind. And God saw that it was good. = God made the wild animals according to their kinds, the livestock according to their kinds, and all the creatures that move along the ground according to their kinds. And God saw that it was good. = the creation of man Genesis 2 = 7 the LORD God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.......18 The LORD God said, "It is NOT good - funny that man was the first thing God created that he was not happy with......... and how did he fix his mistake?.........Then the LORD God made a woman......... (I'm just sayin')
@Michelynne@xanga - My thoughts exactly. After enough jokes about men, and this list, truthully, I think we should be even.
What do you say, want to call a truce?
i really wanted to laugh at these, but didn't.
not offended, just not really funny.
@JDream@xanga - that i laughed at.
>=P poo head.