The Perfect Woman

Monday, 30 March 2009

The Perfect Woman

While I doubt there could ever be a perfect person, I was just sitting here thinking, "I'm tired out of my mind." So I decided to make up a list of attributes a perfect woman would have.
1) A perfect woman would have to be beautiful.
2) She'd have to be hot (there's a difference).
3) The perfect woman would be a good cook.
4) The perfect woman would like sports, not chick flicks. She would watch football with me.
5) The perfect woman would make me a sammich during the commercials.
6) The perfect woman wouldn't see this post as sexism.
7) Despite liking sports, the perfect woman would still talk like a lady.
8) The perfect woman would (obviously) never use a low blow for anything other than self defense.
9) The perfect woman would like beer, but not enough to get a beer gut. Just enough to let me drink it.
10) The perfect woman would only talk during commercials and only if I already had a sammich.
11) The perfect woman would say what she really thought.
12) A perfect woman wouldn't ask questions if she didn't want the answer.
13) A perfect woman would def see Twilight as the shallow and creepy stuff it is.
14)The perfect woman would never cheat.
15) The perfect woman would still have all of her hair after reading this clearly biased list, and she'd know which parts of it were just jokes.
In all seriousness though, what do you think a perfect woman would be like?
http://mancouch.com

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err said afore... mute.. warm ... breathing...perfect..
- 3/30/2009 2:11 PM
- beforedawn@xanga (message)
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yay for #13!!
- 3/30/2009 2:14 PM
- The_Tudor_Rose@xanga (message)
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Hahaha. That was cute.
Why the sudden clamor over perfection? =[
The perfect woman would be rational but idealistic, adventurous as well as cautious, and all the other contradictory this-but-that's. (it's a guess.)
- 3/30/2009 2:15 PM
- xxthatsmexx@xanga (message)
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hmmmmm well she'd be just like me of course......
- 3/30/2009 2:16 PM
- echois23@xanga (message)
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I agree to the not talking part ^-^
- 3/30/2009 2:16 PM
- Kevin_is_a_pirate@xanga (message)
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I met her about ten years ago. And I married her.
- 3/30/2009 2:19 PM
- Romans_837@xanga (message)
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It's so pathetic when girls get their SO something to eat or drink while he just sits there on his ass, unless he also does it for her. And guys who want mommies, not girlfriends, are even more pathetic.
- 3/30/2009 2:39 PM
- abh816@xanga (message)
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lol... im guessing you wrote this while you were thinking of your gf? She brings you sammiches while you sit on your ass watching sports and drinking a beer?
A perfect woman (according to me) wouldn't listen to this kind of BS.
- 3/30/2009 2:42 PM
- Neurotically_Mine@xanga (message)
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@Romans_837@xanga - Your comment made me smile. Congrats.
- 3/30/2009 2:51 PM
- El_Prego_Nikki@xanga (message)
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@Neurotically_Mine@xanga -
I didn't write this, but...
15) The perfect woman would still have all of her hair after reading
this clearly biased list, and she'd know which parts of it were just
jokes.
- 3/30/2009 2:54 PM
- of_such_a_prodigious_paradox@xanga (message)
- reply
@of_such_a_prodigious_paradox@xanga - no shit. this piece was written for humor.
but obviously some parts are serious. b/c after all men want to be catered to by their girlfriends..at least according to the writer.
- 3/30/2009 3:04 PM
- Neurotically_Mine@xanga (message)
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haha i liked this, even if i am a girl :P
thought it was cute in that guyish kind of way
- 3/30/2009 3:09 PM
- laurenmaureen@xanga (message)
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vaguely funny. i thought mancouch was better than this? step on my toes boys! i'm beginning to think you're all a bunch of sissies who are afraid of their own insenstive humour* and have to pepper it with disclaimers lest the lady readers get pissy :P
- 3/30/2009 3:20 PM
- BranmacFeabhail@xanga (message)
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haven't found one yet.
- 3/30/2009 3:43 PM
- reckless_eagle@xanga (message)
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Haha, I liked it. I am a woman, but I found it cute. :P
- 3/30/2009 3:53 PM
- xXEclipsedSunXx@xanga (message)
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Nothing about sex? Or is that the difference between beautiful and hot?
- 3/30/2009 4:05 PM
- weezerfan16@xanga (message)
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So I guess my boyfriend's your idea of the perfect girl?
- 3/30/2009 4:22 PM
- sweetsweetsugarjunkie@xanga (message)
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cute..
- 3/30/2009 4:30 PM
- immaairheadxl@xanga (message)
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I say this can go both ways. I don't think woman have to do anything for men unless they return the favor. Woman really don't need men as much as they think ahaha and if these are the qualities you're looking for, I can guarantee YOU WON'T FIND HER ^_^
I thought this was... okay. I wasn't gonna comment and be like "That's so sexist !" or anything, because yeah, this is all just a joke. But seriously, there are some key things that shallow, lazy men think true, meaning the sandwich and beer thing.
Please. Give me a break.

Just because a woman would think that you're being the lazy person you are and standing up for themselves would mean they're imperfect ? I think that's a sign of perfection ! People need to get over the thought of 'perfection'. How many times have we been saying "Nobody's perfect !" yet we still put everything on hold to wait for one to come along ? Ridiculous.
- 3/30/2009 4:38 PM
- SamiiSaysHaii@xanga (message)
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there's no such thing as a perfect woman.
but good gawd..that girl on the far right..NICE TITS! :D
- 3/30/2009 4:37 PM
- asdfghjkieu@xanga (message)
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@abh816@xanga - Agree :)
im too lazy to make guys their sandwich they should make one for mee
- 3/30/2009 4:50 PM
- phuck_diz_shiz@xanga (message)
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i would say the following numbers are truly correct : 1,2,3,11,13
- 3/30/2009 4:56 PM
- kmiahali@healthkicker (message)
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That describes me well.
- 3/30/2009 5:31 PM
- methodElevated@xanga (message)
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if only they really existed.
- 3/30/2009 5:53 PM
- WhiteNinja89@xanga (message)
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cute list ^^
- 3/30/2009 6:04 PM
- starberri92@xanga (message)
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