Friday, 20 March 2009

• The 10 Most Annoying People at College Bars

  This is a submitted guest list by J.Stone from That's So Fetch.
  

  For more lists and other pop culture stuff, check out www.ThatsSoFetch.com
  
  10. The Overly Confident Pool/Darts Guy
  
  
  
  You are above average at the “bar sports”.  You have a steady hand that makes all the chicks melt.  Your idea of a good time is a night of kickin’ ass and takin’ names at the pool table or an overly competitive game of darts.  All of your friends want to be you and you've caught the attention of every girl in the bar - believe me -  If you can’t get laid, I don’t know who can.  You are a grade-A badass.  We salute you.
  
  9. The Unapproachable Hot Chick
  
  
  
  We all know the unapproachable hot chick who’s just “too hot” for anyone.  I mean - what’s the point of living if you aren’t accessible at all?  Let me give you some help.  A little TSF tip with 100% free consultation:
  
  In any given group of girls, there will naturally be a “range” of hotness.  Let’s say there’s a group of 4 chicks you want to get your mack on with.  Before approaching, you begin forming a pre-game scouting report.  Reports show a 10, an 8, a 7, and a 3 (out of 10).  Never - and I repeat NEVER - go after the hottest chick in a group (in this case, the 10).  She’s a lost cause, forget her.  You go after the 2nd hottest (the 8).  If you can’t close the deal with the 2nd hottest, you find another group and repeat. Win
  
  8. The “Grenade”
  
  
  
  It is a well-known fact that hot chicks keep hot company.  Unfortunately, there are exceptions to every rule.  When you and and your friend decide to hit the bars, a Wing Man must be identified for the possibility of the “grenade”, a.k.a. the hot chick’s ugly friend.  The Wing Man must accept the fact that he may have to jump on that grenade for you to have any possibility of taking care of business after hours.  The things we do for our friends…
  
  7. The Underages
  
  
  
   You’re 19 and you “so look 21” - but in reality you stick out like a sore thumb.  You’re a freshman and it’s insanely obvious because it’s 10:00pm and you’re already passed out in the bathroom.  Dorm room Easy Mac has easily added a good 10-15 pounds … and it’s only September.  Your fake ID is “flawless” and you’ve spent the last two weeks memorizing the fake address.
  
  6. Guys In Sleeveless Shirt
  
  
  
  You work out a lot - we get it. You may spend 3 hours a day in the gym, but who are you kidding?  We all know you’re making up for size in your arms for the lack of size elsewhere.  And it’s no secret that all of you sleeveless egomaniacs shave your arms - which is 100% unacceptable and is gayer than Elton John giving Richard Simmons a sponge bath.
  
  5.  The “You Lookin’ At My Girl?” Guy
  
  
  
  You’re a badass and you love to make us all aware.  The minute some dude looks at your girl’s D cups (that you probably paid for), you react as if he’d wished Polio upon your first born.  You always have your hands on her hips and you must make it known that “she’s your girl“.  You’re possessive and it’s oh-so-evident.
  
  4. The Overly Boisterous-Frat Guy/Sorority Girl-80s Rock Fan
  
  
  
  “DON’T STOP BELIEVIN’ - HOLD ON TO THAT FEEEEELINNNN’ YA YAYAAA”.  You act like you haven’t heard that song in years and it gives you an auditory orgasm every time that kick ass 80s rock song resonates your ear drums.  Pump your fist in the air, raise your beer, and scream the lyrics with your arm around that sexually obliged sorostitute.  You’re wearing your slick Polo button up and only utilizing 3 or 4 of the buttons because we all know we love staring at your revolting, hairy man-chest.
  
  3. Chicks With Boyfriends
  
  
  
  If a hot chick has a boyfriend and decides to go “out with the girls”, do us all a favor and mention this little fact up front.  The last thing I want to do is buy a chick five $9 drinks only to find out 30 minutes later that’s she’s heading home to bone down with her lame boyfriend.
  
  2. The “It’s My Birthday!!!!!” Girl
  
  
  
  You’re loud.  You’re obnoxious.  And everyone around must know that it’s your “BIRTHDAY, BITCH!“  You’re wearing an annoyingly unnecessary princess crown and you’re still drunk from the TGIF shooters at your birthday dinner.  What you don’t realize is that no one gives two shits that it’s your birthday other than your equally as annoying friends.  You’re overly celebrating the day that you emerged from your mother’s birth canal … just like everyone else will at some point in the year.  No I won’t buy you a shot - go away.
  
  1. Steroid Filled, “I’m Gonna Kick Your Ass” Guy
  
  
  
  “Move.”  “Don’t touch my boy, bro.”  “Look at me like that again..”  “Shut your goddamn mouth.”  “Tell your boy to step off.” Has this guy ever taken a chick home?  What a sad existence.  It’s like their life goal to get in at least one fight every weekend.  They use words like “bro”, “chief”, and “boss”.  Girls are “ho*s”, “sl*ts” and “bitches” and don’t you ever cross one of their “boys”,  chief.
  
  Do you come across these people at your campus or at bars?
  
  Do you find people on Facebook annoying? You should check out J.Stone's Top 10 Most Annoying People on Facebook list.
  

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