Many times, us guys go to bars to meet women but they end up giving us weird signals and trying to figure them out is a pain in the ass!
So I've listed 10 possible signs she'll give, based on epic studies, observations and calculations, and what to do with them. (Just trying to make your life easier, you're welcome).
- If she buys you a drink, then buy her two.
- If she touches you, take her hand and make her feel your biceps and 6 pack. (If you don't have any, then just let her hands go wherever they choose)
- If she compliments you, then tell her to keep it coming because she’ll thank you later.
- If she’s making eye contact, she’s trying to possess you, so just stare back.
- If she lets you touch her, try to restrain yourself. You might go too far.
- If she leans in, tell her she needs a breath mint and you only have one in your mouth (in the process quickly turn away and put in a breathe mint in your mouth cuz you know you don't have one).
- If she shares her private details, start talking about your private details. While she’s talking about her past relationships, you’ll be talking about how much you’re trying to beat that video game, which will make her stop talking almost instantly.
- If she starts talking dirty, just go along with it and repeat everything she says.
- If she shows you her tattoo, depending on where it is, tell her you can’t see it. Then “make” her show you where it is.
- If she wants to splits a cab with you, don’t let her. Pay for it, because if you’re in the cab heading to her house, least you can do is pay for the ride there, right?
Do women give specific signals when they're trying to get you to talk to them or maybe even hook up? Are you good at interpreting those signals?
**For all you humor deprived folks, this is not meant to be taken seriously.
mancouch.com
Comments (61)
HOLY CRAP OMG THIS IS THE BEST POST EVER WE SHOULD BE BEST FRIENDS.
Ooops. I just saw that you're a Xangateamer. Nevermind.
i take this 110% seriously and will use every single one on my woman TONIGHT!
For all you humor deprived people (you know who you are), this is not
meant to be taken seriously, although it has been known to work
You said don't take it seriously, the said it worked.
This is some of the worst advice I've ever heard. Maybe it works between a guido and guidette.
LOL.
@Mad_Ass_Hatter@xanga - guidos and guidettes can't read so i wouldn't worry about them borrowing this knowledge.
lulz.
Are those twins with twin boob jobs? Holy fuck!
If she shares her private details, start talking about your private details. While she’s talking about her past relationships, you’ll be talking about how much you’re trying to beat that video game, which will make her stop talking almost instantly.
That actually works, I do it to people all the time. But it doesn't get anyone to want to sleep with you >_>
Hahaha. I was hoping this was a joke. thank goodness. lol.
<li>If she buys you a drink, then buy her two.
Buy her the whole damn bar.
<li>If she touches you, take her hand and make her feel your biceps and 6 pack. (If you don't have any, then just let her hands go wherever they choose)
No, please don't do that. It just makes you look like a dumbass, cocky fool.
<li>If she compliments you, then tell her to keep it coming because she’ll thank you later.
No, you compliment her back. because if it keeps on going, then you, again, look like a senseless fool.
<li>If she’s making eye contact, she’s trying to possess you, so just stare back.
Damn right. Stare back. ....seductively! Hypnotize her.
<li>If she lets you touch her, try to restrain yourself. You might go too far.
Don't go anything under the waist or hips. Ya digg.
<li>If she leans in, tell her she needs a breath mint and you only have one in your mouth (in the process quickly turn away and put in a breathe mint in your mouth cuz you know you don't have one).
No. Don't say that. You might get slapped for she thinks ur tryna say she's got bad breath.
<li>If she shares her private details, start talking about your private details. While she’s talking about her past relationships, you’ll be talking about how much you’re trying to beat that video game, which will make her stop talking almost instantly.
What the hell..no one talks about this in the club/bar..If she talkin' about pas relationshits already, u damn well ain't gonna hit it.
<li>If she starts talking dirty, just go along with it and repeat everything she says.
No, don't repeat everything she says. STEP YOUR GAME UP. be original.
<li>If she shows you her tattoo, depending on where it is, tell her you can’t see it. Then “make” her show you where it is.
Haha, this is where you should take her hand.
<li>If she wants to splits a cab with you, don’t let her. Pay for it, because if you’re in the cab heading to her house, least you can do is pay for the ride there, right?
Say you want to make sure she's home safe so ride with me.
=]
@immaairheadxl@xanga - Agreed!
Plus, silicone parts are made for toys, boys.
@goldenj2384 - True, true.
LOL, I was almost hoping this was serious, just to see the flame war it would start.
LOL @ the water balloon implant twins... that looks so ridiculous.
Whoooa fake tits galore!
ummm bring MONEY..repeat ten times....
i give those titties four thumbs down
immaairheadxl@xanga - agree!
haha this was funny.
@Mad_Ass_Hatter@xanga - lol it's beautifully written isn't it. I wouldn't be surprised if someone actually does follow these guidelines haha
some of these are so cheesy i can't stop laughing.
@immaairheadxl@xanga - hahha. yeah, i don't want to touch a guy or have him touch me when we've just met. lol
ugh.
epic fail.
I didn't finish reading this.
"Many times, us guys go to bars to meet women but end up giving us weird signals and trying to figure them out is hard! "
Read this out loud; I get what you're trying to say, but this is a horrible sentence.
Those girls go to my school (or went to my school I don't know anymore).
@immaairheadxl@xanga - Whole bar my ass! For a whole bar's worth of liquir; my nuts had better be shining off of the reflection of the next morning sunlight!
Not gonna lie, all of this sounds like total bullshit. If it were me, I'd start walking away from the loser who did any of this. Good job, noob.
sage advice