I read the Mancouch post on
"How One Beautiful Woman Can Eff Up Your Life", and I couldn't disagree more.
But first, some full disclosure. I used to be plenty shallow in high school. At the time, I figured my future wife would be model-level beautiful... maybe even hotter.
The truth is, I didn't really know that much about girls - so I only really related to them based on their looks.
Then I started dating, and I noticed something amazing: the most plain girl in the world could become more and more beautiful over time, if she was a good person. I met this one girl who was so genuinely thoughtful and giving, I swear she had a halo. She radiated goodness, and it made her absolutely beautiful to me.
That relationship didn't work out, and so I eventually moved on. I rebounded and started dating a girl who was really beautiful, super cool, and who was so much fun to hang out with... I thought I had hit the trifecta.
Then one day, I noticed that she really didn't have any friends - SUCH a bad sign. Even though she had lived in the same suburban neighborhood her whole life, she didn't have a single friend from childhood.
I started to wonder why, and it wasn't long before I noticed how selfish she was with her friends and family - strike two. If a girl isn't good to her own flesh and blood, how do you think she will treat you?
Finally I noticed that to me, even her looks were fading away. She was still young and beautiful to others, but it was like I could see her for the person that she was. There was nothing wrong with her, but I couldn't spend the rest of my life with someone who was selfish.
Looking back on my relationships, I realize that looks don't really matter - as long as you are attracted to your partner. If your partner is hideously deformed and you can't get over that, then ok... looks matter. But I've been amazed at how much personality dominates looks.
If a woman is good to her friends and family and to you, she will become so beautiful to you that nothing else is important. And that's why beautiful women don't matter.
What do you think... do you believe in inner beauty, or are looks everything?
This is a guest blog submitted by one of our readersmancouch.com
Comments (194)
Beauty aint everything. Trust me.
"Women are like oranges, I don't care as long as you can squeeze 'em." -Red Skelton
I def believe in inner beauty. It's like when a guy asks a girl if her friends are hot, and the girl says "of course!" cause in her mind her friends are gorgeous, but to the guy he might think they're just plain because he just sees the physical aspect. Good post. (:
@Dare2BDiferentt@xanga - i couldn't have said it better.
Just because they're nice to look at doesn't mean they're nice to be with...
Beauty is just another abstract concept we can't define. However, personality IS a major indicator.
Yeah, you can see it in peoples' eyes, I swear. Good people shine.
I'm one of those girls you don't date. I'm ugly and a bitch. Don't worry, I don't date anymore and am getting fixed ASAP.
I agree 100% i think some people are absolutely gorgeous because of that while others cant see what im looking at at all.
Thank you. I don't know how I was dumb enough to read a blog for men, but I did. It was "How One Beautiful Woman Can Eff up Your Life," and it made me mad. Seriously. That was really shallow. I know not all men are like that, but some are. And it makes me mad. Because girls shouldn't have to live with guys like that trying to ruin their self-esteem. Besides, maybe that plain Jane girl you turned down in high school grows up to be the hottest model out there. And you turned her down. Sucks to be you.
Ive learned the hard way that looks aren't everything. I assumed if they look good they are good all around, but i was 17 at that time. I married my highschool boyfriend that i had met in 12th grade and as i got to know him better after a span of 10 years and with no other man to compare him to, i was in for a rude awakening. I have never been treated so horribly in my life. We are divorced now but i endured more pain and hurt than i could of imagined. He is ugly to me now and the woman that fall for his looks are in for a ride.
That's a better thought process then the other one.
Of course, I agree. I could give you a 10 page, single-spaced rant about a "beautiful" girl who is as plain as white bread to me...but that would be bad. Haha. Inner beauty really does add to a person's attractiveness.
@Dare2BDiferentt@xanga - lol.
If I like someone, they automatically become really beautiful to me, so I guess that in that sense, beauty does matter (well, for me).
That's definitely true. I've always experienced that with guys.
@cursedgypsy@xanga - I agree. Eyes tell things. It's creepy but really fucking amazing.
@OstentatiousEloquence@xanga - yeah, mine usually scare people.
You?
i agree that looks dont matter. someone could think my boyfriend isnt attractive at all, but to me he's so sexy. i mean obviously you dont date someone you arent attracted to, but they do become more attractive overtime, with how good of a person they are
I hate when people try to spin this as "beauty vs. personality" like it's clear-cut black and white. It's not.
Looks are important to everyone, regardless of how many people disagree with your taste, you're not going to date someone you're entirely unattracted to just because of their "personality." Yeah I get it, no one wants to date a stuck-up bitch or a puffed-up bastard, but that doesn't mean that looks play absolutely zero role in your selection of a significant other. Nor does it automatically mean if you date someone who falls into society's definition of "hot" or "attractive" that you just went for them because they looked good.
I get moderately annoyed with all this "I date people for their personality, looks don't matter," stuff because common mate selection seems to suggest otherwise in nearly every single case I have heard, read about, or personally experienced. I have yet to find the couple that says, "I find my significant other completely unattractive physically, but their inner beauty is something special."
That's exactly how I feel! Personality overshadows looks as you get to know someone, and the most gorgeous jerk can end up looking so ugly.
My sister always used to ask me which guy in the magazine I thought was hottest and I never thought any were all that good looking because I didn't know their personality. (Not to say they were bad looking, but how do you choose without knowing them?)
@cursedgypsy@xanga - Mine are brown. I get lotsa compliments on them.
@tokyoexpressman@xanga - Good points, indeed.
@Dare2BDiferentt@xanga - Thread over. We have a winner.
She didn't have any friends? Poor thing! And then you dump her for that? Sheesh. A girl can be really mean and still have a lot of friends. Maybe she's just introverted.
people with a great personality make them beautiful. plain and simple. =]
@OstentatiousEloquence@xanga - mine are blue with a yellow ring that pops out when I express emotion. Most people don't like them. They have also turned completely green (light) for a few days, which confuses people as well. And gray.