Wednesday, 11 March 2009

  • Why Would Any Man In His Right Mind Wear Purple Pants?

     
    Who wears purple pants?

    Do you know any guys who wear purple pants? No, you don't. You know why you don't? Because if they wore purple pants you wouldn't know them any more.

    Anyone with real friends wouldn't wear purple pants because they would be mocked viciously and without mercy until they were shamed into changing.

    Take Bruce Banner aka The Hulk for example. Dude really needs to stop wearing purple pants.  Why hasn't anyone brought this up to him? 

    C'mon, Bruce, you're a scientist, not a pimp. Time to grow up and come to big boy land.

    Hey, I'm not saying he can never wear purple pants. If he wants to wear purple pants once in while, ok, that's fine. Strange, but fine. But every goddamn day? Dude, you're wanted by the military, how about you try being a little less conspicuous. You might as well have a facial tattoo.



    Is it because they only sell pants that can stretch out to hulk size around the waist and down to the knees, only  in purple?

    I refuse to believe that. And even if it were true, you can suffer the indignity of nudity to not get shot at by helicopters all the time. Wouldn't you like that?

    And it would sure make it easier to get around. Picture this...

    I'm driving my car through Nevada and I see a half naked man in torn purple pants trying to hitch a ride, I say "Now way, dude's the Hulk."

    I see a naked guy in the middle of the desert trying to hitch a ride I say, "That guy took way to much acid, poor fella, let me help him out." Boom, ride. There, you go champ.

    So lose the purple pants and please make she-hulk less attractive. I find myself disturbingly aroused by her, she being a cartoon and all. Also given the radiation levels of her blood I'm pretty sure any sort of "relations" with her would likely lead to cancer.

    Is any guy wearing purple pants acceptable? What about other colors like green, red?  Ohhh what about leather pants?

    mancouch.com

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