Wednesday, 11 March 2009

• Don't Stockpile Weapons for a Coming War & Crash Airplanes...Lost Will Be Back

  
  

  
  Good evening, Mancouch readers. I have come to you today to discuss a very serious issue, addiction to the television show Lost.
  
  Now, you may notice some of your friends acting a little differently this week. Perhaps they're tweaking out a bit or they're acting extraordinarily frustrated, maybe they've even been booking flights from Los Angeles to Guam when you live in Cleveland.
  
  That's because they are going through withdrawals. You see, Lost isn't airing this week so their bodies have been thrown into dysphoria.
  
  

  
  

  
  It is not uncommon for them to be feeling anxious or depressed and while they may lash out at you screaming something about a four-toed statue or what happened to Olivia Goodspeed, it is important to stick by them. They are hurting and they need your help.
  
  Some one in their condition can do great harm to themselves or others if not taken care of properly. They've been known to run around chasing and scaring children pretending to be a smoke monster, steal boats only to paddle in circles, stockpile weapons for a coming war with the hostiles, and trying to crash airplanes (that last one is really looked down upon by the authorities).
  
  They are likely to become pale, sweaty, strung-out and sickly throughout the coming week until a new Lost finally airs.
  

  
  

  Please stick by your loves ones in this difficult time, they need you. And don't let them near the internet or they will spend every waking moment looking up theories and annoying you with constant jabbering about little princes, how Locke is secretly Jacob, and they're all really dead anyway.
  
  Do you know anyone suffering from Lost addiction? Have they harmed you or anyone you know?
  
  

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