Monday, 09 March 2009

  • The 5 Best Things To Say After Sex



    You took her shopping, you met her parents, you heard all her secrets, you made up some of your own to tell her, and now after the second date, you finally got to have sex. 

    While your natural inclination afterward is to grunt and fall sleep, hers is to ask for five minutes of cuddling, so it’s absolutely essential that you are prepared for at least twenty minutes of conversation.

    These lines will get you started 

    1) “Wait til’ my Warcraft guild hears about how I pwned you.”

                If you didn’t know that women love World of Warcraft, then you sir, know nothing of this life.  Most ladies would choose a sensual romp with a level 65 Paladin over that pale dude with the floating hair in Twilight, ANY DAY OF THE WEEK.  Just don’t mention your in-game wife because that might make her jealous.

    2) “Oh, I thought you meant the soldiers in Iraq should pull out.”

                If you want twenty minutes of conversation from one sentence, this is the line to drop.  You must quickly bring up babies and how cute they are with the folds in their arms and their marshmallow hands. If you don’t, she may actually hear what you said, and attempt homicide.  Either way, you opened the floodgates for conversation.     

    3) “What is your stance on the economic globalization of international capitalism?”

                The ladies love men that spark intellectual conversations, and there’s no better time to do this than when you’re dong is out.  The question will show her that you care about what’s happening in the world and may make her think about an answer, giving you the perfect opportunity to grunt and fall asleep.

    4) “So, you should probably tell people that you’re eighteen now.”

                We all know age is just a number and that your lady is far more mature than the rest of her homeroom class.  But we also know that now would be the time to prepare for the business end of her dads hunting rifle.  Reassure her that you just made her a woman and that she aged three years during those intense three minutes.     

    5) “Babe, that was amazing.  You look so beautiful right now.”

                This line is only recommended as a last resort, should the other four examples of perfection fail you.  This line can be followed by kissing her on the forehead or twirling her hair while she lies on your chest, neither of which guarantees you twenty minutes of conversation, thus requiring you to actually think.  Better yet, avoid this one at all costs, it may actually be inappropriate.    

    What are your best lines for after-sex conversation?

    mancouch.com

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  • goldenj2384
    • From: goldenj2384
    • Name: justin
    • About Me: I'm a writer, I'm a guitarist, I'm a boyfriend, a brother, and a son. That order changes daily. I play guitar and write lyrics for Escape the Skyline and now I'm a writer for Mancouch.
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