Wednesday, 04 March 2009
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Top 5 Ice-Breakers for Your First Date
You asked her out, she said no. You asked her friends to ask her, she still said no. You surprised her outside her gynecologist’s office and, afraid for her life, she said yes.
Now’s the time to set the mood and open up with the best line you’ve got, or perhaps several lines in a row so that she can choose the best one to respond to - fishing with dynamite.1) “I noticed that you have breasts and that they are both equally awesome.”
Women love compliments, especially about their breasts, and especially on the first date. Try to wait at least until the appetizer comes, wait for her to reach over and grab a mozzarella stick, assess the validity of the statement you’re about to make (so that it sounds truthful), and lay it on smooth with your best Barry White voice.
2) “I noticed when I picked you up that your mom is attractive.”
As you may see, the best pick up lines start with “I noticed,” because women like men who pay attention to the details. They also want you to like their families, and thus calling out her mom’s MILFness is a sure winner. No Barry White voice is needed for this one; just follow up with asking for a picture of her mom to keep in your wallet.
3) “When we have kids, our daughters are going to be hot.”
This approach works on numerous levels. It shows that you are thinking about kids, that you want daughters, and that you think little girls are hot. It’s a three-point shot, and you sir, will hit nothing but net. If this one backfires, bring up the time you surprised her outside her gynecologist’s office to change the subject.
4) “Today, I learned the average pe**s is three inches long. Could you pass the salad, please?”
Two things happen here – you make it known that you are an avid learner, and you look polite when you say “please.” Don’t follow up with a comment about your own pe**s, because that would be inappropriate. Wait until later when things get hot and heavy for her to realize that you are slightly above average.
5) “When we get home, ignore my roommate, she’s my girlfriend.”
Much like the other four lines, you want your date to feel safe, like you are always looking out for her. Also, she will be excited to hear that she will have somebody to hang out with when you get tired of being chivalrous and want to play Halo.
What's your best ice-breaker for the first date?
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About the Author
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- From: goldenj2384
- Name: justin
- About Me: I'm a writer, I'm a guitarist, I'm a boyfriend, a brother, and a son. That order changes daily. I play guitar and write lyrics for Escape the Skyline and now I'm a writer for Mancouch.
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Comments (63)
This is so terrible yet hilarious.
Good luck, guys! :)
lol!!!!! you've got to be kidding, I hope....
ugh. typical mancouch bs. nothing of any importance.
LOL absolutely horrible but definately made me laugh
Haha! Ice isn't the only thing going to be broken with these lines! I foresee a short life-span for kneecaps, too!
@trebleclef402@xanga - HAHAH! No kidding!
BeautifulB_227@xanga - thanks :)
lmao i love #4.
very funny suggestions sir, it's just too bad some people are a little too dense to realize this is HUMOR
1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say "could be better." This will keep her on her toes, and girls love that.
2.
Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. If
she grabs your hand, squeeze hers really, really hard until she cries.
This will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.
3. Once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls are like dogs. They love to be roughed up.
4.
Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If she
is, say "you better be." Repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This
will show her you care.
etcetc
I hope you're not serious. Because if you are, your name must be Dane Cook.
@BeautifulB_227@xanga - Then why did you come here expecting something more if you feel this site is so "typical?"
By the way, really funny post! :)
Ice breaker without sounding terribly misogynistic and sickly masochistic such as the abovementioned?
How about "I can hold a conversation with substance without attacking the matter of trying to get into your pants. Though that would be a plus. But feel free to roam that area later on ;) Now could you pass the salad?".
I would make such a great male date. LOL. too bad I'm not male :P
@Dorkasaur@xanga - I guess I still had that tinge of hope. But not anymore!
the reasons seem quite sound. it's what the ladies look for right? just not in those terms...well some of them
hahahahaha.
that's... yikes.
which i'm sure is what the whole point is.
ah yes the 4th line is a popular line amongst the ladies. the words salad and penis put right next to each other in the same paragraph...always a winner
@LucyOwnsMySoul@xanga - LOL! Haha, i like the second one. XD
hahahaha.
Oh geez... and to think that I was just about to receive some sound advice from the mancouch... :P as people said... terrible yet hilarious.
number 3 is hilarious.
Number 5 was funny
LOL. I think if a man ever said any of these to me, I would want him even more.
whathell... LOL...
The man I marry will use #1...on the first date...when I first get in the car...it will be his reason for asking me out to begin with.
True story.