Thursday, 26 February 2009
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Vlad the Impaler vs. Edward Cullen vs. Your Girlfriend's Love of Edward Cullen
Vampires, vampires, vampires; they're what's cool today. They can suck blood, they can fly, and they can fold shirts at Hot Topic.
They have the versatility to either end your existence, or play a game of baseball with you in a thunderstorm.
Sometimes they fight Wesley Snipes, and other times they fight the urge to have sex. But author Stephanie Meyer gave them the power to steal our women.
Last week, I went to see a showing of "Twilight" at my girlfriend's college. When the movie started, I was one of three dudes in a theater of at least a hundred people. Several more guys were there at the beginning to drop off their ladies and pick up a voucher for one free manhood. I on the other hand, stuck through it with the comfort of someone who sticks through a colonoscopy with no anesthesia.
My point here is not to complain about the movie, which wasn't god-awfully horrendous, but more to ask the ladies that are reading: "Why not have a crush on Vlad the Impaler instead?" No, his hair doesn't float off his head like Edward Cullen, and no, he probably won't stalk you in his car and save you from hooligans, but Vlad the Impaler, or Vlad Dracula, was the world's original vampire.
Edward Cullen may save you from getting run over, but Vlad will cook you a romantic dinner made from the flesh of your relatives. Edward Cullen may dance with you at your high school prom, but Vlad will impale 80,000 of your high school enemies. Then again, Vlad is responsible for Edward Cullen's existence, and for that reason, he's an asshole. I change my mind, Edward Cullen wins.
Why are women so fascinated with vampires?
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About the Author
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- From: goldenj2384
- Name: justin
- About Me: I'm a writer, I'm a guitarist, I'm a boyfriend, a brother, and a son. That order changes daily. I play guitar and write lyrics for Escape the Skyline and now I'm a writer for Mancouch.
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Comments (87)
I'm not into that freaky shit. o_o
I'm into wizards >:]
I hate Twilight. It's not even well-written.
I suppose it's the whole exotic, dangerous aspect of them. They're bad boys, but they'll control their urge to suck our blood because they love us. Etc.
Twilight is popular because it combines the aspect of a "perfect guy" with a 'forbidden fruit' aspect, thus attracting the attention of 483025672348320672034823 girls.
- John
I am definitely not into it. I saw the movie. My friends either faint at the sight of a poster - and the others are sick of it and just gag. I am kind of in the middle. I don't think his hair is that great anyway.
Wow, I feel old. I didn't even know about Twilight until a few months ago. I'm not into vampires, though.
Statement: I liked vampires before twilight, and not because they were pretty. Ok. some of them are pretty. But mainly they are just fascinating interesting fictional characters. I'd take Lestat over Cullen any day. He's got a fully developed personality. :P
Edward Cullen is WAY manly! Protective to the max. Romantic. Intelligent. Mind-reader! Stephanie Meyers created him as the ultimate ideal man with a mix of Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice, Mr. Rochester from Jane Eyre, and Gilbert from Anne of Green Gables. With those guys in the mix and super vampire powers HOW can a girl not fall for him?
I've never read Twilight and I don't plan on it. I've honestly never read a good vampire novel (I challenge anyone to give me one good reason that the end of Dracula was any thing buy anticlimactic), so I really don't get the fascination.
For me, it's not about the vampire-ness it's about Edward and Bella's love for each other that goes beyond the normal soul-mate. I believe girls want to love and be loved in an unrequited passion as is portrayed in the book. I love it for that reason. Forget that it's popular or what other people say. Read the damn book for yourself.
@The_Aftershock_3650@xanga - Damn right. Lols
I think the overall thing with vampires is just they're Sexy.
It's like, Damnnnnnn. Come hither, baby. Bite me. HAHAHHAA.
@mariel_the_best@xanga - Exactly.
Twilight sucks.
Liked the book . . . for a while. The movie. . . Not so much. I'm sorry, but Edward in the Movie and in the book seem sort of like what a women would consider the perfect guy, but he has no personallity . . . at all.
@The_Aftershock_3650@xanga - I think you hit it right on the money. The character's so "perfect" he's stalker-like, but uber strong/dangerous.
girls like vampires because because of the fact that there's the chance he could kill you, maybe its a bit narcissistic too. like, your dating a vampire and all his being un-alive is to kill humans but for some reason your the only one he doesn't want to eat. basically its wanting the guy that thinks your special and different. plus the whole, danger of he could kill you at any secound plus the whole "protector" angle; he's the hero that could be a villian. idk it's weird but fun.
i was very disapointed in the movie, too MTV meets Dracula. and i don't see the obsession with Edward, all he's a good guy but he angsts way too much.
"vlad" that's funny!
Mmmmmm... Russian history. Sexy.
Vlad the Impaler is dreamy.
It's because Edward glows and Vlad smells. (No, seriously! No one bathed back then!)
Vlad had a pretty suave mustache though...
How can anyone have a crush of a fictional character? ...and top it off by making it the weirdest one possible? Seriously, since when can vampires even have feelings? I doubt that Meyers ever read more than a sentence about Dracula.
I guess we can conclude one of 3 things about her.
A) She's a dork.
B)She watches 90's vampire movies that you see when it's too late for anyone to really be watching TV.
C) She must have grown up playing dungeons and dragons.
So, to all of you irritating, fallen for a fictional character, winning little Edward fans, maybe you can make your life better. Take action, date a dungeons and dragons dweeb. In no time you'll realize what nerdy crap you have become obsessed with, and someday you might stop irritating the sane population with talk about how much more like Edward every guy should be.
i didn't read twilight and i don't like vampires
@irishgrrl690@xanga - Actually I'm quite certain I heard stories about him bathing. They say he used blood.
@jtownangel57@xanga - Thank God for your sanity. It's become a rare gift.
Fun Fact - the mythology of supernatural vampire behavior is based on tuberculosis. Not so sexy now, is it?
@misswonderj@xanga - agreed. give me some Harry Potter (; yum.
@misswonderj@xanga - If that's how you feel about Twighlight, I guess there's some good in you after all.