Saturday, 31 January 2009
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Does Age Really Matter When Looking To Date Someone?
If you had a 10 year age difference with a girl, would you think about the age gap when dating her?
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- From: when90swastheshi@xanga
- Name: anonymous
- About Me: "No such thing as assurance"
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Comments (53)
It matters if she's underage. Other than that, it depends on the individual case.
Once she is not 17 and under or 60 and over.
Perhaps my view is somewhat coloured by my own parents being twenty years apart (my father was 40, my mother 20 when she gave birth to me) but I've had several relationships with close to a 10 year age gap, with me being older.
As with my parents, none of them have grown into anything but I don't feel it has been due to the age gap. Personally, I have had times when I've probably enjoyed the gap a tad too much when others saw us together. At times I've probably bemoaned it when we have wanted to do different things, both more fitting to our respective ages.
I'm not so certain an age gap should matter providing those involved realise that, at certain times, it will make for some differences of mood and opinion. This, of course, is the same with any relationship where there are vast differences between the couple. Be they culture, religion, up-brining or educational differences, they'll all have both positive and negative influences and if you can handle them, it most likely will not matter.
Obviously age matter to an extent, but as you get older the age differences don't matter as much. It probably matters the most at younger ages just because of all the different and unique life experiences people have during a relatively short period. People want different things at that time, so being even just a few years in age difference can have an impact.
@Roadlesstaken@xanga - Very true. I could not have said it better.
@Tigster@xanga - I also agree with you, I know some couples with a big age gap (10 or more years) and they get along really well.
It matters to an extent, maturity wise but i've also seen 40 year olds act as if they were 12 but still.
Age itself is really a trivial term. I have dating guys from 6 to 20 years older than me.. some successful and others were not. It's about the person.. not the age.
While i WILL say that big age gaps sometimes limits what couples can do together.. whether its because a) one is too young to go out and drink, or b) because age (and the old bones) don't allow you to do certain activities anymore. For me personally.. the only time age becomes an issue. is thinking about the future.. odds are.. the older of the 2 will want to settle down before the younger one.. ~but again.. its not always age, so much as the individual.
@pcnluv13@xanga - SO true.. i've know 40 year olds with the emotional maturity of a blueberry scone and 25 years olds who have there shit together..
no doubt about tht
Guys will date anyone that's legal. It's convincing the girl that's that hard part because there's a certain stigma that comes along with them dating younger guys. If you are younger than her, you'd have to be a pretty swell guy to win her attention, otherwise, just lie about your age.
as long as both are of legal age, it should not matter. it is the person and not really the age. and it is none of anyone elses business as long as the couple are happy, what should it matter to others. they could be just jealous.
@coolmonkey@xanga - Do you read what you write, or are you always that way?
Age means nothing, maturity means everything. What your damned birth certificate says has no bearing one way or another on what your personality will be like. Yes, there are generational trends, yes there are strict physical issues, but in any real sense regarding romantic entanglement, another person's 'age' should be more determined by their own thoughts and actions rather than the year in which they were born.
Rather than age, it really comes down to maturity and compatibility. People don't finish maturing until they're about 25 usually, and that's just the brain.
@Plague_Crafter@xanga - I don't dwell on the way things should be. I am more concerned about the way things are. In the real world, you have a very good chance of being shot down by an older chick by nothing more than prejudice. If young men dating older women were so common, then we not be having this discussion and Ashton and Demi would not be making headlines.
I used to think that age means nothing, but I have learned from experience that it often DOES matter.
My first marriage was to a man 7 years older than me -- I was 20, and he was 27. Thankfully, I was a mature 20 and didn't have Paris Hilton syndrome, but I still hadn't experienced enough in common with him for our marriage to work, even though we did have lots in common. When all was said and done, our marriage ended after a short 2 years because he wanted someone more set into a career and I wanted someone who didn't condescend to me over things I hadn't yet experienced.
I'm now 27, and I recently remarried. My husband is just six months older than me, and we have a lot more in common. We have gone through similar struggles balancing career and social life, and want similar things. Albeit, I have to remind him of more things that I "assume he should know" -- but I'd rather it be this way, so I can remind him nicely, than to be treated like a child as I was in the first marriage.
All of this being said, I think age SHOULDN'T matter, but it usually does.
Of course not. I'd just take her out, ignore the age issue and enjoy the early bird special with her.
3 year gap at the most for me, but even that's stretching it. I try to remain as close to my age group as possible.
Perhaps if she was ten years my junior, I'd have qualms. Ten years my senior is pushing it, but not completely out of the question. I do, however, prefer my own age bracket, three years each way.
@coolmonkey@xanga - That, I don't disagree with. I just feel that 'guys dating anything that's legal' and 'lying about your age' may be a couple of the most unethical things I've heard all night, and I should make not of it.
@Plague_Crafter@xanga - You have to pick your battles. In a world with far worse unethical practices, lying about your age to get into the pants of any chick over 18 is hardly anywhere near the top of the list.
People always talk about this age difference thing, but it's just like this; 'he is 5-10 years older than her. Omigosh!'
But what about him being the younger one? Not necessarily by many years, but just by a little.
I've NEVER had a guy who was older than me (other than maybe some unknown perverted 40yr.olds) flirt/hit on me. I don't really care, but, since I'm 19, that makes it bad because then I'd be dating minors, if I do go out with these guys who actually like me.......ugh.
<3
I'm 51 my GF is 34.... and satisfied
It's normally much easier to date someone older then you for guys anyway. At least I think so. yes she's younger and their are advantages but you also have to deal with a lot of drama and selfish bs nonsense. If you date a older women she has experience and sometimes doesn't bring as much drama. Like if your in your 20's. Look for a girl about 25 or older. So much less shit to deal with. of course I'm not one to talk being single and all and having no real dating experience. But hanging out with older girls is more fun sometimes.
no, because my pickup line would be 'are you underage?'