Monday, 12 January 2009
-
Sex: We Should Be Protective of The Most Intimate Part of Ourselves
Guest blog by Power_Ranger_Freak
There is no other part of the human experience where passion and principle find themselves at odds more often than our sexuality. This very personal part of humanity has also become one of the most public.
The media has latched onto the concept that sex sells. Politicians debate over sexuality. And at younger and younger ages, teens and pre-teens experiment with sex.
I never really thought that my views on sexuality were strange or arcane. I never thought of myself as old fashioned, but someone asked me the other day as we were discussing some blogs, “You have a real problem with physical stuff, don’t you?” I don’t think that I have a problem with “physical stuff.” I think I feel that we often cheapen ourselves and our sexuality.
I believe that you should only have sex with one person during your entire lifetime. I believe that you should be married to that person before engaging in sexual activity. I believe that anything that can potentially lead to orgasm is sex. I believe sex exists to bond two people together. It is a powerful catalyst.
It is not something that should be played around with. I believe that “We love each other” and “We’re going to get married anyway” are not valid reasons to have sex outside of marriage. I believe that “condoms don’t protect hearts.” I believe that certain topics should not be discussed in public forums. I believe that educating children about sex is something that many parents fail to do with disastrous results.
I also believe sex feels really good. I believe that in the right context, sex is a beautiful and natural part of who we are as human beings. I believe that we should not be ashamed of the fact that we are sexual beings, but we should be protective of this, the most intimate part of ourselves.
I believe that human beings are flawed, and we all make mistakes. I believe that we should be eager to forgive others of their faults, even as God is eager to forgive us. I believe that our principles should affect our actions.
I’d like to include this story, which I believe I have shared before. In college, I took a course on human sexuality. In that class, the professor asked, “How many of you believe that sex should be reserved for marriage?” I raised my hand along with a few other students.
The professor called on one of the young men in the back of the classroom who had raised his hand. He said, “You don’t believe in sex before marriage? You’re in a fraternity.” The young man responded, “I didn’t say that’s what I practice. It’s just what I believe.”
What are your beliefs on sexuality? Do your beliefs affect your life? Would you say my mine are narrow-minded and outdated?
-
recommend
- recs 6
-
share
-
email
- sent 0
Related Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to mancouch's Mancouch Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in mancouch's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: Power_Ranger_Freak@xanga
-
True
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 1 Views: 0 3019 Comments: 0 75 View all posts by Power_Ranger_Freak@xanga
Comments (78)
this post doesn't really fit in mancouch.
@Yosho@xanga - I don't think so either. Seems more for revelife or something.
@Yosho@xanga - @casmarie@xanga - Maybe they think men are the majority of people that are premiscuous? And want them to think about alternatives? Shrug...
Lol... actually, I kinda would say your beliefs are sort of out-dated. Then again, I love sex with a passion (as evidenced by my own blog) and if anyone were to ask me to give it up I would probably immediately stop talking to them and never resume communicating with them ever again.
Having sex before marriage doesn't necessarily mean having sex with twenty people before marriage. I am happy with my one experience. It gets better each time. I feel that having sex with my boyfriend is so right and such an amazing expression of our love for one another... And there's no reason to stop doing something so beautiful.
I agree that we need to be protective of sex, but mainly in reference to protecting other people. I feel that we need to protect people from being molested or raped or potentially having sex with someone because they're drunk out of their minds. Stuff like that. I don't see any reason to try to stop someone from having sex because they've been in a relationship and they want to, even if those two people never get married.
Sex can be such a beautiful, happy experience... There's no reason to deny ourselves that. And there's no reason to look down on anyone who enjoys that, in whatever way.
@Yosho@xanga - @casmarie@xanga - Its already been featured... do they really have to put it up again?!
@SerenaDante@xanga - your response is fantastic! took the words right out of my mouth.
@midgetmachine@xanga - I already commented on his site. He's a good friend of mine.
@midgetmachine@xanga - I try
.
There are reasons for and against premarital sex. It's important that people from either groups not force opinions on the other. People who have had sex before marriage have no right to trounce on the beliefs of those who stand by saving their virginity, but people who have not yet had sex have no right to put down those who have chosen to have sex before getting married.
I would say that your beliefs don't follow with "main stream society", but to call them outdated would be putting you down. People now are more open about sex (which may or may not be a bad thing, there are pros and cons). As long as you're not imposing your thoughts on to people I don't see a problem.
@midgetmachine@xanga -
@StewieIsMyHero@xanga -Just trying to get a little awareness on the topic.
I thought so...
I believe that people shouldn't wait until they're married, because then they end up finding out that they have no sexual chemistry too late... I think people should only have sex if they love someone. As in "in love." They don't call it "making love" because it's meant for one night stands or something.
Some people have more than one lovers in their life. More than one serious relationship. People even change and end up drifting apart.
But I do think that people should know when they are mature enough to have sex. And what I mean by that is, mature enough to know if you're being played or you actually are in love. For example, your average 13-15 year old (I'm not even going to address ages less than 13 because that is just common sense, I should hope.) is not generally mature enough to know if they are truly in love with someone and even make a decision that important. But, again, that is my opinion.
It's nice to see someone else out there who reflects my own views on the topic
@mancouch - Thanks for the feature.
I wouldn't call your beliefs "outdated" or "Narrow minded" no. Quite the opposite I'd call any one whoed say such a thing about you Outdated and Narrow minded.
Do I agree with your stated views on sexuality? That's a whole different beast.
I think it likely workes for you, or you wouldn't back up your beliefs with your actions. I don't disagree with all that you stated (In fact I probably agree with more than the apostle Paul would. -I Corinthians 7) and I certainly admire you for living the life that you preach. That is always good.
On the other hand I have many people, students and others who look up to me who come to me for advice. (More often than I would care for said advice reguards sex.) Thus I have to talor that advice to each person's background and situation and give the best possible advice I can to protect that person.
Ironic isn't it!!!
I think we believe the same things. narrowminded, ancient, maybe. Outdated, no. Narrow because there's no room for compromise, and I see that as a good thing. Ancient -- self explanatory. Not outdated because it's so applicable to our lives today.
Think of how many problems -- diseases, heartbreaks, every other problem you see on tv -- can be avoided by following these simple principles.
Oh, and yes, my beliefs permeate my very existence.
Good Post Power Ranger Freak. Most of these young twats complaining about your Post are so stinking ignorant and bored with their lives they have nothing else to do or think of besides sex. I've been a horny dawg since the age of 12-13, but I also have gifts-talents that I enjoy doing, not just sitting around thinking about sex like a girly twat. That's the problem with this generation, their too 'imagination-challenged".
I wouldn't say you're narrow minded in believing to save sex until after marriage. You're just another person who share the same beliefs with some others. There will always be those who will remain pure until marriage and those who already removed that pureness. It's only narrow minded when you push those beliefs onto others who don't share the same views.
I already lost my virginity, but it was about after one year into my first serious relationship. Both of us were ready and we protected ourselves. I believe that sex is a wonderful thing that is shared between two people. I'm not one for one night stands, though I don't judge others who do.
I know in an ideal world, abstinence is the only way to prevent pre-marital sex. However, it's never going to be an ideal world. What we need to focus on is the real world. As much as you would push teenagers and single adults to be abstinent, the next best thing you can do is prepare them to practice safe sex. It is ultimately their choice in the end after they juggle all the pros and cons. But if they decide to proceed, they will (hopefully) use the safe sex knowledge to be protected.
Don't get me wrong. I do believe that 15 year olds and such shouldn't be having sex because they are still young. But, if you are that concerned with the topic when you have children, talk to them about it in a mature way and educate them about it. I know that I learned sex education when I was 12 in school. A little young . . . maybe. But at least they are educating us about it.
However, I don't judge those who choose to remain pure. . . only if they don't push it upon me.
They are not outdated - they are what I believe in (and practise), too.
Glad to see someone who else believes in abstinence!
Agreed.
I believe those are good morals to live by, myself, I have tainted myself so its not as easy to say something like that...but I do believe every word you said.
@Yosho@xanga - Revelifers are like the Zionists. They run everything! It was a matter of time before their propaganda spilled over to mancouch.
@Yosho@xanga - @casmarie@xanga - @mancouch - I dunno. This is a topic that doesn't get addressed amongst guys very often, so thanks, Power Ranger Freak! Usually it's women who are the focus, urged to stay "pure" (or what have you). It's expected of guys that they sleep around, so to hear someone exhorting the opposite is refreshing. After all, the urge to mate is in our chromosomes. But isn't that what separates us from the animals—the ability to override the sex drive and say "No"? And I don't necessarily think it's a spiritual matter either. Perhaps more ethical? There are many non-religious people who practice abstinence. As nidan said, isn't it more about "living the life that you preach"?
@laytexduckie@xanga - I also have plenty of friends who have chosen not to wait (don't necessarily agree with the decision) but I still love them all the same. Nor do I judge them. I'm just as guilty of other things so I have no room to judge.
There's a different between judging and looking out for the best interests of others. I am 100% against minors (under 18) having sex. I know many who have and it messes them up. They're just not ready emotionally or intellectually. Their psyches are still forming, and our society does squat to prepare them for sexual relationships—it's so much more than the physical. There's the argument that they're going to do it anyway, so we should teach them about safe sex, but there's no such sure-fire thing. Girls will get pregnant; boys and girls will contact STDs. I'm not necessarily saying that this will happen to everyone, but it will happen to some, and neither pregnancies or VDs have quick fixes and often carry lifelong consequences. For young people, that can radically (and negatively) alter the course of their lives.
As a Libertarian, I believe wholeheartedly in individual liberties and freedoms. But as a teacher with students entering their teen years, I fear for them as they enter the murky waters of adolescence and all the temptations therein. I've no faith in education so I hope parents will teach them to be smart and to respect themselves and others.
Enter into a sexual relationship if you must, but for the love, be intentional and be careful!
@CONSTANCEVICIOUS@xanga - Good God! A man with an imagination! Greetings, sir!
@vocalcomposer@xanga - It's a matter of both the parents (most importantly) and teachers to help students make big decisions in their lives. It is still their decision in the end, but in a way, your teachings will be there in their head when they decide on it.