Guest blog by Sungball
Fact of life: Women correlate remembering things to caring about them.
If you happen to be a guy, you know that at any given moment in time, any slip up when it comes to answering a girl's questions on what their favorite color is... what their favorite flower is... or what color panties they were wearing that one random day you had sex (because she was wearing a special color that day and expects you to remember, you forgetful jerk!) is going to result in the girl thinking you don't care.
For example, I was at dinner the other night with my older sister, and whenever she brought up a family story about a time when we had done this or that, I had trouble remembering the details of the event. With each passing story, my sister grew ever more frustrated and finally blurted out, "Ugh! You never remember
anything! You don't care about this family!"
If I was smart, I could have avoided a headache's worth of trouble by diverting the situation in an intelligent way, but no... I fully engaged her, and we got into a fight in a public restaurant.
If you're a guy, chances are you're going to be put on the spot by a girl sometime in your life, and if you don't remember, she's going to get annoyed. So, to help you, I thought of some ways to win the battle against women and remembering things in some classic situations:
Girl: What is my favorite color?
Say angrily: I don't know. Do you even know
my favorite color?!
Girl: Your favorite color is [whatever it is; trust me, she'll remember that shit.].
Say angrily: No, it's not!
Girl: What? (She'll be really confused, but now she can't get mad at you for not remembering.) What's your favorite color then?
Answer calmly: It's brown.
(Your favorite color is now brown for the rest of your life. Just deal with it.)
Girl: When did we first start talking?
Say: It was exactly (make up some arbitrary high figure) fifty one billion, six hundred seventy-eight thousand, one hundred twenty-two, point one three six six eight seven zero three two five nanoseconds ago.
Girl: .......
Girl: I mean like what day?
Say: Sorry, it's not my fault you can't do the conversion.
Girl: When is my birthday?
(Create a distraction while you get on your computer and log onto Facebook)
Say: Oh, I know. You think I'm one of those guys who doesn't remember important dates, right? You think just because I have a penis, I'm biologically destined to be a forgetful jerk – the prototypical bumbling buffoon who scrambles around the day of someone's birthday to get them a last minute gift. Let me tell you something, missy! I know your birthday. I know exactly when your birthday is. That's right. That is sooooo right. And I'm going to tell it to you right now (You should be done getting to her profile page by now). It is May 27th, 1983. Ha!
Girl: How long did we talk the first time we talked on the phone?
Say: Do
you even know how long we talked for the first time we talked on the phone?
Girl: Yeah!
Say firmly: I'll bet dinner tomorrow night that you don't know how long we talked for the first time we talked on the phone.
Girl: Okay! We talked for five hours!
(Now that you got her to tell you the answer)
Say: Wrong!
Girl: What?
Say: It was more like four hours and fifty-nine minutes.
(If she insists that she was closer to the actual time, check the phone records. You have a 50/50 chance now. Good luck!)
Girl: What was I wearing that day?
Say: All I remember is your nipples were really perky that day. I really can't remember. Your nipples were jutting out there pretty good, like little love nodes. It was really distracting.
(A very believable answer. Perky nipples + guys = memory flies out the window)
Girl: What did I order for lunch that day?
Say: What did I order for lunch the week after that?
Girl: I asked you first.
Say: I asked you first.
Girl: No, I did.
Say: No, I did.
Girl: Are you copying me?
Say: Are you copying me?
Girl: Stop copying me.
Say: Stop copying me.
Girl: Ugh, I give up.
Say: I win!
Okay, that's all I got. And if a girl asks you something really important that you really should remember (like when you first had sex), say your mom beat you with a frying pan when you were a little kid, and your dad threw you down the stairs, giving you a concussion, and you have serious memory issues. If you're Asian like me, it'll be totally believable.
What do you do to remember things? Have you ever been caught forgetting something? What was it?
Comments (18)
yeah i dont remember
Lol I'm a girl and I forget EVERYTHING. Mostly because I don't care about stuff. But my boyfriend is something that I really do care about, so if he tells me his favorite color or expects me to remember certain dates, I will definitely remember them. It really does have to do with how much you care about someone - one of my "friends" can never remember anything I tell her about me because she's too wrapped up in her own life and so can't actually deal with other humans. My boyfriend, on the other hand, has always remembered my birthday and my favorite color. Of course, it's not like I quiz him about it, so maybe the lack of pressure is more likely to guarantee his memory actually working, but whatever. I still do think that if you really care about someone, you'll do your best to find out everything you can about them and remember that information. And if you're NOT at all interested... well then, why bother?
lmao, love the post but I think that it applies to most sentimental girls. I find it exhausting to try to keep track of the the day and the hour that i first met a bf. or do you start counting from the day of your first date or the day that you saw him at a party in the corner for 2 seconds...
although, if my bf forgot my birthday i'd be upset. its a freakin holiday so that's a huge reminder!
LOL omg.. "If you're Asian like me, it'll be totally believable." I love that.. Just awesome. It's hilarious and it perpetuates a true stereotype XD
Anyways, I don't expect my bf to remember any shit like this because I can barely even remember what he told me yesterday. Although, our anniversary, of course, I expect him to remember, and I totally expect him to remember my birthday. But that's pretty much it.. And also if I have things coming up that I specifically told him to remember and he forgets, I'd be mad. I mean, just put it on your calendar in your phone, jeez. But all those little things are just ridiculous.
hahaaaaaaaaaaaaa, it can be switched around too.
I don't really care if my boyfriend remembers things; just that he takes an interest, which he does.
I'd rip my boyfriend's fun parts off if he acted that way towards me. :]
I'm a girl, and I have difficulty remember what someone just said to me two minutes ago. I apparently don't pay attention to conversations very well! But I have a very good visual memory, so if I can place events, I can remember almost anything.
I forget everything.
Thankfully, he does too, so when we discovered that neither of us remembered what our anniversary was, we just set it on the first, so it'd be easy to remember.
If you ever dated a girl who expected you to remember what she wore or what she ordered for lunch, my advice run the other way because those are clearly signs that she's a psycho.
If you can get the birthday and anniversary down, you're good to go in my book.
~Big Sis~
This was absolutely hilarious!!!
I, for one, have a terrible memory when it comes to a lot of things. If he forgets, I might be a little disappointed but I won't say "You don't care about me" and yell at him. I'd be really sad if he forgot something important like my birthday. But if I don't remember his, it's fair game.
haha girls are asking for trouble if they interrogate their guy like that...personally, i never would...due in no small part to the fact that my memory sucks like a guy's! :X
well, it's a sign that she cares. I've date guys that I don't like before and didn't remember much more than their name.
Haha this was a funny post.
i really forget everything
Any girl that gets that upset about small things like that are not worth the trouble.
haha, true. i remember everything.