Guest blog by Puff I always thought that getting married was a part of life, sort of something that you had to do in order for it to be complete.
I'm not married yet, but it seems like not getting married is the advice I'm getting from my married friends. Surprisingly, they're all guys!
Whenever the conversation of marriage comes up, the married men would sigh and then tell me to stay away from marriage at all costs.
I would always ask why and without explanation, they say, "Trust me!". It's almost like they aren't allowed to talk about it. I think it's not being able to explain things.
Whatever the reason is, staying away from marriage seems to be the best advice you can get from a married man. It's also the kind of advice that you should take purely on the amount of people giving it, but curiosity takes over. Besides, who the hell wants to be alone for the rest of their life? Not me.
Can anyone shed some light on this matter? Help a brother out! Tell me why I should avoid marriage like the plague (or the exact opposite and get married).
Comments (39)
to me getting married is making a commitment to the one that you love and will love for the rest of your life (of course that doesnt always happen). But its something that you do when you know its for you. No one can tell you to get married or not to get married. Thats your choice. I know I want to get married, eventually.
You're going to take advice from someone who gave no explanation and just a "trust me?" LOL.
I personally would love to be married; I think that's programmed into the minds of women when were young for the most part, the whole idea of finding "prince charming" and getting married.
However if I were to be married, it damn well better not feel like it, you know? It'd better be just as fun as the dating process was (;
Those men are idiots. Trust me. Marriage is enjoyable if you find the right person.
you're stuck with fucking one girl the rest of your life.
@abcxunt@xanga - I agree.
And those guys are fucking stupid. They mind as well NOT be in a relationshp.
most of my guy friends who got married say that it's a good thing, but not what they expected.
because who wants to be alone when theyre old. (notice the lack of the question mark? its not a question b/c the answer is always no one). its those around you that will matter most when your getting those gray hairs. marriage is about dedicating your life to something bigger than ones self. makign memories with those who you love and finding happiness and sharing it. lets hope you get what im saying. but if youre not ready to marry DONT. you dont want to jump in and realize the tide is too strong and drowned and then have to answer quesitons with "trust me". wtf? lol
Thank you so much for the subscription! :D
Some people don't like the idea of being with one person for the rest of their lives.
It's easier to break up with someone than it is to divorce them.
I have no idea why it's such a big deal. If you end up co-habitating for 50 years in a committed relationship, how is that so much better than actually being married? Is there something magical (and horrible) that happens when you say "I do"?
Or are all these naysayers just wishing they weren't in a committed relationship of any kind?
I dunno. I have rotten luck with guys, I don't think I'll ever get married. All the guys I have ever dated tell me I'm far too emotional. I've sort of given up on the whole marrying thing [even though I'm only 16] I don't think I'll ever find the right guy. They all tell me I'm not good enough. I've had like 12 boyfriends up to this point. They all tell me I'm too emotional and hard too understand. So I'm not good enough.
Maybe you're buds were just never supposed to get married. They sound like little butt ticks to me anyway. Do what you want, don't turn into me.
The thing about marriage is that it isn't mandatory...at least not in America and most places in the world. If married people are so miserable, they have no one to blame but themselves. Seriously, no one forces anyone into marriage. So what if there's pressure from society to get married? Get over it! Live life the way you want to. You're only going to live once so you might as well make it a happy life. The truth is, most people know before they get married whether or not they're the marrying kind. I have no sympathy for people who base life long commitments on butterflies and infatuation and wind up unhappy. By the time most people are ready to get married, they have seen their fair share of successful and unsuccessful relationships. It doesn't take a genius to see what to do and what not to do. If you're still unsure, then you're clearly not ready.
Marriage like every relationship, takes work on both parts. You will have good, bad, horrible and amazing times. That's just life.
I want to get married.
Xo
If your friends truly felt like that, I'm sure that they would be divorced by now. I think it's just a guy thing and they probably love the idea that they can say that.
find ur own meaning
I'm a girl and I can tell you why you should stay away from marriage - everything falls into a rut. I'm certainly not anywhere close to being married (not that I would ever want that anyway), but I look at my own parents and at my friends' parents and all I can see is... they're together because they have joined bills and kids to take care of, but not because they really love each other anymore.
For me as a girl though, I'm a little bit terrified of ever having children, and that's actually one reason why I wouldn't want to get married either. Most guys I've talked to say they expect to have children once they get married, and I wouldn't want my man to expect that from me, because I wouldn't want to do it.
I would like to get married one day and spend the rest of my life with the love of my life (I just have to find her first). I don't think getting married is too bad, unless you don't want to be committed to only one girl. It's your call man.
I was with my childrens father for 7 years, 3 months after my son was born we split because I found out he had cheated on me. We remained friends, and i still could not have asked for a better father for my children... but SO glad we never married.
The man i am with now tells me all the time he wants to get married, that i am the woman he will be with the rest of his life, but we have yet to tie the knot. I am 33 years old 34 in March, and starting to get a little antsy, although I am ok with our relationship.... there is a certain time in your life when you start to look at things in a different light. I want to feel secure in our relationship and our future, I want to know if something was to happen to him that i would be able to manage the lifestyle he has provided for our family without him here. Yes, that does start to creep into the financial matters, but these are things you have to consider even though they are touchy. Marriage isn't for everyone, but for some its what they have always wanted... white picket fence and all (excuse me, i think i just puked a little) bleh... I'm a simple woman, who wants a simple life, but I also want to know that if and when something was to happen to me or him, that my family will still be taken care of.
It's all about what YOU want out of life. Just do not jump into anything, take your time, and if your being rushed... question why.
That is such a cliche thing of your friends to say. Maybe marriage isnt all rainbows and gum drops but there is a reason why so many couples tie the knots every year! I know i want to get married and have kids some day.
@dropsofjupiterihh@xanga - Yeah... Like in those American sitcoms.. It just sounds 'cool' n kind of 'macho' saying it...
it's like this, married men who tell you not to, shouldn't have gotten married. Either way marrage is not a must. If someone comes along that you find that you love and you want to marry her, then go for it. If not, there really is no reason to get married then.
@MissSmartHottie@xanga - Exactly! That's how it is most of the time when a guy says that. There are other times though when it's a warning against not neccesarily getting married but who you are marrying.
Marriage? 자칫하다가는 구질구질한 수레바퀴로 전락해버릴 수 있는 위험천만한 선택이 될 수도 있다고 생각합니다, 한마디로 이야기하자면.
What I understand about most guys is that they want the cake and they want to eat it too. A lot of them want a woman to go home to and to love them, but sometimes they want the oppisitte. When your married, you can't do that because you made a promis to be with that one woman for the rest of your life. Marriage is not something to be taken lightly, it's a lifelong committment and that scares people. I think you should get married one day, but DO NOT rush into it.
@abcxunt@xanga - That was awesome!! Love it!! My divorce is costing a shit load!!