Wednesday, 07 January 2009

• Why Do Girls Go To The Restroom in Pairs?

  
  

   
  

  Ok, I'm going to say what every friggin guy wonders: What the hell happens in the girls' restroom when you girls go in pairs'?
  
  Last time I checked, I don't remember any new evolutionary development in the XX gender that required multiple people to help in defecating or urinating.
  
  Or was there?! What am I missing here that you girls need to go together?
  
  And fine -- I do ask, but I always get the same answer. *Cue sarcasm* "to talk about YOOOUUUU!!!!"
  
  And then that's usually followed by incessant, girly, Power puff-smelling, Charlie's Angels, Sanrio giggling.  Because no female will ever fess up to what happens behind those swinging doors of the porcelain temple.

  Here are the current standing theories of what happens when girls go to the bathroom:
  

  1. WWE Tag Team Peeing

  In the style of the world-wide wrestling federation, I imagine that girls take turns in peeing so they can save water.  But it works just like tag team wrestling - once a girl is done, like a good relay runner passing the baton, she taps in her friend to quickly take over. 

  2. Toilet Paper Buddy

  From what I understand, toilet paper is like diamond mining in public restrooms - so you need more than one person to secure a roll of toilet paper for the both of you.  In case one stall doesn't have any left - no problem, just knock next door where your friend will be and BAM! - another backup supply of toilet paper.  "Can you spare a square?!"

  3. Girls are Spies for Kazakhstan
  

  Whenever someone is ultra secretive, you always have to wonder why and whenever something cannot be explained - it has to do with Kazakhstan.
  

  When they go to the bathroom they send burst transmissions to their mother country about secrets of their country.  As they prepare for invasion they use the 'bathroom' as a secret base where they can convene and operate - and even meet other Kazakhstani’s on covert missions.  We're ON TO YOU!
  

  4. Ex-convict and the Henchwoman

  It's going to be hard to figure out who is who - but one of them is an ex-convict, and the other is her henchwoman.  All part of the mafia - girls need to go in pairs, in case there's an attempted 'whacking.'  
  
  This way one can protect the other.  That scene in The Godfather where Michael Corleone gets the gun from the toilet?  All inspired by girls.
  

  5. Girls are Aliens
  Whenever there's anything confusing about girls, it just adds more proof to my theory that girls are aliens.

  Any idea guys?  Still confused? Let's ask some of the women.  Ladies, would you care to share the secret, why do you go to the bathroom in pairs and what do you do in there?
  

  
  

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