Bar Fight: Abraham Lincoln vs Jack Sparrow

Tuesday, 06 January 2009

Bar Fight: Abraham Lincoln vs Jack Sparrow
Continuing our pursuit for the ULTIMATE bar fighter - last time everyone agreed that Honest Abe would beat the living piss out of the Hoff. Definitely a reasonable assessment - The dude was tall, had a top hat, and arguably the father of the goatie. Who messes with someone with a top hat?
So for this installment - let's throw it down. Let's hit up the pirate of all pirates.
Abraham Lincoln vs Jack Sparrow
Who would win in a bar fight? GOOOOOO

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I want to say Abe. He was smarter.
- 1/6/2009 12:02 PM
- TheGiantSlayer@xanga (message)
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Lincoln ftw.
- 1/6/2009 12:03 PM
- JadedJanissary@xanga (message)
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I don't know, man. Unless Lincoln had some flippin' awesome ninja skillz that we never knew about, I think Sparrow has the edge.
But then, of course, ninja skillz being what they are, if Lincoln did have them then we'd never know about it...
*imagines Abraham Lincoln totally flipping out and chopping people's heads off while playing a wicked guitar riff*
Hmm...
- 1/6/2009 12:07 PM
- ChrisRusso@xanga (message)
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Lincoln
- 1/6/2009 12:10 PM
- Spectre_NY@xanga (message)
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wow I'm surprised Abe is getting so many votes. Captain Jack always has some sly move up his sleeve, literally. I'd have to go with Jack Sparrow.
- 1/6/2009 12:14 PM
- kash@healthkicker (message)
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Abe. Sparrow is too sexy to fight.
- 1/6/2009 12:21 PM
- misswonderj@xanga (message)
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Sparrow is a wuss! Our 16th president, for the win!
- 1/6/2009 12:22 PM
- PsychedelicBreakfast@xanga (message)
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Jack Sparrow. He's so daft but it always works.
He'd so win.
- 1/6/2009 12:33 PM
- StargazingSuzie@xanga (message)
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Lincoln in a bar fight, if I was refereeing the bar fight, Abe would wins
- 1/6/2009 12:50 PM
- my_final_username@xanga (message)
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In a bar fight eh? Probably Lincoln although I really like Captain Jack Sparrow.
Reason? Lincoln probably is a real fighter secretly, and besides, what did he do? He free the slaves, he got backups ;)
If anything, where's Captain's backup? Besides, I don't recall seeing Captain fight as good...
I am going for Lincoln.
- 1/6/2009 1:11 PM
- LiLbabeSwT@xanga (message)
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personally, i think jack would be too drunk on rum to be able to properly fight in a bar fight. or he'd run away, as he's apt to do in the movies.

i say abe for the bar fight win.
- 1/6/2009 1:24 PM
- lastlyfirst@xanga (message)
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Lincoln
- 1/6/2009 1:33 PM
- Not_a_real_site@xanga (message)
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Lincoln, again - although not in as crushing a smackdown as he laid upon The Hoff.

Abe has to simply refuse to chase Sparrow and only fight when he's close enough to hit.
- 1/6/2009 1:48 PM
- SwordAndSacrifice@xanga (message)
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I say it is a tie.
- 1/6/2009 2:41 PM
- sarahb_86@xanga (message)
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lincoln.
no doubt.
- 1/6/2009 3:01 PM
- macbrushes@xanga (message)
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Jack Sparrow.
- 1/6/2009 3:54 PM
- Romans_837@xanga (message)
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Honest Abe would bitch slap that little weirdo. Abe was 6' 4", a wrestler and strong as an ox. After pounding the little bastard, he'd probably have him hung - for being a pirate.
I read that Lincoln didn't hunt or fish because he didn't like killing animals. He'd hang this pirate though, for sure.
- 1/6/2009 4:19 PM
- Lesabre500@xanga (message)
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JACK! the only person who could ever beat Jack was Elizabeth Swann.
- 1/6/2009 4:35 PM
- cokeaddict@xanga (message)
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jack sparrow cause i want to see a pirate vs ninja brawl
- 1/6/2009 6:06 PM
- chrischoi@revelife (message)
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Uh..Captain Morgan? Do you have any Captain Morgan in you? Do you want some? (I'm submitting a 3rd equally deserving candidate for a raucous bar brawl)

@chrischoi@revelife - I would have never guessed a reveler would hang out here in the manshow online...
- 1/6/2009 6:31 PM
- SandraDeeDees@xanga (message)
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I say Jack. But then I'm biased for obvious reasons.
- 1/6/2009 6:56 PM
- di_ya@xanga (message)
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Sparrow. Abe would keep trying to hit him and he'd keep dodging in the most absurd ways like tripping over things and would eventually just score one good hit; KO.
- 1/6/2009 6:58 PM
- midgetmachine@xanga (message)
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i think jack sparrow would definitely win because he's all fidegety and stuff and would dodge all of the hits although i'm tempted to vote for abe just so i can see how far he gets
i'd like to see abe fight a ninja!!
- 1/6/2009 8:45 PM
- BaZoOkArOmZ@xanga (message)
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Lincoln > Sparrow by KO in Round 2
- 1/6/2009 9:17 PM
- disbejorge@xanga (message)
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@Lesabre500@xanga - I am going to have to agree with Lesabre here, Lincoln would utterly lay the living smackdown on sparrow and yes hang him after it was all said and done.
- 1/7/2009 10:25 AM
- persy@xanga (message)
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