Guest blog by RoidBear I'm sure many of you have seen the show
The Pick Up Artist. It's interesting to see how a group of guys who have difficulty talking to girls are taught to do just that, to pick up women.
The challenges and lessons in the show are aimed to teach a group of men how to speak to women without being afraid and getting "burned".
I think it's interesting to see how difficult it is for some of these men to even approach a woman, let alone a group of women at a club or social gathering.
One can learn a lot from the show because they give us, guys, tips on how to begin talking to a woman (or groups of women) and keep them interested.
I had never actually thought about all the technicalities that are related to talking to women.
These can include how you stand, lean in or out, talk over your shoulder, and your hand movements.
When I talk to women, I tend to simply act like myself, and I've noticed that I try to make girls laugh as much as possible.
By making girls laugh, it's my way of flirting with them and getting them to feel more at ease around me.
Of course, rude girls have ignored me, but that never discourages me from talking to the nice girls around her.
Some of my girl friends have said they have been hit on by some of the weirdest guys. They say these guys tend to act really creepy by trying to act "cool", and look at them as if they were a piece of honey glazed ham.
Some of these friends even say they are always attracting the weirdest groups of guys, no matter where they go. When I asked them how they would prefer to be approached by men, all of them agreed they want a guy to be honest with them from the get-go, and not look at them as sexual figures.
Guys, in what places (clubs, parties, etc.) have you tried to pick up women? Do you find it easy to approach women? Do you prefer approaching one woman or a group of women? Ladies, have you ever been hit on? Was it cool or was it just awkward?
Comments (30)
I don't try to "pick up" women. Going at it with that mindset, no wonder guys seem creepy.
I've flirted with women before, but not with the intention of "picking them up."
I usually do the make-them-laugh thing, but I'm also honest (I'm too scared to lie).
Yeah I usually flirt a little bit. Laugh at something we both find hiiilarious but that just usually puts me in the friend zone.. =(
Haha, this one time I was at my Uni and it was sooo warm and I was fanning myself with a piece of paper and some random guy came up to me and he was like "yeah, it is really hot in here isn't it?" and to myself I thought "if he uses a cheesy pick up line, i'm walking away" but he didn't and it was fine, we just chatted away about random things and he tried to get my number, but then i was intercepted by a guy friend hahaha.
movies don't teach you what you need to know. what you really need to know comes from experience. if you doubt, go doubt. but just remember the writers are people doing their jobs to appease the audience. yes, I've talked to stranger-women. some r now my friends. it's cool. but not everyone can do it and they come off getting burned or wierd.. just rock ur style and be a straightshooter.
If we've just met, don't look deep into my eyes, I'm not going to fall irresistibly in love with you. That comes after a late night conversation and a couple shots of vodka. Haha. Not really. But it is insanely creepy when a stranger walks up to me, says hi, and stands there staring at me with this dreamy look on his face. Excuse me, did you want something? Guys who are very laid back are the best; it's easier to trust them because then I get the impression that they don't have a specific objective in mind. They also don't come off as desperate.
All I can say is.. I don't need to pick up women, I'm already engaged...
But.. very interesting blog.
And thank you for the add/subscription. Accepted :).
- TP Photography
I don't fall for lines! I have heard them all believe me!
@TP_Photography@xanga - That's great you're already engaged. You don't have to keep looking for a girl anymore.
@watersedge62@xanga - What do you fall for?
Lol, I'm not really at the age where I'm at social places that would invite me getting hit on, but I am quickly approaching that stage in life XD Lucky me, right? T=
Your approach to talking to women seems very simple and effective, though. Laughter is the way to a woman's heart, the way that food and sex have been said to be the way to a man's heart. I mean, think about it; have you ever heard any woman say "Ooh, he makes me so mad, I love him"? or "Wow, he's soo creepy, he intrigues me"? Lol, I didn't think so. Just don't try too hard to be funny; that can be creepy, too. XP
@LidoAznChickXD@xanga - I know my limits, so I don't use humor too much...then I can be in danger of being labeled as a creep. That's wouldn't be good!
I get hit on a lot. It wasn't always that way and I'm trying to figure out what happened to make it so...I think it's my whole I know who I am and where I'm going confidence" that's gets a lot of them.
But I never get hit on by the guys I'm always secretly wondering about. "Oh hello handsome fellow in the back drinking his whatever it is, I think I'm going to go talk to you, you seem charming and funny and smart. Let's hope this goes somewhere."
"Hey so, (insert witty observation of the environment) right?"
"Oh, yeah, I didn't see that at first, but yeah! so...(conversation continues into fruitful new friendship)"
Alas, friendships.
Hmm, grow into something more will ya?
Except for you creepy weirdos who wanna get in my pants, no, and a big no thanks to you weirdo with missing teeth taking my order.... :/
if i think the guy's creepy, i tell him i've got a 16" penis i'd love to shove up his ass.
@RoidBear@xanga - well everyone has a different taste, mine is just someone I can laugh to, enjoy life with, who I can be a better me with but at the same time being within it's limits, a person of my own, and to surpass those limits by going with that someone to do things we both have never done before. To have a fairytale come true.. isn't something you see every day, but in my eyes, she is perfect. That is all that matters ;). I believe that there IS someone out there for everyone. I never went looking for love, it found me first.. actually, .. it found both of us.
My fiancee is my hero, my first and my last :).
One and only, and my everything all in one!
@abcxunt@xanga - HI JESSIE LOL.
I'm not single right now, but one time I was chatting with this guy at a party (my bf hadn't arrived yet) and he ended up asking me out. As soon I told him I was taken he just... disappeared. It sucked because it was a fun conversation.
I guess this isn't necessarily a tip for
I'm not single right now, but one time I was chatting with this guy at
a party (my bf hadn't arrived yet) and he ended up asking me out. As
soon I told him I was taken he just... disappeared. It sucked because
it was a fun conversation.
I guess this isn't necessarily a tip for "picking up women", but guys,
it really makes us feel shitty when you treat us like we're worthless
once you get a girlfriend or realize we're not on the market. That's a
big part of why guys and girls can't just be friends- because a lot of
the time, guys won't pay any attention to a girl they can't sleep
with. On the romantic front- guess what? Someday we may break up with
that boyfriend, and if we know you to be a nice guy who isn't just out
for a piece of ass, maybe we'll think of you.
Sorry about the weird cut-off comment.
@TP_Photography@xanga - It's great hearing all this from you. It makes me very hopeful that I'll find the perfect girl for me some day.
@ghostwriter13@xanga - I hear you on that on a guy perspective, there a few and plenty of guys who know how to treat a lady right, with respect, like a human being, but it's common that people seem to find what they see on the outside.. I think personally, it's a complete lie when people say "looks do not matter", as I believe they do even if it's just a little bit, but I DO believe that looks "don't matter MUCH". (to me). There are gentlemen out there, men who aren't boys, men who have a head on straight and can treat a girl like a princess, yet still have the confidence and decency to know how to stand his ground for himself, and for her as well. There is someone out there for everyone, you don't always have to look, for someone to arrive in your life ;)
@RoidBear@xanga - believe me man, from reading your previous blogs, it's a surprise a person like you hasn't already found her or someone hasn't already found you. But no worries mate, you will get only the best. It's what you deserve.
Cheers!
i hate groups of cocky guys who try to score bids in an obnoxious manner. i also don't like it when a guy tries really hard to sound like someone they're not. i think it's best for the guy to be himself and have a nice conversation. if the girl is interested, the conversation could get flirtacious. i love cute guys who can be a little shy and who don't walk around as if they're hot shit.
I'm not exactly sure what they mean by upfront and honest while not wanting to be thought of sexually. If you took sexual desire and attraction out of the equation, no woman would EVER be approached again.
I approach women anywhere I care to, but it's easiest when they are alone. I rarely get shot down by the woman I'm talking or dancing with. Almost always it's because of a bitter, lonely, jealous friend who deliberately steps in the way.
I've been hit on tons of times. It's awkward when they say weird things or ask inappropriate questions, but most guys are pretty honest about it.
@TP_Photography@xanga - Thanks bro! I'm keeping my eyes open for sure!
Have a great one!
Never pay attention to anyone that is a self-proclaimed "pick-up artist." They are nothing more than charlatans trying to peddle their snake oil. Most of the girls on those shows are probably planted by the producers anyway, or they just air the girls that are receptive to the guy to give it a distorted sense of magic, kind of like what David Blaine does for his street shows.
The truth is, picking up women is more about a state of mind and your demeanor, rather than cheap parlor tricks. Girls go to clubs and bars to be picked up, but they are not stupid. The techniques that work are not universal, instead, they are regional. That is why you should follow the players in your vicinity, not some all-inclusive book with the "miracle elixir."