This is a guest blog submitted by Kash
As a guy I hate it when any one of my friends says, “Would you hit that?” when a woman walks by or about any one of our girl friends.
It’s probably one of the most degrading lines a guy can say about women, I would know, I had to learn the hard way. I used to say that about women a few years back, I thought it was funny as long as it wasn’t hurting anyone. That was until my sisters caught me saying it.
They both told me guys whisper that line in school referring to them and it’s degrading to be brought down to a sexual object. They berated me for it, and I was ashamed. I should have known better, but I was glad my sister put me in my place.
I never knew how much it actually hurt women, plus I didn’t even think many of them heard it. They also said lines like that also hurt the chances of a good guys because many women have a preconceived notion that most guys are sleaze balls and they’ll less likely to give a guy a chance because of it.
So guys, when you’re out with your buddies saying things like, “would you hit that?”, just think how your sister or girlfriend would feel if another guy was talking about them in that manner.
Be honest, have you ever said, “would you hit that?” or any other degrading line about a woman you weren’t dating? What did you say?
Ladies, have you ever heard a guy say degrading things about you or someone you know? How did it make you feel?
Comments (107)
If I ever hear my boyfriend say that about another girl, he will never hear from me again.
To be honest, Im a girl, and I ask my friends that all the time about guys, so sorry but we degrade you too ;)
I'm a girl [I love how so far, all comments are by girls] and it really bothers me!! I wouldn't say I was attractive, but it all breaks down to this.
There are two typs of "Would you hit that?" comments. There are the ones where it's aimed to say "hey, that chicks pretty hot. Wanna 'bang' her?" Sorry for my language... but....
Then there's type too. "Let's say the line sarcastically to tell all my friends that she's ugly and laugh when someone sarcastically says yes back."
It's so annoying and degrading and I'm so glad you brought this up.
I think the bottom line is, as you said, women have preconceived ideas that all men are sleazeballs and really just looking for a piece of ass...pardon my language. And honestly, i have yet to have that proven differently to me. The other part of this, and i'm not sure why, but guys just aren't slick...they do NOT know how to check out a girl without the entire world knowing about it! So, while women DO say the same thing, we are a little more sly about it! Also, I think women look at men and while they say that they'd "hit it", I think what they are really saying is that the guy is hot and if given the chance they would have him as their bf/husband/s.o., because while guys think about sex 24/7, women think about relationships and what they mean, etc.
I've said something roughly equivalent before. Personally, I don't feel degraded at all when I find out women blatantly want to fuck me, but I guess I'm a lower form of life and a disgrace to humanity.
ya know, it's not fair that one group will do it yet is disgusted that it's said upon them. I've said it with some friends. I don't mind if it's said upon me. but I don't really find it degrading. kinda a way to figure our what kind of girls you're into. like someone said, a fun way of saying that you think that person is hot and you'd have an interest in them. but mainly me and my friends will play a kind of "safer" game. guess her age
hmm, is she legal or not. you really can never tell the age of women these days.
Dude you're not supposed to tell the girls that. You're supposed to say that to your buddies, the girls aren't ever supposed to find out, that's the point. It's not degrading if you're saying it to your buddies because they're thinking the same thing. Jeez.
@roxics@xanga - well I never said it to a girl. My sisters just overheard me saying it when I was with my buddies.
I can't remember a time when I said something like demeaning because I think that it's just messed up. I have a younger sister, so I wouldn't want anybody to say that about my sister. I hate it when girls think that all guys are jerks because it leaves the nice guys to be generalized. Great post!
who gives a fuck (freedom of speech)
if you are gonna be upset about somebody else's OPINION of you
then you have a lot more to work on
and like most of the comments say the girls speak the same way
and let's put it this way
how many girls ask for their friends opinion on aguy
honestly, what's the difference?
we all know usually nothing comes outta askin a question like that
it's two guys bullshittin together
case dead
I'll ask my friend's opinion on another person, but I won't use the phrase, "Would you hit that?" I'll ask, "What do you think of him/her? I think he/she's pretty hot/cute/insertyourchoiceofflatteringadjectivehere." There's a big difference between the two - one is degrading the person to a sex object, the other is appreciating someone's good looks.
And the "case" is not "dead" just because you say it's "dead."
Well, I have to say, it's always natural for the first "I'd hit that" comment to feel flattering. The next hundred times? Not so much. The first time, one feels sexy. One walks away and can't help but grin. After the next couple times, not only do you just wish you could wash away the realization that they're probably picturing your naked body, but you're also realizing you're probably one of hundreds. It's not a special thing. It's an embarrassing, degrading thing. Yep. I said it, the most generic word for this situation: degrading. But it is.
And no, I don't say "I'd hit that" when I see an attractive fellow. Such a statement may have crossed MY MIND once or twice but... well, the most I'd do is perhaps blush and look away, embarrassed to have even noticed. Isn't it strange how that is a natural response?? For women, at least?
See, I suppose the problem for guys isn't that they're "horndogs." In fact, I'm sure of it. Sorry ladies, but I know plenty of you go to bed thinking of sex just as often as dudes. The only difference? We're discreet.
And, you know what? Discretion is all I ask. :]
-Lauren. 16.
i haven't said that, but in all honesty, that phrase came about after i was committed to someone.
In all honesty, speaking as a girl, I don't really care. My boyfriend and I have sat around downtown and analyzed which girls are hot and which are not, and which ones are "our" type. (Oh did I not mention I'm bi?)
My only problem with the line, is that the guy assumes (usually) that he could. Just because you would do a girl, does not mean you could, or she wants to do you back. Guys need to understand that they are not the ultimate gift to women. When my guy and I discuss it, and I am guilty of using a phrase like "would you do her?", neither he nor I assume that we actually could, even if we wanted to. It's more, if that woman walked up to you right now and propositioned, what would you say? It's a neat little game to play, and we learned a lot about what the other person like as far as looks (threesomes are fun...)
So no, the line isn't all that big of a deal to me. If some guy wants to speculate on whether he would have sex with me or not, so be it. Just as long as that guy isn't under some assumption that I'm actually interested!
@Stabyou2@xanga I totally agree with that.
Seriously, I think it's a compliment.
@TheAngryQueerFeminist@xanga - I think it's the same thing, whether you're saying "yeah I wanna have sex with him/her" or "I think that person looks good." Is it not the same thing? You're judging a person on their looks. Everyone does it, it's not wrong, but it's annoying to try to say certain comments are 'degrading' while others are perfectly fine.
What are you saying when you say someone is good looking? If it doesn't matter then why bring it up? Of course it matters.
People are often friendlier and want to get to know good looking people more than ugly ones. This is why typically when you see people hanging out together there is a group of good looking people with maybe one or two ugly people or a group of ugly people with one or two good looking people (who are usually there simply because they will be known as the 'pretty one of the group').
Of course that's a huge stereotype, and I'll probably get flamed for that, but I stand by it anyway. It's a lot of what I personally witness.
And I go to an all girls college, in the middle of my third year here, and it's actually been a long time since I've heard something like 'oh that person is good looking.' It's usually much more along the lines of 'I'd hit that.' (actually we can be even more crude <3 )
I say it and my husband says it. I guess I'm too... amused... to be offended.
blah.
Wow, it looks like someone payed attention to their sensetivity seminar. I guess you're buying tampons for more than just your girlfriend.
Like others have said here, it's a male thing. You don't say it to women, nor do you say it if you know they'll hear it. Something akin to how women get together in girl only groups to bash men. It's part of the eternal gender gap.
Have I been asked? Only in past tense. Among my friends saying, "I would hit it" is the baseline for minimum attraction. Think of the Master Ladder Theory.
I'd have to agree with the fact that if you say it once it'll make the girl feel sexy but afterthat it makes her feel like a whore. She wants to overhear it, not be made into a piece of meat. If he's telling one or two close friends then cool. Anymore than that and if in the tone they sound like they are saying it to sound cool it then becomes degrading.
THE MOST degrading statement I have ever heard is treat a girl like dirt and she'll stick to you like mud. Girls deserve respect and the fact that a guy said that means he obviously doesn't care about his gf.
@IvyMySweet@xanga - i totally agree! i'm a very open girl and I ask my boyfriend when girls walk by "would you hit that?" sometimes as a test, other times just to agree with him that, yeah, there are beautiful women out there. And doing that is totally normal! I'd be worried if a man or a woman has never done that and seems to show no apparent sexual interest in a girl or guy whatsoever.
And it's fine when my boyfriend does that as long as I can go and say "wow that guy is hot", and we trust each other because we love each other enough to know we won't cheat just because we see hotties around us.
I think most men say that because women are hot--why should a girl take offense to it as long as the men aren't creepy stalkers and know they can't get any just by doing that? I say a girl should be happy about the attention, because I think it would suck if a girl never gets even ONE guy to say to her "would you hit that?"
I just take it as a compliment. I'd rather be the girl who gets attention than a girl who doesn't.
It goes both ways, dude. Girls are just more sneaky about it. I don't especially mind, especially if the answer's yes. :P
Some women are going to think it's a terrible thing to say, others kind of already understand that most men aren't monsters. I'm lucky enough to have several great men in my life who have never hurt me--emotionally, mentally, or otherwise.
And yeah, most of them don't say "I'd hit that."
I still believe it wouldn't make a difference.
Never said it EVER.
i have to agree with ur sisters there~
it's not cool to hear that about oneself
and definitely doesn't make the one saying it look any cooler